Colbert Claims His Show Was 'The Joy Machine' And His Job Was To 'Feel The News'

Alex Christy
May 22nd, 2026 9:15 AM

Text to Speech

00:00 00:00
Font Size

Stephen Colbert began the final episode of CBS’s The Late Show by unwittingly highlighting how it all went wrong. Colbert told the audience that he viewed his show as “the joy machine” and that he thought his job was to “feel the news with you,” even if it was not actually that joyful. Later, during a sci-fi skit about the show being sucked into a black hole, Colbert was joined once again by his fellow late night hosts who suggested the black whole—that was actually green—was President Trump.

Colbert began the show by declaring, “Folks, we have done over 1,800 of these shows, and most nights I come out here and I talk to the audience beforehand, and tonight I thought I'd talk to the audience in here and the audience out there at home. This show, I want you to know and you to know, has been a joy for us to do for you. In fact, we call this show the joy machine, all right?…We call it the joy machine because to do this many shows, it has to be a machine.”

 

 

While The Late Show was not joyful to those who were on the receiving end of Colbert’s profane rantings, Colbert insisted that “On night one of The Colbert Report, back in the day, I said anyone can read the news to you, I promise to feel the news at you. And I realized pretty soon in this job that our job over here was different. We were here to feel the news with you.”

That was not Colbert’s job. To say a comedian’s job is to be funny is not particularly insightful because it says nothing about how to be funny. Yet, it is still more helpful than saying a comedian’s job is to help people process their political feelings. Today, comedy-seeking consumers don’t need to rely on the broadcast networks like they once did and Colbert’s desire to turn The Late Show into Liberal Therapy Hour contributed to the show’s demise.

The word “Trump” was never mentioned during Colbert’s finale, but he was alluded to. During the sketch about the show’s impending boom of being sucked into the void, The Daily Show’s Monday host and Colbert’s former colleague at Comedy Central, Jon Stewart, showed up on behalf of Paramount to rebuke him, “I'm here on behalf of Paramount. They wanted me to read the statement. I kind have to do what they say. I'm not the one who got canceled for stealing printer cartridges.”

He then read, “Paramount strongly believes in covering both sides of any black hole that is swallowing everything we know and love, and the coverage must also include the positive aspects of the insatiable emptiness.”

 

 

Stewart’s own show is proof that is not true, but the Trump-black whole metaphors were not quite done. Later, the Strike Force Five cast reunited again, and Colbert asked, “But why aren't you guys being pulled in too?”

Jimmy Kimmel retorted that, “You know what, actually, one of these holes opened at my show last year, but it went away after about three days.”

After Colbert wondered, “Is that what's gonna happen to me too?” John Oliver claimed, “At some point, this may come for all of our shows. But Stephen, what's important to remember is tonight it is gonna eat you.”

 

 

All TV shows eventually get sucked into the black hole, but Colbert accelerated his own downfall because his real black hole was the combination of the nature of television in 2026 and poor comedic choices. 

Here is a transcript for the May 21 show:

CBS The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

5/21/2026

11:35 PM ET

STEPHEN COLBERT: Folks, we have done over 1,800 of these shows, and most nights I come out here and I talk to the audience beforehand and tonight I thought I'd talk to the audience in here and the audience out there at home. This show, I want you to know and you to know, has been a joy for us to do for you. In fact, we call this show the joy machine, all right? Louis stole it from us and we are currently in litigation right now. You better lawyer up, buddy. We call it the joy machine because to do this many shows, it has to be a machine.

LOUIS CATO: Yeah.

COLBERT: But the thing is, if you choose to do it with joy, it doesn't hurt as much when your fingers get caught in the gears. And I cannot adequately explain to you what the people who work here have done for each other and how much we mean to each other.

CATO: Yeah.

COLBERT: So, I will just say—I would just say to them, I would just say to them: you are all the great Achilles whom we knew. Now, on night one of The Colbert Report, back in the day, I said anyone can read the news to you, I promise to feel the news at you. And I realized pretty soon in this job that our job over here was different. We were here to feel the news with you.

And I don't know about you, but I sure have felt it. And I just want to let all y'all know in here and out there how important you've been to what we have done. The energy that you have given us, we sincerely need that to have done the best possible show we could have for you for the last 11 years.

…

COLBERT: This can’t be happening. If only I had some sort of wise mentor figure I could talk to. Jon Stewart! Oh, Jon. Jon, do you know any wise mentor figures I could talk to?

JON STEWART: No, actually, Stephen, I'm here on behalf of Paramount. They wanted me to read the statement. I kind have to do what they say. I'm not the one who got canceled for stealing printer cartridges.

COLBERT: That's not why I was canceled!

STEWART: Quote, “Paramount strongly believes in covering both sides of any black hole that is swallowing everything we know and love, and the coverage must also include the positive aspects of the insatiable emptiness.”

COLBERT: Stephen: You know what? That's fair.

STEWART: It is.

 ...

COLBERT: But why aren't you guys being pulled in too?

JIMMY KIMMEL: You know what, actually, one of these holes opened at my show last year, but it went away after about three days.

COLBERT: Is that what's gonna happen to me too?

ALL: Shhhhhh.

JOHN OLIVER: At some point, this may come for all of our shows. But Stephen, what's important to remember is tonight it is gonna eat you.

Donor Privacy Policy