If you were sitting there wondering how a country that produced John Wayne, Charlton Heston, and Chuck Norris could, in the space of only a few generations, also produce the man-bun, the V-neck t-shirt, and Zac Efron, I think I’ve found the answer.
In their infinite wisdom, the Wisconsin Interscholastic Athletic Association (WIAA) decided to make sports considerably less fun, while contributing mightily to the wussifying of America.
According to The Sporting News, fans are no longer allowed to shout at opposing players, using such harmful and hurtful phrases as:
— "Fundamentals"
— "Season's over"
— "Sieve"
— "There's a net there"
— "We can't hear you"
— "You can't do that"
In fact, the WIAA is so serious about their insanely awful plan that they’ve resorted to drastic measures:
“…Hilbert High School basketball player April Gehl received a five-game suspension for a profane tweet in which she criticized the WIAA for the new guidelines…”
The email that prompted Gehl’s profanity-laced, yet awesome tweet was this directive issued by the WIAA:
“As we reviewed the fall tournaments and the sportsmanship evaluations and observations, we want to address concerns with a noticeable increase in the amount of chants by student sections directed at opponents and/or opponents’ supporters that are clearly intended to taunt or disrespect.
“Not wanting to restrict creativity or enjoyment, an enthusiastic and boisterous display of support for a school’s team is welcomed and encouraged at interscholastic events when directed in a positive manner. However, any action directed at opposing teams or their spectators with the intent to taunt, disrespect, distract or entice an unsporting behavior in response in not acceptable sportsmanship. Student groups, school administrators and event managers should take immediate steps to correct this unsporting behavior.”
I’ve got a cheer/jeer for the WIAA to ban:
“Get a Life.”
