NBC Late Night host Seth Meyers and Comedy Central The Daily Show temp host Kal Penn used their Wednesday shows to condemn what they say is the GOP’s obsession with wokeness. For Meyers, the whole thing is frustrating because of the “incredibly stupid” word games, while Penn thinks wokeness is simply about empathy.
Meyers used his “Closer Look” segment to repeat a claim he has made several times previously, “Anyway, the GOP has no discernible policy agenda aside from whining about wokeness, a term they can't even define. As far as I can tell, wokeness to them just means stuff they don't like. In fact, rather than define the term wokeness for voters, they’ve already moved on to coming up with newer and even dumber words to describe things they don't like.”
Singling out Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, Meyers introduced a clip of DeSantis by claiming that he “was campaigning in Iowa over the weekend. He tried out this incredibly stupid turn of phrase.”
The clip showed DeSantis arguing that wokeness needs to be fought whether “we see it in medicine or the universities or the corporations” because otherwise “then we're going to be living under an oppressive wokeocracy.”
Meyers proceeded to do a Donald Trump impression where he failed to correctly pronounce “wokeocracy” before turning to DeSantis’s interview with Fox’s Brian Kilmeade, “DeSantis's obsession with battling wokeness has made him a subject of fawning profiles and softball interviews on Fox News. On Monday, he did an interview with fox host Brian Kilmeade where they had a catch at a baseball field.”
Late night hosts should not be criticizing other people for doing softball interviews. As it was, Meyers mocked the duo, "Oh, someone get a radar gun on those guys. Somehow during the course of that interview, three runners scored. This interview is the worst thing to happen on a baseball field since Randy Johnson exploded that bird… If it had been DeSantis throwing instead of Randy, that bird would have been fine, light bruising at best.”
Meyers is apparently shocked that a Hall of Fame pitcher throwing at game speed threw harder than someone playing a casual game of catch. He also further insulted the duo by referring to them as “Opie and Sheriff Taylor” and specifically referring to Kilmeade as Fox’s “saddest button-eyed bozo.”
Over at The Daily Show, Penn reprised his role as Dr. Lawrence Kutner from House where he told a patient he might have “the Woke Mind Virus, but we have to ask you a few questions to confirm.”
The first question Penn asked was “Are you pissed off that Mr. Potato Head doesn’t have a penis?”
After the patient answer “no” and “who gives a shit?” Penn continued with the premise that it is no big deal if girls have to compete against boys, “There’s a trans swimmer at the local eighth grade meet. That sound fair to you?” Following the patient claiming he didn’t care, Penn torched a straw man, “Okay, last question. Does racism still exist?”
The patient replied “yes,” but no Republican has denied racism exists, it is the claim of systemic racism as if it is still 1954 or The 1619 Project’s version of history that is objected to.
Further questioning of the patient included “Do you agree that drag shows are a greater threat than school shootings?” to which the patient answered “No, of course not! And I don't have any woke mind virus either, I'm just trying to be an empathetic person.”
After the patient was giving some Woke Mind Virus treatment, Penn asked him for his pronouns which the “cured” patient replied with “My pronouns are kiss my ass.”
On one hand, Meyers thinks conservatives can’t define wokeness, but on the other Penn thinks it means just being a good person, but Meyers won't spend several minutes denouncing liberal word games.
Late Night was sponsored by Red Lobster and The Daily Show was sponsored by AT&T.
Here is a transcript for the March 15-taped shows:
NBC's Late Night with Seth Meyers
03/16/2023
12:44 AM ETSETH MEYERS: Anyway, the GOP has no discernible policy agenda aside from whining about wokeness, a term they can't even define. As far as I can tell, wokeness to them just means stuff they don't like. In fact, rather than define the term wokeness for voters, they’ve already moved on to coming up with newer and even dumber words to describe things they don't like.
Ron DeSantis was campaigning in Iowa over the weekend. He tried out this incredibly stupid turn of phrase.
RON DESANTIS: Because woke ideology has infected so many institutions, if you really want to protect the freedom of your folks, you've got to be willing to defend them against the left imposing their pathologies on your people in any of these institutions. So we've got to fight if we see it in medicine or the universities or the corporations. You can't just say let it go because then we're going to be living under an oppressive wokeocracy.
MEYERS: Oof, well, that just rolls off the tongue. Wokeocracy. pretty sure saying that gives you strep throat. The only way this makes sense is if it's a ploy by DeSantis to come up with a new word that such a mouthful Donald Trump can't pronounce it and then melts down in a debate "You know Ron, he likes to talk about the woke-a-crocky. I mean, the walk-a-crazy. I mean, the walk-a-coco-a-crazy-shaka. Look, folks, we're living in Wakanda. We have to admit it. We're living in Wakanda, and if we're not careful, it's going to be Wakanda Forever."
DeSantis's obsession with battling wokeness has made him a subject of fawning profiles and softball interviews on Fox News. On Monday, he did an interview with fox host Brian Kilmeade where they had a catch at a baseball field.
BRIAN KILMEADE: We're on a baseball field, you’ve had a busy day but you wanted to come to this field because it means so much to you, obviously. Even though I'm a soccer player, do you have time for a catch?
DESANTIS: Let's do it. I’ll do it. Yup. Alright.
KILMEADE: Let’s do it.
[FOX CUT]
If not this time, to run for president, would you think at some time, it's safe to say that’d be one of your goals?
DESANTIS: I would only -- I would only do stuff if I thought there was a rationale for me to accomplish things on behalf of the people so it's all substance driven about whether I could serve or not serve in a variety of capacities.
MEYERS: Oh, someone get a radar gun on those guys. Somehow during the course of that interview, three runners scored. This interview is the worst thing to happen on a baseball field since Randy Johnson exploded that bird.
If it had been DeSantis throwing instead of Randy, that bird would have been fine, light bruising at best and look, I know that clip is kind of a bummer and so if it helps, that bird would have died of old age by now anyway.
I said if it helped, but, yes it's great to see Opie and Sheriff Taylor over here enjoying the old American tradition that fathers and sons engaged in for decades, putting on your suits and lapel mics for a game of catch in front of a camera crew.
Also, of course, Fox picked their saddest button-eyed bozo Brian Kilmeade to have a catch with a politician. Kilmeade has probably been dreaming about this. I would have loved to have seen the pre-interview. "All right, we're just going to toss the ball back and forth and I'll ask you about wokeness, and one more thing, is it okay if I call you dad?"
***
Comedy Central's The Daily Show
03/15/2023
11:15 PM ETPATIENT: So I actually feel fine. Am I okay to leave now?
HUGH LAURIE [AS DR. GREGORY HOUSE]: Not quite. Your brain’s been swollen. Going to have to see if--devolved into your personality.
KAL PENN [AS DR. LAWRENCE KUTNER]: I’m so sorry. We believe it is the woke mind virus, but we have to ask you a few questions to confirm. Are you pissed off that Mr. Potato Head doesn’t have a penis?
PATIENT: No, who—who-- gives a shit?
PENN/KUTNER: There’s a trans swimmer at the local eighth grade meet. That sound fair to you?
PATIENT: I don't care. How does this diagnosis me?
PENN/KUTNER: Okay, last question. Does racism still exist?
PATIENT: Yes.
PENN/KUTNER: He could start saying Latinx any minute.
PATIENT: I’m sorry, what is going on here?
PENN/KUTNER: This is the greatest threat facing civilization. The great Doctor Elon Musk said so.
PATIENT: But, I’m not sick although this nonsense is kind of giving me a headache.
PENN/KUTNER: Mr. Morgenthal, I know that you don't feel like you have this.
LAURIE/HOUSE: Morgenthal. That’s one of them Jew names.
PATIENT: What the [bleep]?
PENN/KUTNER: Let me ask you this. Do you agree that drag shows are a greater threat than school shootings?
PATIENT: No, of course not! And I don't have any woke mind virus either, I'm just trying to be an empathetic person.
PENN/KUTNER: Okay, we’re losing him! We need to get you to a CRT scan.
PATIENT: Don't you mean a CT scan?
PENN/KUTNER: No.
PATIENT: You know what? I’m going to check myself out.
LAURIE/HOUSE: Knock him out.
PATIENT: Okay.
What? What happened? Am I okay?
PENN/KUTNER: Let's find out. What are your pronouns?
PATIENT: My Pronouns? My pronouns? My pronouns are kiss my ass.
PENN/KUTNER: Yeah. You are going to be okay. Although you do have lupus. I probably should’ve led with that.
PATIENT: Oh, no.
