Daily Show Attacks GOP 'Bull**** Coming Out of Florida'

April 4th, 2023 11:01 AM

Roy Wood Jr. kicked off the correspondents and contributors stretch of The Daily Show temp hosts on Comedy Central on Monday with the unoriginal idea that Republicans are racist, specifically condemning the “bullshit coming out of Florida.”

Talking the indictment of former President Trump, Wood sarcastically applauded the GOP’s reaction to the news, “But as passionate as Republicans are, you got to give them credit. This case is being quarterbacked by a black district attorney and not once have they called him the N-word! That's amazing!”

 

 

Wood proceeded to tell the GOP that, “I am very proud of y'all. You’re very angry about this but at no point have you gone all the way to publicly using the N-word. And that's growth. And I want you to know that I see you and I see your progress and that is just a little pat on the back from your old Uncle Roy.”

That joke was lame when Trevor Noah made it and it isn’t any better now. Still, later in the show, Wood came out of a commercial break and teeing up a pre-recorded segment, declared, “Now, Donald Trump ain't the only bullshit coming out of Florida. Governor Ron DeSantis is making news for his approach to teaching black history, or should I say, less of it. So I made a quick trip down to Florida to find out more.” 

A voiceover of Wood immediately showed how unserious the segment would be, “Last April, Ron DeSantis signed the Stop Woke Act which prohibits education and makes people feel anguish on the account of race, color, sex, or national origin. In other words, it is basically illegal now in Florida to make white people feel bad about slavery.”

As part of the segment, Wood played the role of a teacher, “Hi. I'm Roy Wood Jr. And welcome to the only history class dedicated to the many great contributions of white folks. And therefore, the only class sanctioned by the state of Florida because it makes white people feel good. Welcome to... The Great Whites.”

The first person Wood would focus on was George Washington, “Born in 1732, George Washington led the American Revolution against the British Empire, secured the country's freedom, and then served as a nation's first president. Washington then retired to his beautiful plantation in Virginia with his wife and... Over 300 slaves as part of an economic system built on the subjugation of black people. George Washington also helps create the tradition of presidential term limits. Good work, George Washington.”

Nobody is prohibiting students from learning that George Washington owned slaves.

Other historical figures Wood would highlight included Thomas Edison, “Without his work, we wouldn’t have movies, TV shows, or footage of black people getting beat up by the police like Rodney King” and former Senate candidate Jack Ryan, “During his campaign, it came out that Ryan had bravely asked his wife to perform sexual acts on him in public. The disgraced Jack was forced to step down from the 2004 race, leading to an easy victory for his opponent... Barack Obama, who would go on to become president. And now Bin Laden is dead and millions of people have health care all because of the great Jack Ryan! Where would this country be without his unquenchable horniness. Thank you Jack.”

Wood didn't mention that those were allegations made by Ryan’s ex-wife in divorce records that the Chicago Tribune fought to unseal, highlighting how the media was helping Obama even before he became president.

This segment was sponsored by AT&T.

Here is a transcript for the April 3 show:

Comedy Central The Daily Show

4/3/2023

11:08 PM ET

ROY WOOD JR.: But as passionate as Republicans are, you got to give them credit. This case is being quarterbacked by a black district attorney and not once have they called him the N-word! That's amazing! Excuse me one more sec-- excuse me one second. Hey there. I am very proud of y'all. You’re very angry about this but at no point have you gone all the way to publicly using the N-word. And that's growth. And I want you to know that I see you and I see your progress and that is just a little pat on the back from your old Uncle Roy. 

11:19

WOOD: Now, Donald Trump ain't the only bullshit coming out of Florida. Governor Ron DeSantis is making news for his approach to teaching black history, or should I say, less of it. So I made a quick trip down to Florida to find out more. 

Last April, Ron DeSantis signed the Stop Woke Act which prohibits education and makes people feel anguish on the account of race, color, sex, or national origin. In other words, it is basically illegal now in Florida to make white people feel bad about slavery. 

11:22

WOOD: The idea of doing a class on good white people in history is just too good to resist. 

Hi. I'm Roy Wood Jr. And welcome to the only history class dedicated to the many great contributions of white folks. And therefore, the only class sanctioned by the state of Florida because it makes white people feel good. Welcome to... The Great Whites.

Let's start with the greatest white of all. George Washington. Born in 1732, George Washington led the American Revolution against the British Empire, secured the country's freedom, and then served as a nation's first president. Washington then retired to his beautiful plantation in Virginia with his wife and... Over 300 slaves as part of an economic system built on the subjugation of black people. George Washington also helps create the tradition of presidential term limits. Good work, George Washington. 

One of the other great whites in history that we often don't talk about is a brilliant white man named Thomas Edison. Working out of his lab in Menlo Park, New Jersey, Edison is credited with over a thousand patents in his lifetime. Among those patents he is credited for is the motion picture camera. Without his work, we wouldn’t have movies, TV shows, or footage of black people getting beat up by the police like Rodney King. What's your favorite movie? Mine is Shrek.

Another great white who doesn’t get the credit he deserves is politician Jack Ryan. Jack was a successful investment banker who ran for Senate in Illinois in 2004. During his campaign, it came out that Ryan had bravely asked his wife to perform sexual acts on him in public. The disgraced Jack was forced to step down from the 2004 race, leading to an easy victory for his opponent... Barack Obama, who would go on to become president. And now Bin Laden is dead and millions of people have health care all because of the great Jack Ryan! Where would this country be without his unquenchable horniness. Thank you Jack.