SNL's Drunk Kavanaugh Claims Court Is Going To Let Trump Ignore Constitution

May 12th, 2026 12:41 PM

Actor Matt Damon stopped by NBC and Saturday Night Live over the weekend to reprise his role as Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh and suggest that he and his colleagues have a secret plan to let President Trump ignore the Constitution and run for a third term. Fake Kavanaugh revealed his secret while at a bar during a bro session with Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth (Colin Jost) and FBI Director Kash Patel (Aziz Ansari) at a bar to imply all three have an alcohol problem.

Initially it was just Kavanaugh and Hegseth when Damon quipped, “Hey, can I just say, we are both kicking ass right now.”

 

 

Fake Hegseth eagerly agreed, “Right? Dude, can you believe I just, like, started a war?” Meanwhile, Damon started his theme of not actually understanding the Court, “Can you believe I ended abortion? Hey, your body, my choice. Oh! You knew I'd do it. You knew I’d do it.”

After Fake Kavanaugh asked how the Iran War is going, Jost claimed, “Oh, it’s totally chill. It's totally chill. At this point—it's like me at a DWI checkpoint: it completely blew over.”

Damon then wondered, “Oh, really. I thought I read we were still bombing stuff.”

Jost then not-so-subtly tried to suggest that the administration is having the same problem with the Iran War as an alcoholic has with alcohol, “Ah, no, just like a few every now and then. We can stop whenever we want to.”

Damon then pulled out a picture, “Well, it's the new voting district that I approved in Tennessee… Oh, wait, actually, no. That's a field sobriety test. They told me to draw a circle.”

Fake Hegseth congratulated him, “Dude, you are really close…You knew it was a shape.”

The picture Damon held up actually was one of Tennessee’s new Fifth Congressional District held upside down. Of course, the Supreme Court didn’t approve it per se but did help greenlight the process by ruling in a related case from Louisiana that it is not 1965 anymore and so majority-minority districts are no longer required.

Later, after Ansari joined the scene, Damon asked the group, “Hey, since we're opening up, can I tell you guys something top secret?”

 

 

After Jost claimed, “Brother, everything's a secret when you're blacked out,” Damon continued, “Right. All right. We're going to let Trump do a third term.”

Following some celebration, Fake Hegseth claimed, “I thought that was unconstitutional.” Damon concluded his SCOTUS ignorance by celebrating, “Yeah, it was. But Trump found the original Constitution. And at the end he wrote, ‘Psych!’ We're going to live forever!”

Even if Trump were serious in his comments about running for a third term, does SNL really think the Court would just let him just ignore the 22nd Amendment? It would not even let him keep his tariffs.

Here is a transcript for the May 9 show:

NBC Saturday Night Live

5/9/2026

BRETT KAVANAUGH/MATT DAMON: Hey, can I just say, we are both kicking ass right now.

PETE HEGSETH/COLIN JOST: Right? Dude, can you believe I just, like, started a war?

DAMON: Can you believe I ended abortion? Hey, your body, my choice. Oh! You knew I'd do it. You knew I’d do it. How is the war going by the way?

JOST: Oh, it’s totally chill. It's totally chill. At this point—it's like me at a DWI checkpoint: it completely blew over.

DAMON: Oh, really. I thought I read we were still bombing stuff.

JOST: Ah, no, just like a few every now and then. We can stop whenever we want to.

DAMON: Oh, that's cool. Check this out.

JOST: What is this? What have you been up to?

DAMON: Well, it's the new voting district that I approved in Tennessee.

JOST: Oh, wow.

DAMON: Oh, wait, actually, no. That's a field sobriety test. They told me to draw a circle.

JOST: Dude, you are really close.

DAMON: Thanks, kemosabe.

JOST: You knew it was a shape.

DAMON: Yeah.

DAMON: Hey, since we're opening up, can I tell you guys something top secret?

JOST: Brother, everything's a secret when you're blacked out.

DAMON: Right. All right. We're going to let Trump do a third term.

JOST AND KASH PATEL/AZIZ ANSARI: Oh!

JOST: Come on! I thought that was unconstitutional.

DAMON: Yeah, it was. But Trump found the original Constitution. And at the end he wrote, "Psych!" We're going to live forever!

JOST: Whoa!

ANSARI: Yes!