Well that didn’t age well. In the wake of the collapse of the Soviet Union, CBS compared newly independent states like Ukraine to annoying brats running away from home. Of course, the bizarre 1991 commentary came from the late Andy Rooney.
On the September 29, 1991 60 Minutes, Rooney began, “Who would have thought a year ago that the 15 states in the Soviet Union would decide to split up?”
He then compared the brutal regime of the old Soviet Union to the functioning republic of the United States, suggesting it would be like Florida or California leaving:
The old folks in Florida might decide they just don't want to pay for the education of the young anymore. They'd vote to leave the union. Texas might get tired of supporting little states like Rhode Island. Look at this. Here's Texas. This is Rhode Island. What does Texas need Rhode Island for? Here's what the continental United States would look like without California, New York, Texas and Florida.
In light of the war crimes being committed by Russia, Rooney’s conclusion is even more cringe worthy: “Every kid dreams about running away, but if they do, 99 percent of them decide it was a bad idea and come home. My bet is that in a few years, half those Soviet states that left the union will come home.”
A thug like Vladimir Putin couldn’t have said it better. If Ukraine has run away from home, then its parent is a psychotic dad who wants to murder his child.
Sadly, Andy Rooney wasn’t unique. See a March 14, 2022 NewsBusters study on how, although the press may hate the brutal Putin now, they gushed over the “mighty” Soviet Union back in the ‘80s and ‘90s.
For more examples from our FLASHBACK series, which we call the NewsBusters Time Machine, go here.
A transcript of the segment is below. Click “expand” to read more.
60 Minutes
09/29/1991LESLEY STAHL: We never heard an Andy Rooney imitation that didn't start Did you ever wonder why,' which amuses Andy because he says he never said it. Okay, Andy, how about Who would have thought'?
ANDY ROONEY: Who would have thought a year ago that the 15 states in the Soviet Union would decide to split up? Look at this. One day after another in the papers. What would the newspaper headlines look like if that had happened here in the United States? President Bush pleads, but breakaway states defy him, putting fate of US in doubt.' Bush threatens to quit unless nations find a way to preserve United States.' US leaders press a rebellious Ohio to remain in Union.'
You have to consider the possibility it could happen here. Let's face it, our 50 states aren't that friendly. Florida is jealous of California; Colorado and Arizona fight over water; and as far as Mississippi is concerned, New York could drop dead. Never mind Russia, we've got our own problems. There are a lot of reasons why a state might want to get out. Some states think their citizens pay more than their share of taxes to the federal government. Here are the five top taxpaying states: Californians pay the most, $ 127 billion. New Yorkers are next with $ 109 billion. These are the states that pay the least: Wyoming, just $ 1,200,000,000. That wouldn't pay for the checks they bounce in Congress. I mean, what if California says, Hey, listen, Wyoming. Go get your own army. We're tired of paying for all this stuff for you little guys'? New York might do the same.
And there's going to be a war between the young and the old in the United States. The old folks in Florida might decide they just don't want to pay for the education of the young anymore. They'd vote to leave the union. Texas might get tired of supporting little states like Rhode Island. Look at this. Here's Texas. This is Rhode Island. What does Texas need Rhode Island for? Here's what the continental United States would look like without California, New York, Texas and Florida. Well, it won't happen, of course. Every kid dreams about running away, but if they do, 99 percent of them decide it was a bad idea and come home. My bet is that in a few years, half those Soviet states that left the union will come home.
