More than a decade ago, actress Allison Janney played White House press secretary C.J. Cregg on the NBC drama The West Wing. So it's not shocking that Samantha Bee borrowed that character for the opening skit of her "Not the Correspondents' Dinner" special on TBS on Saturday night. In this skit, Janney ripped into a cartoonish right-wing media full of urine-drinkers, teenage Breitbart staffers, and redneck uncle bloggers.
JANNEY: Yes? You're 18 in your father's suit, obviously from Breitbart.
TEENAGER: Yeah. Doesn't having a female host for this dinner demonstrate a clear anti-white male bias? [Fist-bumps another white guy.]
JANNEY: Absolutely not. Sam is not at all biased against white men. She just can't tell you apart and thinks you all know each other. Yes?
ED BAUER, redneck in a cap: Yes. Hi, Ed Bauer, the Bold-Faced Red Fire Email Alert for America's Uncles. Is tonight's episode going to be like every episode of Full Frontal where Sam just talks about vaginas for a half hour?
JANNEY: No, buttercup. Tonight she'll be talking about them for a full hour. I'll take a Skype question because I guess that's a thing now. Yes, Lynyrd Skynyrd tribute band member.
SKYPE QUESTIONER: Yes, speaking as a fringe nut-job survivalist who unaccountably drinks his own urine.
JANNEY: What's your question?
SKYPE QUESTIONER: No question. [Drinks urine.]
JANNEY: Is anyone here a reporter?
Then she takes a question from a woman who says she’s from U.S. News, and Janney says “I know you’re from Russia Today.” They have a chat in Russian, with subtitles:
RUSSIA TODAY: If I could obtain for Samantha Bee the video of urinating prostitutes, what would she pay?
JANNEY: A lot.
Later in the show, Bee delighted in the idea of getting photos or video of Trump with the alleged urinating prostitutes.
Then came the segment that sounds like a classic Aaron Sorkin liberal sermon, complete with music and applause:
JANNEY: Last question. Opus Dei. [That's a Catholic-mocking gibe, a la The DaVinci Code.]
REPORTER IN A HOOD: Lloyd Merkin, Protocols of the Elders of Zion. Why hasn't Samantha Bee commented on the allegations that she's a witch?
JANNEY: Okay. You know what? You people are monsters. Yes, we have freedom of speech and of the press in this country and that is a beautiful thing. [Applause] So if a morally bankrupt gang of racist bloggers, anarchists, dominionist radio hosts and rancid women haters want to call themselves journalists, no one can stop you. But you are part of the reason no one trusts the real press.
These journalists work day and night to find the truth, write it down or tell it to a camera. And sometimes they [bleep] it up but when they do, they apologize -- most of the time. They chase down stories, even when stories put them in danger, and their phone batteries die because of all the Pepes tweeting abuse at them and you pretend to be them, ruining their reputation, at least among people too stupid to tell the difference.
You are the dregs of a free society, we have to let you exist but we do not have to listen to you. So Samantha Bee will be spending the evening with real reporters, and by the way, to answer your question, yes, of course she's a witch! We're all witches! [Destroys “Merkin” with red rays coming out of her eyeballs.]
Bee just adores the idea that she is a witch. She also proclaimed herself a witch in her TBS debut....to a room of stupid sexist reporters. (How Jenny One-Note.) She also loves smearing all conservative reporters as "the dregs of a free society," and the opposite of "real reporters." Like many liberals, for Bee "real reporters" translates into "liberal activists."
