CBS’s Stephen Colbert returned from two weeks of vacation on Monday, sporting a new mustache and attacking his Paramount bosses for giving President Trump a “big, fat bribe” for settling his 60 Minutes lawsuit. The Late Show host would also continue his faux heroics by suggesting Skydance might pressure or even fire him if their merger with Paramount is approved.
Colbert began his phony shtick where he played the role of the little employee standing up to his corporate overlords by declaring, “And tonight, ladies and gentlemen, my mustache comes to you with a heavy heart because while I was on vacation, my parent corporation, Paramount, paid Donald Trump a $16 million settlement over his 60 Minutes lawsuit.”
He further decried the settlement “for a nuisance lawsuit Trump filed claiming that 60 Minutes deceptively edited their interview with then-candidate Kamala Harris last fall. Paramount knows they could have easily fought it because in their own words, ‘the lawsuit was completely without merit.’”
Of course, 60 Minutes did deceptively edit the interview, but nevertheless Colbert added, “Now, unlike the payoffs from ABC and Twitter, Paramount's settlement did not include an apology. Instead—that's good. Instead the corporation released a statement where they said, ‘You may take our money, but you will never take our dignity. You may, however, purchase our dignity for the low, low price of $16 million. We need the cash.’”
Colbert then claimed the reason for the settlement is that Paramount wants to get on Trump’s good side, “Now, I believe this kind of complicated financial sentiment with a sitting government official has a technical meme in legal circles. It's 'Big, fat bribe' because it all comes as Paramount's owners are trying to get the Trump administration to approve the sale of our network to a new owner: Skydance.”
It’s ironic that Colbert mentioned the ABC lawsuit. Despite the settlement, ABC’s news coverage remains unchanged, This Week anchor George Stephanopoulos remains employed, and Jimmy Kimmel is still telling a disproportionate amount of Trump jokes. Yet, Colbert still raised the possibility that Skydance would target him, “Some of the TV typers out there are blogging that once Skydance gets CBS, the new owners' desire to please Trump could 'put pressure on late-night host and frequent Trump critic Stephen Colbert.' Okay, okay, but how are they going to put pressure on Stephen Colbert if they can't find him? And even if they do, and even if they do, Mr. Stephen always has his scented oil business to fall back on.”
A lot of that discourse seems to be of clickbait from people who are trying to play into liberal fears of Trump using authoritarian tactics to shut down his critics. Colbert’s future may be in doubt given the uncertain future of the late night comedy talk show format, but the actual possibility that Colbert, by far the most watched late night host not named Greg Gutfeld, gets fired or isn’t re-signed after 2026 due to politics is highly unlikely.
Here is a transcript for the July 14 show:
CBS The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
7/14/2025
11:39 PM ET
STEPHEN COLBERT: And tonight, ladies and gentlemen, my mustache comes to you with a heavy heart because while I was on vacation, my parent corporation, Paramount, paid Donald Trump a $16 million settlement over his 60 Minutes lawsuit.
As someone who has always been a proud employee of this network, I am offended, and I don't know if anything will ever repair my trust in his company. But just taking a stab at it, I'd say $16 million would help.
This settlement is for a nuisance lawsuit Trump filed claiming that 60 Minutes deceptively edited their interview with then-candidate Kamala Harris last fall. Paramount knows they could have easily fought it because in their own words, “the lawsuit was completely without merit.”
And keep in mind, Paramount produced Transformers: Rise of the Beasts. They know "Completely without merit."
Now, unlike the payoffs from ABC and Twitter, Paramount's settlement did not include an apology. Instead—that's good. Instead the corporation released a statement where they said, "You may take our money, but you will never take our dignity. You may, however, purchase our dignity for the low, low price of $16 million. We need the cash."
Now, I believe, what can I say? What can I say, [Turkish accent] "Mr. Stephen loves to dance.”
Now, I believe this kind of complicated financial sentiment with a sitting government official has a technical meme in legal circles. It's "Big, fat bribe" because it all comes as Paramount's owners are trying to get the Trump administration to approve the sale of our network to a new owner: Skydance.
Not the music I was expecting, okay. That was me dancing in the sky. Some of the TV typers out there are blogging that once Skydance gets CBS, the new owners' desire to please Trump could "Put pressure on late-night host and frequent Trump critic Stephen Colbert." Okay, okay, but how are they going to put pressure on Stephen Colbert if they can't find him? And even if they do, and even if they do, Mr. Stephen always has his scented oil business to fall back on.
