CBS’s Stephen Colbert reacted to the ceasefire with Iran for the first time on Wednesday’s edition of The Late Show and was ready to declare the war a failure. A sarcastic Colbert claimed the only thing the war accomplished was providing President Trump with a distraction from the Epstein files, while his cold open also attempted to throw cold water on the idea that the U.S. accomplished its goals.
Colbert introduced a parody clip of John Lennon by declaring, “Finally, the war was over for a bit. Realizing John Lennon’s dream.”
In the clip, a fake Lennon sang, “All we are saying is peace for two weeks.”
Stephen Colbert reacted to Trump declaring victory in Iran by saying "It's true. This war reached all of its objectives. It's been weeks since anyone mentioned the Epstein files." (1/2) pic.twitter.com/Y2ZJQSbkgT
— Alex Christy (@alexchristy17) April 9, 2026
Moving on, Colbert broke out his Trump voice when he added, “Trump announced the deal on social media, calling it a 'double-sided ceasefire.’ Okay, that is cool, but aren't all peace deals double-sided? I believe there's a word for a single-sided ceasefire, and it's 'murder.' ‘I'm done shootin' you now.’ Trump explained that he agreed to the ceasefire because, quote, ‘We have already met and exceeded all military objectives.’ It's true. This war reached all of its objectives. It's been weeks since anyone mentioned the Epstein files.”
Earlier, during the cold open, the bit’s narrator made a similar point, “After announcing a two-week ceasefire deal with Iran, President Trump claimed ‘total and complete victory’ for the U.S.”
After a short clip of Trump claiming “we won,” the narrator proceeded, “At the same time, none of the goals the president cited as the reason for the war have been reached. And even though Trump ran against foreign wars, MAGA overwhelmingly supports the attacks.”
Earlier, Colbert's cold open was also ready to say nothing was accomplished with the narrator saying "At the same time, none of the goals the president cited as the reason for the war have been reached."
— Alex Christy (@alexchristy17) April 9, 2026
Meanwhile a parody Price Is Right announcer says all the U.S. got was "A… pic.twitter.com/I3xV1zi99Y
That led into a parody of The Price Is Right where a fake Bob Barker reacted to a joyful contestant, “Trump voter, come on down! President Trump says there's been a total and complete victory in Iran, so show her that prize!”
The show’s announcer followed with, “A younger, angrier ayatollah. And a $50 billion price tag to be paid by you. But that's not all. Higher fuel prices and global instability. And there's more! Iran's nuclear stockpiles still intact. Thanks for playing. Thanks for playing.”
The cold open ended with chants of “The Prez Ain't Right.”
Gen. Dan Caine reported on Wednesday that Operation Epic Fury has, among other things, led to the destruction of 90 percent of Iran’s weapons factories, including every one that used to produce Shaheed drones. He also said that 90 percent of Iran’s regular navy and 50 percent of its IRGC mosquito fleet have been destroyed. Additionally, 450 ballistic missile and 800 one-way attack drone storage facilities are gone. Most importantly, roughly “80 percent of Iran's nuclear industrial base was hit, further degrading their attempts to attain a nuclear weapon.”
To say distracting from Epstein was Epic Fury’s only accomplishment is simply to ignore reality.
Here is a transcript for the April 8 show:
CBS The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
4/8/2026
11:35 PM ET
ANNOUNCER: After announcing a two-week ceasefire deal with Iran, President Trump claimed "total and complete victory" for the U.S.
DONALD TRUMP: We won.
ANNOUNCER: At the same time, none of the goals the president cited as the reason for the war have been reached. And even though Trump ran against foreign wars, MAGA overwhelmingly supports the attacks.
BOB BARKER PARODY: Trump voter, come on down! President Trump says there's been a total and complete victory in Iran, so show her that prize!
PRICE IS RIGHT ANNOUNCER: A younger, angrier ayatollah. And a $50 billion price tag to be paid by you. But that's not all. Higher fuel prices and global instability. And there's more! Iran's nuclear stockpiles still intact. Thanks for playing. Thanks for playing.
CROWD: The Prez Ain't Right.
…
STEPHEN COLBERT: Finally, the war was over for a bit. Realizing John Lennon’s dream.
JOHN LENNON PARODY: All we are saying is peace for two weeks.
COLBERT: Trump announced—Yeah. Trump announced the deal on social media, calling it a [Trump voice] "double-sided ceasefire."
Okay, that is cool, but aren't all peace deals double-sided? I believe there's a word for a single-sided ceasefire, and it's "murder." "I'm done shootin' you now." Trump explained that he agreed to the ceasefire because, quote [Trump voice], "We have already met and exceeded all military objectives." It's true. This war reached all of its objectives. It's been weeks since anyone mentioned the Epstein files.
