Former senator and current Comedy Central The Daily Show temp host Al Franken lamented on Tuesday’s show that his jokes will not convince people to give up fossil fuels and save the planet because “we're in for a grim future” on climate change.
After a montage of news clips on the U.N.’s latest bit of Doomsday prophesizing, Franken declared “Now, part of the problem is, the U.N.'s expectation of collective action, it's easy to shirk your part when everybody has to chip in. So the solution here is to call out people individually.”
For Franken “the solution here is to call out people individually. The next U.N. report shouldn't say, ‘We all must lower our emissions,’ it should say, ‘Gary, stop driving your car so much! You don't need to visit your wife's grave every day, she's not keeping track!’” because “The fact is, on our current path, we're in for a grim future. And to find out just how grim, let's go to the future to talk to Desi Lydic.”
Purporting to be from 2075, Lydic was asked by Franken, “Desi, I'm afraid to ask, but how is the climate crisis going 60 years from now?”
Sixty years from now would be in the 2080s, not 2070s, but bad math aside Lydic reported “Climate crisis? Oh, we solved that years ago! Look! The entire world looks like a Lisa Frank folder.”
A stunned Franken wondered how that was possible to which Lydic reported back that “Well, it started when the U.N. issued its report on March 20, 2023, warning that we had to radically reduce carbon emissions by 2040. So, we read the report and we made all the changes and saved the world! Back to you, Al.”
When Franken asked if it was expensive, Lydic suggested money was no big deal, “Oh yeah, it definitely was. But the alternative was the destruction of the planet, so of course, we just spent the money! Obviously! Back to you, Al.”
This could’ve been an interesting satire on the unrealistic expectations of environmentalists, but this alternative reality would soon come back to the real world. Lydic added that, “We re-forested the Amazon. We got all the plastic out of the ocean and upcycled it into friendship bracelets that we all wear, unironically! Plus, all the children in the world joined hands and sang in a harmony so beautifully, it ended war forever.”
After Franken voiced his amazement, “Wow, holy crap! Really? All that happens?” Lydic broke character “Oh, my god, no! You dumb dumb! I'm being sarcastic! You think that for some reason, we are going to suddenly start listening to U.N. climate reports? No! Al, I'm not from the future. This is all fake. I am literally in the same room as you right now!”
Continuing to mourn the future, Lydic added, “Yeah, I hate to say it, but we're gonna keep driving Ford Expeditions and burning fossil fuels until the ocean swallows us whole.”
Franken then lamented that this sketch probably won’t affect anyone’s behavior, “Well, I guess you are right, Desi. And, you know, that's our satirical point. If only satire had the power to change the future for the better.”
Lydic then tried to cheer him up, “Yeah, well, Al, the good news is there's still a chance that our sharp-witted satire will inspire people to make the necessary changes to save our planet.”
After Franken briefly regained his optimism, Lydic crashed his hopes and dreams once again, “No! Oh, my god! I'm being sarcastic! Jesus Christ, were you really a senator?”
There is a good reason nobody reads U.N. climate reports. Perhaps The Daily Show could satirize that instead.
This segment was sponsored by Michelob.
Here is a transcript for the March 21 show:
Comedy Central The Daily Show
3/21/2023
11:07 PM ET
AL FRANKEN: Wow. That's awful, but I guess a shout out to my baby boomers, feels like we got the last chopper out of Saigon, doesn't it? And that's a reference we Baby Boomers understand. Now, part of the problem is, the U.N.'s expectation of collective action, it's easy to shirk your part when everybody has to chip in. So the solution here is to call out people individually. The next U.N. report shouldn't say, "We all must lower our emissions," it should say, "Gary, stop driving your car so much! You don't need to visit your wife's grave every day, she's not keeping track!"
The fact is, on our current path, we're in for a grim future. And to find out just how grim, let's go to the future to talk to Desi Lydic.
DESI LYDIC: Hi, Al, yes, I am reporting from the year 2075. Can you believe it? This face is 93. Take that, Paul Rudd.
FRANKEN: Desi, I'm afraid to ask, but how is the climate crisis going 60 years from now?
LYDIC: Climate crisis? Oh, we solved that years ago! Look! The entire world looks like a Lisa Frank folder.
FRANKEN: Well, hold on. We fixed climate change? How did that happen?
LYDIC: Well, it started when the U.N. issued its report on March 20, 2023, warning that we had to radically reduce carbon emissions by 2040. So, we read the report and we made all the changes and saved the world! Back to you, Al!
FRANKEN: Wait, Desi. You're talking about the report from yesterday?
LYDIC: Yeah, yeah, it laid out exactly what we needed to do so everybody came together and did it. Why wouldn't we?
FRANKEN: Wasn't doing all that really expensive?
LYDIC: Oh yeah, it definitely was. But the alternative was the destruction of the planet, so of course, we just spent the money! Obviously! Back to you, Al.
FRANKEN: I can't believe it, everything sounds so great in the future.
LYDIC: Oh, it sure is! Oh, hi, little guy.
FRANKEN: A grassland sparrow? I thought those were going extinct.
LYDIC: Oh, they were, but we turned it around! We re-forested the Amazon. We got all the plastic out of the ocean and upcycled it into friendship bracelets that we all wear, unironically! Plus, all the children in the world joined hands and sang in a harmony so beautifully, it ended war forever.
FRANKEN: Wow, holy crap! Really? All that happens?
LYDIC: Oh, my god, no! You dumb dumb! I'm being sarcastic! You think that for some reason, we are going to suddenly start listening to U.N. climate reports? No! Al, I'm not from the future. This is all fake. I am literally in the same room as you right now!
FRANKEN: I'm so stupid. I just didn't realize that.
LYDIC: Yeah, I hate to say it, but we're gonna keep driving Ford Expeditions and burning fossil fuels until the ocean swallows us whole.
FRANKEN: Well, I guess you are right, Desi. And, you know, that's our satirical point. If only satire had the power to change the future for the better.
LYDIC: Yeah, well, Al, the good news is there's still a chance that our sharp-witted satire will inspire people to make the necessary changes to save our planet.
FRANKEN: Wow, really?
LYDIC: No! Oh, my god! I'm being sarcastic! Jesus Christ, were you really a senator?
FRANKEN: Yes. Yes, I was. Desi Lydic, everyone.
