Over the past several days, Democrats have run around with their hair on fire over Elon Musk and his DOGE team’s effort to find wasteful government spending, but on her Wednesday show, CBS’s Taylor Tomlinson demanded they “man up” because “sometimes you gotta fight Big Balls with bigger balls.”
The use of “Big Balls” as a proper noun refers to one of the members of Musk’s team, “If you weren't already freaked about this happening, don't worry, it gets worse. All these guys are also really young. They're all under 26. Call me crazy, but I don't love handing the federal government to guys who are still on their parent's health insurance. I don't like that. That doesn’t feel good. People online uncovered the LinkedIn page of one of these DOGE members, a 19-year-old that goes by the username ‘Big Balls.’”
Tomlinson then put up a picture of the man whose real name is Edward Coristine and quipped, “Also, look at Big Balls: Have you ever seen a more Joffrey-looking mother[bleep] in your life. He looks like if Jimmy Neutron joined the Hitler youth. This guy looks like if the phrase "Do you know who my father is?" gained sentience. I’m afraid.”
Lamenting the whole situation, she added, “According to Wired, some government employees said that Crown Prince Big Balls has appeared on calls where workers were made to go over code they had written and justify their jobs. Imagine working decades in public service, distributing humanitarian aid, and then having to defend your job to a kid who just discovered the show Family Guy, probably. Like, he's like, ‘We need to fire these people. They are so not giggity.’"
Talking over a photoshopped image of Musk and President Donald Trump, Tomlinson rolled on, “This entire story is basically to say: There is a bull in the China shop. And there was already a bull in that China shop. The shop is our government. All the delicate, easy-to-shatter plates and glasses are Medicare and social services.”
Finally, Tomlinson turned to Democrats, “And the people who were supposed to stop them, Democrats in Congress, are the shop attendant saying [bleep] like ‘Can I get you anything? If there's anything else you want to smash, just let me know, we have more in the back room. Anything you need?’ I hate to ask the Democrats to man up, but sometimes you gotta fight Big Balls with bigger balls. And right now they are fighting Big Balls with blue balls. [bleep]. What are we doing?
It’s a good question. What are we doing turning what was supposed to be a fun little game show and slowly turning it into just another liberal late night show?
Here is a transcript for the February 5-taped show:
CBS After Midnight
2/6/2025
12:39 AM ET
TAYLOR TOMLINSON: If you weren't already freaked about this happening, don't worry, it gets worse. All these guys are also really young. They're all under 26. Call me crazy, but I don't love handing the federal government to guys who are still on their parent's health insurance. I don't like that. That doesn’t feel good. People online uncovered the LinkedIn page of one of these DOGE members, a 19-year-old that goes by the username "Big Balls." The crazy part is that someone that young is on LinkedIn. I guess the only bright side here is he probably will only steal Social Security numbers that end in 420 or 69. So, some of us are safe.
Also, look at Big Balls: Have you ever seen a more Joffrey-looking mother[bleep] in your life. He looks like if Jimmy Neutron joined the Hitler youth. This guy looks like if the phrase "Do you know who my father is?" gained sentience. I’m afraid.
These guys are going to go into the Oval Office and replace the desk with a plastic lawn chair and a PS5.
According to Wired, some government employees said that Crown Prince Big Balls has appeared on calls where workers were made to go over code they had written and justify their jobs.
Imagine working decades in public service, distributing humanitarian aid, and then having to defend your job to a kid who just discovered the show Family Guy, probably. Like, he's like, "We need to fire these people. They are so not giggity."
This entire story is basically to say: There is a bull in the China shop. And there was already a bull in that China shop. The shop is our government. All the delicate, easy-to-shatter plates and glasses are Medicare and social services.
It’s—we shouldn't be clapping. It's not good. And the people who were supposed to stop them, Democrats in Congress, are the shop attendant saying [bleep] like “Can I get you anything? If there's anything else you want to smash, just let me know, we have more in the back room. Anything you need."
I hate to ask the Democrats to man up, but sometimes you gotta fight Big Balls with bigger balls. And right now they are fighting Big Balls with blue balls. [bleep]. What are we doing?
