We’ve come a long way from the days of classic sitcoms where conundrums consisted of Lucy drinking too much Vitameatavegamin in I Love Lucy or Peter being afraid to defend his little sister Cindy from a bully on The Brady Bunch.
These days, quandaries are over a female college student’s “spank bank” being “overdrawn,” and young women debating about the best kind of porn (search “woke girl gets pounded,” one of them advises), as was the case on Wednesday’s episode of Freeform’s grown-ish, “Big Drip.” The lesbian in the group suggests “farm-to-table…hardcore, feminist, POC action made by and for women,” then laments that “straight people are a disease” when another girl suggests watching Magic Mike.
Meanwhile, another character, Aaron (Trevor Jackson), makes a jab at Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas and later partners with a former Black Lives Matter (BLM) employee to make change within the Metaverse corporation, which is somehow too conservative for Aaron.
Aaron has always been the wokest and most racist character on the show, once claiming white people are inherently bad. This week, he jokes about the FBI coming for him because he tweeted about “punching Clarence Thomas in the throat,” all in good humor of course (#eyeroll). In reality, the woman before him, Symone (Kianna Simone), is in charge of panels for Diversity and Inclusion at Metaverse and is interested in recruiting Aaron after his last speech at headquarters “sent shockwaves through the company":
Symone: Aaron W. Jackson. You're a hard man to track down.
Aaron: Oh, shit, are you -- are you from the FBI? Okay, listen, I swear to you that the tweet I posted about punching Clarence Thomas in the throat, it was a joke.
Symone: Uh-huh. Symone Andrews. I run our panels for Diversity and Inclusion at Metaverse, and your speech at headquarters last month really sent shockwaves through the company.
Aaron: Thank you. So, you came all the way from Seattle to give me a compliment?
Symone: No, no, no. I'm here because I'd like to put you on another panel, but you stopped responding to everyone's e-mails. I mean, I'm starting to take this personally.
Aaron: Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm just not interested.
Symone: Okay, why?
Aaron: Well, because the company that you work for builds profits off the backs of working-class people while also donating to political candidates who essentially are destroying this country.
Symone: Okay. Well, the school you work for literally built its profits off the backs of inmates at San Quentin, so...
Aaron: Right. Well, that's why -- I mean, I organized the orange jumpsuit demonstration.
Symone: Yeah, but you still took the job here. Because just like me, you realize that the best way to effect change is from the inside. So, how about this? Meet me here tomorrow, and if what I have to show you doesn't change your mind, then I promise I'll stop stalking you.
Aaron: Yeah. Hmm.
Assuming this fictional company is supposed to be like Facebook/Meta, you know Aaron is extremely far left if he considers them too conservative. But he takes Symone up on her offer and ends up being pleasantly surprised to learn she used to work for BLM:
Aaron: Can you believe that? Can't believe we fed -- what? -- like ninety-- 98 families today.
Symone: I mean, it would've been 99, but that vegan family caught us slipping.
Aaron: Man, I haven't done stuff like this since my mom used to make me volunteer at the women's center every time I left the toilet seat up.
Symone: You know everything we did today came from Metaverse Corporate Responsibility.
Aaron: Oh, did it? Metaverse?
Symone: Yeah, yeah. Look, I just wanted you to see that there's many ways to make change.
Aaron: I mean, sure, but come on, this cost the company less than one private jet, and they only do it to look good so that people will pipe down about the billions of dollars that they are dodging in taxes every year.
Symone: You're right, you're right. But, um, what feels better? Being right or helping people, huh?
Aaron: It's not like that.
Symone: Okay, let me just tell you how I used to feel. I was working for Black Lives Matter and eventually –
Aaron: Wait, wait, wait, what? You -- You worked for Black Lives Matter?
Symone: Yeah. I used to work with the Kansas City chapter. I mean, after Ferguson, I knew I had to take action, so…
Aaron: Uh, no offense. You don't look like the type to hold a megaphone.
Symone: Oh, whoa, okay, don't let the high heels fool you. I get down.
Aaron: Oh, you get down?
Symone: Yes.
Aaron: Alright. Okay, so let me get this straight. You -- You left BLM, Black Lives Matter...
Symone: Mm-hmm.
Aaron: …to go to Metaverse?
Symone: Yeah.
Aaron: Why?
Symone: Because I found a way to use this company's massive name and resources to actually do something good.
Aaron: Hmm. Okay. I guess we actually have more in common than I thought.
Symone: Exactly. Which is why I wanted to bring you on to our team to do a series of talks with our C-level executives. I mean, they need to understand that diversity can improve not only our communities but our profit margins, too, you know?
Aaron: Yes, yes, I hear you, I totally hear you, but I just -- I don't –
Symone: Hey, hey, okay. Look, I really respect you, which is why I want to work together, but I don't want you to do anything that you're not comfortable with, so how about you think about it? For me. Hmm?
Aaron: Okay. Okay. I'll think about it for you.
Aaron later texts Symone that he’s ready to join her. But, riddle me this. Why is Aaron concerned about a corporation paying fewer taxes but makes no mention of the many illegal financial scandals that BLM has been drowning in? #MakeItMakeSense
In another storyline, seeing a young college girl in bed with a large vibrator trying to reach orgasm unsuccessfully is as cringey as you can imagine. But that’s where grown-ish went as Annika (Justine Skye) complains to her friends that her “spank bank is overdrawn,” and wonders, “Maybe my vagina’s broken.”
This leads to a conversation about feminist porn versus traditional, advice to search, “Woke girl gets pounded,” and a lesbian lamenting, “Straight people are a disease":
Lauryn: Hey. Oh, what's up with you? Okay, damn.
Annika: I am so frustrated. Nothing is working. I've tried everything, but I think my spank bank is overdrawn.
Lauryn: Well, maybe you need a new visual aid. I find the Old Spice commercials or Jake from State Farm really do the trick.
Kiela: Okay, stop. Khakis? No, what she needs is porn. Hear me clearly. Smutpile dot net, okay? Search "Woke girl gets pounded."
Lauryn: Oh, my God. Sometimes I wonder if I should've gone to a Christian university.
Zaara: Okay, I'm not a porcelain doll like Lauryn, but that shook me. It's categories like that that make me not want to watch porn in the first place. Most of it is just a misogynist haunted house.
Kiela: I don't need my fantasies to be politically correct. It's just...you know, it's called role play for a reason. You watch something nasty. It's like junk food.
Zaara: But it doesn't have to be. You could go farm-to-table with it. If you're willing to pay, there's a lot of really awesome stuff out there -- hard-core, feminist, POC action made by and for women.
Annika: I'm an ally, but no thanks. Still, I need to figure this out because I am dangerously close to hooking up with a random guy just to get off. No, Lon.
Zaara: Forget Lon. You just need to find what works for you.
Annika: I don't know what the problem is. Maybe my vagina's broken.
Lauryn: Maybe it's not your vagina. Maybe it's your heart. They are two sides of the same coin.
Annika: You know what (bleep) it? [Bleep] It. Kiela, what's the name of that website that you were talking about? Smutpile dot com?
Kiela: No, no, no, no, it's Smutpile dot net. You do not want to go to Smutpile dot com. It's just -- That place gets dark, so...
Lauryn: Well, you know what always works for me? The basic-cable version of Magic Mike.
Zaara: Straight people are a disease.
Actually, this show is a disease, especially to the minds of its young adult viewers. The only cure is it being canceled, but it's unfortunately been renewed early for a sixth season, despite poor ratings for the current one.
Conservatives Fight Back! This episode was sponsored by Verizon, Maybelline and Olive Garden. Click each advertiser for their contact information so you can let them know how you feel about them sponsoring anti-white racism.
