ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel is a strange person. The latest evidence being his Thursday monologue where he pondered Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis’s sex life, specifically his supposed lack of skill in that area of his life.
The context for Kimmel’s musings was one overzealous school district’s interpretation of the state’s law against providing sexualized reading material to students, “The Escambia County Public School District in Florida, as part of their state's ongoing war against reading, is now considering -- and this is not a joke -- is now considering a ban of the dictionary because it includes a definition of the word ‘sex.’”
The way these things have happened in the past is the school district goes beyond common sense, does their review, and then reinstates books that clearly didn’t need to be reviewed in the first place.
However, the media—including the comedy shows—usually only focus on the first part and Kimmel is no exception, “They have a state law designed to protect children from education and they're reviewing the dictionary. If the review holds, kids won't be able to get a dictionary at the library at school. If they want to look up a word, they’re have to go on the internet where there is no sexually explicit material at all! What a state. While you're at it, why not ban the word ‘dictionary’? From here on, they'll be called ‘tionary’ No dick allowed.”
Kimmel continued, "The district pulled five dictionaries, eight encyclopedias and The Guinness Book of World Records from the shelves. They're also reviewing the biographies of Beyoncé, Oprah, and The Diary of Anne Frank, which is filthy, pure pornography. What year is it?"
Putting up an image of DeSantis on screen, Kimmel claimed that, “In case you were wondering, this is how one of the offending dictionaries defines sex: something this man is definitely not good at,” adding “So, maybe it's a personal thing, I don't know.”
Then again, speculating about Republican and conservative sex lives is a something Kimmel does have an odd obsession with.
Here is a transcript for the January 11 show:
ABC Jimmy Kimmel Live!
1/11/2024
11:35 PM ET
JIMMY KIMMEL: The Escambia County Public School District in Florida, as part of their state's ongoing war against reading, is now considering -- and this is not a joke -- is now considering a ban of the dictionary because it includes a definition of the word "sex."
They have a state law designed to protect children from education and they're reviewing the dictionary. If the review holds, kids won't be able to get a dictionary at the library at school. If they want to look up a word, they’re have to go on the internet where there is no sexually explicit material at all!
What a state. While you're at it, why not ban the word "dictionary"? From here on, they'll be called "tionary" No dick allowed.
The district pulled five dictionaries, eight encyclopedias and The Guinness Book of World Records from the shelves. They're also reviewing the biographies of Beyoncé, Oprah, and The Diary of Anne Frank, which is filthy, pure pornography. What year is it?
They're also planning to ban calculators so students can't type out 58008 and turn it upside down.
In case you were wondering, this is how one of the offending dictionaries defines sex: something this man is definitely not good at. So, maybe it's a personal thing, I don't know.
