This is waaaaay too funny, folks, and requires all combustibles, potables, and sharp objects to be properly stowed before proceeding.
In response to the recent brouhaha concerning Don Imus and the Rutgers women’s basketball team, former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay has called on “conservatives to use the available media (radio talk shows, blogs, letters to the editor) to protest and demand that Rosie O’Donnell be kicked off The View.”
They didn’t call him “The Hammer” for nothing, folks.
In a piece posted at his blog Wednesday – obviously before CBS radio decided to fire Imus – and deliciously titled “If the Left takes Imus, We’ll take Rosie,” DeLay described this deplorable event in a way that only he could whilst issuing a reciprocal call to arms:
At some point in the next few days, Don Imus may be fired from his nationally syndicated radio show and television simulcast. He will become that radio guy who got fired for saying something racist. But that won’t be the real reason. Yes, his comments were deplorable, and, especially for a broadcaster of his experience, truly odd. He says it was a misfired joke, and he has apologized, several times, and seems genuinely sorry for letting such a joke cross his lips. But that’s not enough – the Left, true to form, wants him publicly and professionally destroyed.
Trust me – Tom was just getting warmed up (emphasis added throughout):
The message of the ongoing Imus scandal is simple: Verbal offenses against anyone, other than conservatives or Christians or Jews, will be treated as crimes, and Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton are the judge and jury.
Next, much like Jason Whitlock, DeLay went after America’s two most prominent “civil rights leaders":
And let’s not forget about the Dynamic Duo calling for Imus’ resignation. They have their own past offenses, like the anti-Semitic slur used by the Rev. Jesse Jackson, when he referred to New York City as “Hymietown” in a conversation with reporters. His apology? Asking that we charge his head, not his heart. And the most eloquent Rev. Al Sharpton, who was convicted (read: FOUND GUILTY) of libel when he very publicly accused a white assistant district attorney of raping a young black girl, which never happened. They don’t apologize…they run for president of the United States.
Absolutely delicious. But, all of this was beside the point once DeLay set his sights on the real target of his disaffection:
And for the contextual icing on the cake, where are the repercussions for Rosie O’Donnell’s hateful, idiotic accusations that President Bush was behind the 9/11 attacks? And her ignorant parody of the Chinese language? Or her comparison of conservative Christians to Islamo-fascist terrorists? Why has ABC not suspended her from The View? Why has she not been frog-marched up to some radio show to apologize to 9/11 victims/Chinese-American activists/evangelical Christians?
Why indeed. What’s DeLay’s answer:
What the Left is doing is not a fluke – it’s a concerted strategy. And it works. So if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. That’s why I am calling on conservatives to use the available media (radio talk shows, blogs, letters to the editor) to protest and demand that Rosie O’Donnell be kicked off The View. Where are the demonstrations in front of ABC? Where are the boycott threats for The View’s advertisers, or its parent company, Disney? Who is holding Barbara Walters accountable for Rosie’s offenses? We can fight like the Left, too. If Don Imus falls to the pleas of political correctness, we’re taking Rosie O’Donnell down with him.
And that, my fellow conservatives, is how the Left wins. Now it’s our turn. Charge it to our heads, not our hearts.
What was Rosie's well thought out, articulate response to DeLay:
HEY TOM DELAY
U R A CRIMINAL
What, you were expecting something eloquent and dignified?
(Noel Sheppard reporting from a district outside of that which DeLay used to represent whilst California dreaming on a cloudy day.)