Get Woke, Go Broke! HBO Max’s Porny, Leftist 'Gossip Girl' Reboot Gets Axed

January 30th, 2023 1:55 AM

The debaucherous, pornographic and exploitative drama Gossip Girl returned for its second season to continue poisoning the minds of its teen viewers, but thankfully the show has gotten the axe from HBO Max. (Get woke, go broke!) However, it left us with ten episodes of explicit sex, drugs, and woke SJW politics aired to an impressionable, underage audience before departing, though.

Even Vulture, an obvious fan of the show, referred to a sex tape made of one character, as “child porn.” Where’s the outrage over these young characters being sexualized and shown pornographically in the first place?

Just as a reminder, show creator Joshua Safran openly admitted he wants to “explore character through sex,” and proudly proclaimed, “It's Hot Girl and Gay Slut Summer for everybody. For these kids, it's the same thing — and you want that.” No, we most certainly do not want that.

But that’s exactly what we got once again with season two, along with the woke agenda. Right from the first episode, “Deb Brawl in a Blue Dress,” one character bemoans her sister thinking debutante balls have “moved into the 21st century.” Her friend replies, “You know what else moved into the 21st century? White supremacy. Religious exemptions. Amy Coney Barrett.”

The infamous underage throuple (Max is now 18, but Aki and Audrey remain minors) that Safran proudly featured giving a “rim job” last season have returned, as well, and were a central focus throughout the season. Audrey (Emily Alyn Lind), Aki (Evan Mock) and Max (Thomas Doherty) were trying to keep their relationship a secret at first.

In episode 2, “Guess Who’s Coming at Dinner,” Roy (John Benjamin Hickey) and Gideon (Todd Gideon), Max’s two dads, host a dinner for a wealthy, conservative acquaintance named Iris (Lois Smith) who Roy is hoping to win over to secure a job renovating Gramercy Park. Chaos ensues because Max is having an almost orgy upstairs to prove he’s not in a committed relationship.

Max tries to stall the three would-be lovers as he waits for Aki and Audrey to come to his rescue. (Warning: Graphic)

Aki and Audrey are stuck downstairs at the dinner table, and Max’s drug dealer attempts to deliver his drugs there, as well. Then a large, wooden dildo that had been hidden falls down the stairs, and Max’s would-be orgy mates rush downstairs half-naked out of frustration, all for Iris to witness.

But, it’s Iris who's put to shame after being given a woke lecture by Roy:

After the throuple officially comes out, Max loses his social standing.

In episode 3, “Great Reputations,” fellow student Luna (Zion Moreno) tells him, “Your cachet’s based on everyone’s desire to f*ck you. Now that you’ve gone from Elite to Baby-Sitters Club, you might as well have moved to Austin.” Baby-Sitters Club? I mean, they seriously flaunt that these are children without any shame whatsoever!

As the friends prepare to attend an event at the Guggenheim Museum, Obie (Eli Brown) talks about wanting to impress his conservative girlfriend Grace’s (Anna Van Patten) mom, who is a Republican Senator from Virginia.  

“I’d be more nervous you won’t like her," Akie replies. "Charlotte Byron makes the Tea Party look like…well, uh, a tea party. Didn’t she campaign for Trump?”

Protestors show up to greet Senator Byron at the event, and when Obie asks if it’s always like this, Grace’s brother Jake (Zander Pacella) answers, “Occupational hazard given our mom’s unpopular stances on refugees’ rights among the liberals.” One protestor spits on Byron and later states he’s against, “capitalism, corporate greed, and immigration policies that make Donald Trump look like the Dalai Lama.”

Obie does his best to keep his friends’ behavior in check. But thanks to Max passing out drugs to everyone, their antics get out of hand and embarrass the senator, although it’s portrayed as fun, rebellious and cute as the underage minors huddle close together while barely able to walk a straight line as laughter fills the air.

In episode 4, “One Flew Over the Cuck’s Nest,” it’s publicly revealed that Grace is having a secret “twincest” affair with Jake, much to Byron’s public disgrace. In the same episode, a conservative dad is suspected of having an affair, but it turns out the secret mistress is for his equally conservative wife and he’s an approving cuck, because of course.

Meanwhile, Max and Audrey suspect Aki is cheating on them, so they spy and catch him purchasing PrEP and sex toys with a mysterious man. It all ends up being a misunderstanding, because Aki was getting advice from his friend on how to practice becoming a bottom knowing it meant so much to Max:

If all that wasn't enough, this was followed by a shockingly graphic sex scene - again, because it really can’t be said enough, with child characters for a child audience.

Meanwhile the student with the sex tape scandal, Zoya (Whitney Peak), did a Google search for Plan B after her sexual encounter. As episode 6, “How to Bury a Millionaire” opens to a vow renewal ceremony for Max’s dads, Gossip Girl points out something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. The blue ends up being the writing on the door of Planned Parenthood after Zoya is seen leaving the abortion facility with a Plan B kit in hand:

Fortunately, Safran announced Gossip Girl has been axed from HBO Max. “And No One is Surprised,” read a headline from Evie Magazine. Safran did hint that it he may be shopping the show to other outlets. For the sake of every vulnerable teen viewer who might be influenced to follow in the footsteps of Gossip Girl’s depraved characters, let’s hope no one is interested in his smut.