In his recent blog ("Making Headlines: The Law, Summer 2007"), CBS News legal analyst Andrew Cohen describes his midsummer night's dream of legal headlines he would "like to see, but probably won't." In the tradition of another more-famous CBS employee, Cohen lists his "top ten" legal headlines - a wish list with an obvious liberal slant.
Here are some of Cohen's headlines, along with the necessary translation.
Cohen: "Attorney General Alberto Gonzales resigns, James Comey named successor; Pledges 'return of professionalism and independence' to Justice Department;"; and "In unusual deal with lawmakers, Gonzales says he’ll leave 'public service'; Vows return to Texas in exchange for immunity from perjury prosecution." Translation: Cohen here continues the MSM onslaught directed at the attorney general. But Cohen remains confounded by the President's loyalty toward Gonzales. In Cohen's dream world, a humiliated Gonzales would resign in shame and retreat to Texas (apparently the de facto exile for conservatives).
Cohen: "Executive privilege fight avoided by compromise in U.S. Attorney probe; White House officials to testify under oath in private about prosecutor purge." Translation: Cohen here dreams of a situation where more Bush administration officials testify under oath, whereupon there can be yet-more allegations of perjury (see Scooter Libby, Alberto Gonzales), more investigations, more hearings, and more calls for special prosecutors. But Cohen's dream will not come true as there is no reason or need for the Bush Administration to make a "compromise."
Cohen: "Congress passes new federal 'shield law' protecting reporter’s privilege; President vows to sign legislation; Justice Department pledges cooperation." Translation: Cohen and his friends in the MSM used to be able to cite anonymous sources with impugnity for the sake of dropping political bombs. However, several recent cases (Libby again, the BALCO case) have seen journalists in jeopardy of jail time for protecting sources. Cohen here dreams of a perfect media universe where his journalist friends can freely communicate their liberal message without fear of incarceration.
Cohen: "Presidential candidates pledge to focus on makeup of High Court; GOP and Dems will debate role of Justices in run-up to 2008 vote." Translation: Now that the Supreme Court arguably has a conservative majority, it is imperative to have a serious discussion about the makeup of the Court.
Cohen: "U.S. closes controversial, expensive Guantanamo Bay detention facility; Feds establish new 'terrorism' court system to handle remaining suspects"; and "Supreme Court blocks campaign advertisements in judicial races nationwide; Justices say free speech concerns trumped by need for decorum, independence." Translation: While Cohen is concerned about preserving the civil liberties of the Guantanamo terrorists, he is also more than willing to heave a constitutional protection overboard in order to level the playing field for liberal state judicial candidates.
Cohen: "Cable networks vow to end all coverage of 'celebrity' legal gossip; Lohan, Hilton depart California for exile on island near Arctic Circle." Translation: Here Cohen devaites from his usual legal commentary to slam cable news. Cohen and the other professionals at CBS are apparently "above it all" when it comes to the tabloid-style cable news coverage of pop tarts Lohan and Hilton. Cohen, however, conveniently overlooks the nine cbsnews.com stories about Lindsay Lohan, just since July 24. Oops.
Keep dreaming Andrew Cohen.
