After angering many well-mannered Americans and seeing the #FireColbert hashtag go viral over a two day period, so-call comedian Stephen Colbert started off The Late Show on Wednesday by doubling down on his low-brow “humor.” “I don't regret that,” he told his audience.
The outcry Colbert was defying stemmed from an angry and curse-filled tirade that he leveled against President Trump Monday night. “You are the Presi-dunce, but are turning into a real prick-tator. Sir, you attract more skinheads than free Rogaine,” Colbert smeared. “You have more people marching against you than cancer.”
What drew most of the public’s scorn was when he declared: “You talk like a sign language gorilla who got hit in the head. In fact, the only thing your mouth is good for is being Vladimir Putin's c**k [bleep] holster.” Remember, this is a man that teaches a Catholic Sunday school.
“Now, folks, if you saw my monologue on Monday, you know that I was a little upset with Donald Trump for insulting a friend of mine,” he prefaced near the top of his show. “So at the end of that monologue, I had a few choice insults for the president in return. I don't regret that.”
He started Wednesday’s show by mocking those who were calling for CBS to fire him and a boycott of his advertisers. “Welcome to The Late Show. I'm your host, Stephen Colbert. Still? Am I still the host? I'm still the host,” he shouted with his arms up in victory.
The only group he wanted to apologize to were the people in the LGBT community he offended with his holster “joke:”
I believe he can take care of himself. I have jokes. He has the launch codes. So it's a fair fight. So while I would do it again, I would change a few words that were cruder than they needed to be. Now, I'm not going to repeat the phrase. But I just want to say, for the record: Life is short, and anyone who expresses their love for another person in their own way is, to me, an American hero.
“And I think we can all agree on that. I hope even the president and I can agree on that. Nothing else, but that,” he concluded.
He quickly switched gears to railing against the man he blamed for there being a President Donald Trump: “And for once, for once, the big story today is not Donald Trump. It's why we have Donald Trump: James Comey.” Colbert claimed Hillary Clinton proved it when she refused to take personal responsibility for being a terrible candidate and blamed Comey and the Russians.
Transcript below:
CBS
The Late Show
May 3, 2017
11:37:02 PM EasternSTEPHEN COLBERT: Welcome to The Late Show. I'm your host, Stephen Colbert.
( Cheers and applause )
Still? Am I still the host? I'm still the host!
( Cheers and applause )
Now, folks, if you saw my monologue on Monday, you know that I was a little upset with Donald Trump for insulting a friend of mine. So at the end of that monologue I had a few choice insults for the president in return. I don't regret that.
( Cheers and applause )
I believe he can take care of himself. I have jokes. He has the launch codes. So it's a fair fight. So while I would do it again, I would change a few words that were cruder than they needed to be. Now, I'm not going to repeat the phrase. But I just want to say, for the record: Life is short, and anyone who expresses their love for another person in their own way is, to me, an American hero.
And I think we can all agree on that. I hope even the president and I can agree on that. Nothing else, but that. And for once, for once, the big story today is not Donald Trump. It's why we have Donald Trump: James Comey.
(…)
