A panicky Stephen Colbert on Thursday night worried about a replay of 2016's surprise and highlighted the "PTSD" he has from Trump’s win four years ago. The Late Show host worried, “Currently, 538's election projection says the chances of Biden winning the election are 89 percent and only 11 percent for Donald Trump and The Economist has Biden at 96 percent. So, that's great. I'm happy? Funny, this all feels so familiar.”
He then played a montage of journalists and politicians getting it wrong:
THOMAS ROBERTS: Multiple outlets do predict a Clinton win. We have The New York Times putting that chance at 88 percent.
NANCY PELOSI: Donald Trump is not going to be president of the united States.
BARACK OBAMA: I continue to believe Mr. Trump will not be president.
Lumping himself in with Democrats, the former comedian fretted, “I'm not alone with the pre-election yips. All over the country, Democrats are refusing to allow themselves any smidgen of optimism, saying they ‘Trust no one.’”
Forgetting that up to half the country will be voting for Trump, he smugly complained, “Experts say that we need hope for the future to help ward off this anxiety, however, some Americans say they're too afraid to hope.”
As a refresher, Colbert on election night 2016 freaked, “What the fuck is happening?” At one point he sputtered, “Wow. Wow, that’s a horrifying prospect. It can't put -- I cannot put a happy face on that. And that's my job.”
The Democratic freak out on Thursday night was sponsored by Hyundai. Click on the link to let them know what you think.
A partial transcript is below. Click "expand" to read more.
The Late Show With Stephen Colbert
10/29/2020
11:55 PM ETSTEPHEN COLBERT: Hello, friends and neighbors. Welcome back. Quick reminder, everybody: Next Tuesday we will be live over on Showtime. We’re taking the whole caravan to paid cable for some full frontal nudity, for a show we're calling Stephen Colbert's Election Night: Democracy's Last Stand: Building Back America Great Again Better 2020. Folks, as I was saying back in the monologue, the president's message of "A COVID in every pot" is not polling great, and things are looking pretty good for Vice President Joe Biden. Currently, 538's election projection says the chances of Biden winning the election are 89 percent and only 11 percent for Donald Trump; and the economist has Biden at 96 percent. So, that's great. I'm happy? Funny, this all feels so familiar.
THOMAS ROBERTS: Multiple outlets do predict a Clinton win. We have the "New York Times" putting that chance at 88 percent.
NANCY PELOSI: Donald Trump is not going to be president of the united States.
BARACK OBAMA: I continue to believe Mr. Tump will not be president.
HILLARY CLINTON: Pokemon go to the polls.
COLBERT: Ugh! What happened? Is the election over yet? Snap out of it, Colbert. Don't believe in the polls. You promised yourself after the last election, you would not "Pokemon go down that road again.” And I'm not alone with the pre-election yips. All over the country, Democrats are refusing to allow themselves any smidgen of optimism, saying they "Trust no one." The paranoia is so bad I can't even pick a mouthwash-- I don't care what four out of five dentists recommend.
What's that fifth one know that I don't? Experts say that we need hope for the future to help ward off this anxiety, however, some Americans say they're too afraid to hope. This is likely a protective mechanism in response to the 2016 election. It feels like we're all Charlie Brown, going to kick the football, but we know at the last second, Lucy's going to give us Coronavirus. So can we trust the polls? Or are we trapped in an unknowable universe of chaos? Here to either calm me down or stoke my anxiety, please welcome national editor of The Cook Political Report and polling expert, Amy Walter. Amy, thank you so much for being here.
AMY COOK: Thanks for having me.
COLBERT: Now, the 2016 PTSD is real.
COOK: It is.
COLBERT: Remind all of us what went wrong, in retrospect? What went wrong with those polling probability predictions, whatever you want to call them, and how that's all fixed now?
COOK: Right. So I don't know that I can tell you that everything's fixed and better because polling in and of itself isn't perfect, right. We all know that there's error.
...
COLBERT: What about the shy, silent trump voters we hear so much about that are there, pollsters can't find them but they come out of the woods and vote at the last minute?
