On Friday morning, the Daily Kos blogger with the byline Seneca Doane tried to have fun with the mass defection away from Newt Gingrich, satirically offering Newt his services in defeating the other GOP candidates. He was especially vicious with Herman Cain: "I'll admit it right up front -- Cain scares me. I don't mean as an opponent; I mean as a human being." Cain, he says is the perfect racist:
Cain poses a problem, though. Cain can get away with saying more racist things than you can, because white (i.e., almost all) Republicans think that because he's Black, he can't be racist, even if he's trotting out every vicious anti-Black stereotype in the book to the delight of white onlookers. (And he will. You should let people know that he'll be your choice for HUD Secretary. The more pissed off he gets at it and denies that he'd take the job, the better. You'll tell him that you know that he wants a job and will give it his all.)
Cain's "insider racism" is a problem for you, because it takes away one of your strengths. I'm no expert on racist appeals, Newt -- I assume that Republicans have a list of people you can call for those, but I have made a study of your speeches in the past day and I have an approach that I think will fit you well: be extremely, extremely patronizing. It's one of your strengths anyway; might as well use it!
Seneca Doane went further, insisting Cain is seriously stupid and needs basic facts explained to him:
So: treat him like he's a precocious fourth-grader. Explain basic facts to him. "Gerald Ford -- he was the President before Jimmy Carter, Herman -- once said...." Or if you speak after him, go with "That was a nice point, Herman! That was very good. So clever! I'm proud of you." The goal is to get him to snap, to turn into Sherman Helmsley doing a rant from The Jeffersons. (It was a TV show in the 1970s, Newt.) He'll start off doing a slow burn. He'll lash out at you from time to time -- you just be beatific and oblivious. Eventually, when he realizes that is dignity is sloughing off of him like the skin off a wet shar pei, he will snap. He will start calling you some ugly names. And when he does, you will have him arrested and escorted away. You'll roll your eyes at the audience with sort of a "well, what can you expect?" look, and they'll eat it up. Then you'll call out to him that you'll still want him as your HUD Secretary, because you believe that Blacks do have a legitimate place in the Republican Party.
This blogger's contempt for black conservatives was also on display in the comments section. This was his signature statement under every reply:
Clarence Thomas had a dump
Weiner said "this guy's a chump"
He was caught tweeting pix riské [sic]
So Justice Thomas got away.
(Temporarily.)
