On the heels of news that he’s slipped to third place in the network late night comedy show ratings due to his alienation of right-leaning voters, Late Show host Stephen Colbert proved why it’s the case on Thursday as he accused Republicans of not being Christians for wanting to put a hold on the U.S. accepting Syrian refugees, contending it's comparable to the KKK as an example of Christians committing acts of terrorism.
Colbert started his latest attack on conservatives by complaining that “the question of whether to let Syrian refugees into this country has become the new political issue, completely overshadowing the old political issue” of “[w]hether to let Mexicans into this country.”
Sighing that he and the audience will spend the next few moments “wander[ing] blindly onto the news tarmac and get[ting] sucked into one of the fear turbines,” Colbert mocked the bipartisan bill that passed the House placing further restrictions on Syrian refugees:
[T]his afternoon, Congress passed a new bill that would require the nation's top security officials to personally certify that each refugee admitted from Iraq or Syria is not a threat. It's called the American Security Against Foreign Enemies Act, or “ASAFEA,” because under the law, no one will be allowed in the country.
After mocking Donald Trump for wondering why many Muslims that come to the U.S. decide to settle in frigid Minnesota, Colbert spent a brief few moments on President Obama’s rhetoric attacking those opposed to allowing the Syrian refugees to continue flowing in and his accusation that “scared of widows and orphans coming into the United States of America.”
Turning his attention back to the GOP, Colbert played a clip of MSNBC’s Chris Hayes mentioning that Jeb Bush and Ted Cruz have called for only Syrian refugees that are Christian to continue to be allowed into the country.
It was following this point that Colbert placed on-screen a picture of Ku Klux Klan members with a burning cross to draw a moral equivalency between Christianity and radical Islam:
Christians have never committed acts of terror. I'm sure. I'm sure these guys right here are just campers roasting marshmallows, wearing one-man tents. You can tell they’re campers because they’re each wearing one-man tents. And this kind of selective immigration is nothing new. Like the plaque on the Statue of Liberty says: “Give us your tired, your poor, mostly Christians, and maybe one or two Indian guys with engineering degrees.”
Continuing to tear into Bush and Cruz, Colbert showed a soundbite Bush had recently with reporters where they asked him how he would determine which Syrian refugees were Christian to which Bush simply stated “[w]ell, if you're Christian, you can prove you're a Christian....I think you can prove it.”
Riding his high horse for a few moments longer, Colbert touted how he (unlike Bush) can judge whether or not someone is Christian and that individuals like Bush and Cruz are equitable to terrorists:
Yeah, you can prove it. [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] I mean, if you want to know if somebody is Christian, just ask them to complete this sentence: “Jesus said I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you....” and if they don't say “welcomed me in,” they are either a terrorist or they are running for president.
The transcript of the segment from CBS’s The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on November 19 can be found below.
CBS’s The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
November 19, 2015
11:44 p.m. Eastern
STEPHEN COLBERT: Now, folks, I don't know about you, but after the attacks in Paris, I don't want to talk about ISIS or “ISIL” or “Daesh” or “P-Diddy” or whatever they’re going by this week. Here's the deal: If you want to live in the seventh century, you don't get to be on TV, but, after that senseless tragedy, the question of whether to let Syrian refugees into this country has become the new political issue, completely overshadowing the old political issue: Whether to let Mexicans into this country. It's all anybody in Washington, on the campaign trail, or on the TV box is talking about, so let's wander blindly onto the news tarmac and get sucked into one of the fear turbines. I’m starting today with the news that this afternoon Congress passed a new bill that would require the nation's top security officials to personally certify that each refugee admitted from Iraq or Syria is not a threat. It's called the American Security Against Foreign Enemies Act, or “ASAFEA,” because under the law, no one will be allowed in the country. [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] Besides, presidential candidate and man whose hair is a refugee from his scalp, Donald Trump, isn't even sure they'd want to be here.
DONALD TRUMP: The weather — a friend of mine lives in Minnesota, and he calls me. He says: “Can you imagine? It's 130 degrees in Syria and now they want to send some up to Minnesota where it's 30 degrees.” Well, these people are going to be very, very unhappy. It’s cold and beautiful, but it's cold. [SCREEN WIPE] You keep 'em in Syria. [SCREEN WIPE] The weather's the same.
COLBERT: Yeah, it's a tough call for the refugees: “Do I stay in a war zone where my family faces almost certain death? Or do I go somewhere I have to put on a jacket before I go to the mall?” [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] I mean, you're walking around, carrying your coat, you get all sweaty, then you go outside and it freezes. I'll take my chances with ISIS.”[LAUGHTER] In fact, all the Republican — hey guys — all the Republican presidential candidates have come out against accepting Syrian refugees and this week in Manilla, the President had some harsh words for them.
PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA: Apparently, they're scared of widows and orphans coming into the United States of America. [SCREEN WIPE] First, they were worried about the press being too tough on them during debates. Now, they're worried about three-year-old orphans.
COLBERT: Now, I don't think the President is being entirely fair here. It’s not the little kids that concern the candidates. It's the a adults who might come also, but since you brought it up, Mr. President, why shouldn't we be scared of three-year-olds? You think you can't negotiate with terrorists? Try negotiating with a three-year-old. They play hardball. [APPALUSE] I mean, you don't buy them the toy in the store, they start yelling, “you're not my dad.” Now, you're running out of a store carrying a toddler yelling, “you're not my dad.” By the way, running makes it look way worse. [LAUGHTER] Besides, not everyone wants to turn away every single refugee.
CHRIS HAYES: Both Ted Cruz and Jeb Bush have suggested in recent days that America should accept Christian refugees from Syria but not Muslims. Cruz explained by saying, “[T]here is no meaningful risk of Christians committing acts of terror.”
COLBERT: That's right, no, no, that’s right. Christians have never committed acts of terror. I'm sure. I'm sure these guys right here are just campers roasting marshmallows, wearing one-man tents. You can tell they’re campers because they’re each wearing one-man tents. And this kind of selective immigration is nothing new. Like the plaque on the Statue of Liberty says: “Give us your tired, your poor, mostly Christians, and maybe one or two Indian guys with engineering degrees.” [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] And, you know, while we're at it, I'm not sure about that big green lady, either. She's wearing a robe, sandals, funny head gear. You know, I think she’s holding a molotov cocktail. No way she'll get through a metal detector. I say we keep her off shore on that island until we know she's cool and Jeb Bush and Ted Cruz say only let in Christians, it’s just because they don't know if they can trust Syrian Muslims, but can relate the Christians. You know, like the Syriac Orthodox, who are basically Methodists. They say Ramsho prayer, read their Aramaic Bibles, and following their leader, Moran Mor Ignatius Aphrem II Prince Patriarch of the Antioch and All the East — or, as I call him, "Golden Snake Santa Pope." Come on, Louisiana. He could be the king of Mardi Gras. Yeah. And some are asking, how you tell Christians from non-Christians, but Jeb Bush has the answer.
UNIDENTIFIED REPORTER: What does this focus on Christian families actually look like?
JEB BUSH: Well, if you're Christian, you can prove you're a Christian.
MSNBC’s KASIE HUNT: How?
BUSH: I think you can prove it.
COLBERT: Yeah, you can prove it. [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] I mean, if you want to know if somebody is Christian, just ask them to complete this sentence: “Jesus said I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you....” and if they don't say “welcomed me in,” they are either a terrorist or they are running for president.
