CBS’s Stephen Colbert attacked “the big dumb idiots” down in Florida for wanting to ban the Pride flag in school classrooms on the Wednesday edition of The Late Show, but while attempting to mock the state, he ended up simply confusing anyone with any ability for critical thinking.
Colbert reported that “In Florida, Republicans are advancing a bill that would ban Pride flags in classrooms because clearly, Florida has nothing to be proud of. The big dumb idiots-- the big dumb idiots in favor of this big dumb law argue that ‘Public classrooms should not be the place where our kids go to be radicalized into accepting these partisan ideologies.’”
If you are wondering what the problem is, according to Colbert, it is some sort of hypocrisy, “A Florida classroom is no place to learn partisan ideologies. It's a place to learn that Jesus lived with the dinosaurs but they were just roommates.”
What is Colbert talking about? Obviously, Florida does not teach that Jesus lived with dinosaurs. If he’s trying to be clever and make some point about some religious conservatives and the age of the Earth, Florida doesn’t teach Young Earth creationism.
Colbert was not done attacking Floridian strawmen, “The bill would bar the display of any flag that represents a “political viewpoint including but not limited to a politically partisan, racial, sexual orientation and gender, or political ideology viewpoint.”
Against two pictures of flags, one with a welcome sign and the other wishing people a Happy Thanksgiving, Colbert proceeded, “Doesn't every flag have a political viewpoint? This flag is clearly pro-bird, while the house across the street is staunchly anti-bird! This is how the Civil War started... is what they teach in Florida.”
Since Colbert is more interested in the left-wing caricatures of Florida’s laws than the laws themselves, Colbert may be surprised to learn that Gov. Ron DeSantis is emphatic in his belief that slavery was the cause of the Civil War.
As for the Pride flag, “Okay class, take out a piece of paper, it's time for a pop quiz! This question is from a Florida textbook. "The U.S. Flag has 13 stripes. How many stripes does a pride flag have?" A, 13. B, 6. C, too late! You looked at it! Now you're gay!”
The point of the bill is obvious: schools do not exist to promote sexual liberalism. No amount of bizarre tangents about Jesus and dinosaurs or birds is going to change that.
Here is a transcript for the January 31 show:
CBS The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
1/31/2024
11:55 PM ET
STEPHEN COLBERT: In Florida, Republicans are advancing a bill that would ban Pride flags in classrooms because clearly, Florida has nothing to be proud of. The big dumb idiots-- the big dumb idiots in favor of this big dumb law argue that "Public classrooms should not be the place where our kids go to be radicalized into accepting these partisan ideologies." Sure. A Florida classroom is no place to learn partisan ideologies. It's a place to learn that Jesus lived with the dinosaurs but they were just roommates.
The bill would bar the display of any flag that represents a “political viewpoint including but not limited to a politically partisan, racial, sexual orientation and gender, or political ideology viewpoint.”
Doesn't every flag have a political viewpoint? This flag is clearly pro-bird, while the house across the street is staunchly anti-bird! This is how the Civil War started... is what they teach in Florida. Sure.
Okay class, take out a piece of paper, it's time for a pop quiz! This question is from a Florida textbook. "The U.S. Flag has 13 stripes. How many stripes does a pride flag have?" A, 13. B, 6. C, too late! You looked at it! Now you're gay!
