In a disgustingly gushy interview on CBS’s The Late Show, former FBI Director James Comey admitted that no one went to investigate the Ritz-Carlton Moscow hotel room where the Steele dossier alleged President Trump paid for the services of prostitutes. But host Stephen Colbert apparently did and begged the former investigator to ask him about it. “Is it big enough for the -- a germophobe to be at a safe distance from the activity,” he obliged.
“The bedroom is very long, very long. You could definitely be out of at what we call at Sea World, ‘the splash zone.’ Okay,” the raunchy late night host declared. And this was only one of many ridiculous moments during the not-so-tough interview.
Immediately after Comey stepped out onto the stage, the escapades began. “Before we get started, you've done a lot of interviews. I do a lot of interviews. I just want you to know, I need loyalty. I expect loyalty. Can you give me that,” Colbert asked, mocking the President. “Eat your shrimp scampi,” Comey told him.
To recreate Comey’s trip home after being fired, Colbert busted out the pinot noir and paper cups and made a toast to “the truth.” This led to a series of questions where he would ask Comey about the Trump White House being run like a crime family. “If you felt like you were working for a mob boss, were you surprised that you got whacked? Because that's what they do,” he joked.
After Colbert read some Trump’s tweets slamming the former FBI Director, Comey joked that Trump was a like a jaded lover:
He's tweeted at me probably 50 times. I've been gone for a year. I’m like a breakup he can't get over. He wakes up in the morning-- ( cheers and applause ) I'm out there-- I'm out there living my best life. He wakes up in the morning and tweets at me.
Colbert went on to defend Comey’s book from critics that point to the bitter physical description of the President as evidence the book was tainted. “It is one paragraph on page 217 into 218. It's probably six sentences,” Colbert explained as he ripped the pages out of his copy. “There's another 160 pages in here that are pretty good and pretty gripping.”
The only time Colbert got serious was when he was grilling Comey from the left about his actions regarding the Hillary Clinton e-mail investigation. The CBS host didn’t believe Comey when he argued he had no good choice between speaking about the reopening of the case and concealing it. “Conceal naturally has a pejorative to it, it's speak or standard discretion of the FBI. It's not the same thing as concealing,” Colbert argued.
But the interview appeared to end in a way that would make Colbert happy. Because in wrapping up the interview, Comey described Trump as a devastating forest fire that would allow things to grow. But his example of that positive growth was the anti-gun Parkland students. “Forest fires allow things to grow that couldn't grow before. I see kids getting energized. It's inspiring to see kids in the wake of Parkland out there getting involved,” he opined.
All told, the interview very much had a higher loyalty to attacking the President.
The relevant portions of the transcript are below: click "expand" to read:
CBS's The Late Show
April 17, 2018
11:52:18 PM EasternSTEPHEN COLBERT: Sir, thanks for being here.
JAMES COMEY: It's great to be here. Thanks for having me.
COLBERT: Before we get started, you've done a lot of interviews. I do a lot of interviews. I just want you to know, I need loyalty. ( Laughter ) I expect loyalty. Can you give me that?
COMEY: Eat your shrimp scampi.
COLBERT: Was that over dinner?
COMEY: Yes, it was over dinner.
COLBERT: All right. Well, all I ask from you is honesty tonight. I know that when you were fired, you say in the book, when it was over, you flew back on a plane to the east coast, drinking pinot noir out of a paper cup, so I thought maybe we could recreate that happy moment for you right now. ( Cheers and applause ) There you go. To the truth.
COMEY: Yes, to the truth.
(…)
COLBERT: You can see-- you're a prosecutor. You're not just telling a story. You're laying out a case for your actions regarding Hillary Clinton and her investigation, and your run-ins with Donald Trump. It's a-- it's an indictment of Donald Trump in describing what an ethical leader is. Do you think that he has – I know you don’t like the man, but do you think he has an opportunity still to be an ethical leader? Can he turn his presidency around if your eyes?
COMEY: I think it would be very hard given the way he is as a person. He doesn't seem to be somebody who has external reference points his life. Ethical leaders make hardest decisions by looking to some reference points.
(…)
COLBERT: Describe him as being-- or the people around him, as having a mob, or a Cosa Nostra quality. What is it about him and the people around him that feels like the mob, which you prosecuted, to you?
(…)
COLBERT: If you felt like you were working for a mob boss, were you surprised that you got whacked? ( Laughter ) Because that's what they do.
COMEY: I actually was quite surprised because I thought I'm leading the Russia investigation. Even though our relationship was becoming strained, there's no way I'm going to get fired or whacked.
(…)
COLBERT: The president has said some kind of fun things about you. He has called you in the last few days, he has called you "Slippery Jim." And he has called you a "Slimeball." Anything to say back?
COMEY: No. He's tweeted at me probably 50 times. I've been gone for a year. I’m like a breakup he can't get over. He wakes up in the morning-- ( cheers and applause ) I'm out there-- I'm out there living my best life. He wakes up in the morning and tweets at me.
(…)
COLBERT: Well, you-- he's not the only one who has called you names. Chris Wallace, talking about your book, called you "Bitchy" because he was surprised about the-- you were talking about President Trump's hair and his hand size and the fact that he looks so, sort of Orange, when you see him. Why did you include that?
COMEY: Because I'm trying to be an author. ( Laughter ) And I'm sitting there typing, and I can hear my editor saying, "Bring the reader with you. Show the reader that room."
(…)
COLBERT: Are you surprised how much attention just that part of it has gotten? Because I want to point out to everybody out there-- People I know and respect or are interested in book have said, "I don't know, it seems a little tawdry, the hair and the hands." It is one paragraph on page 217 into 218. It's probably six sentences. Okay. [Rips pages out] Now it's out of the book. There's another 160 pages in here that are pretty good and pretty gripping. Why do you think people are focusing just on that?
COMEY: Because they haven't read the book, and they're looking to criticize the book and me, and so they're looking for a handhold. And that was an easy handhold. To my mind it's a silly handhold, but it's something people grab on to and they can on of go on TV and talk about and haven't done what you have done, which is actually reading it.
(…)
12:20:11 AM Eastern
COLBERT: Let's keep on going. Because, look, I want to be delicate here, but he looks like a microwave circus peanut that someone rubbed on a golden retriever. By the way, I went to that room-- just so you know, the people out there know-- I went to that room. I stayed at the Ritz-Carlton Moscow. We rented that room. Which is really all you need to do. Now, you're an investigator, did anyone from your office ever go to that hotel and look at that room?
COMEY: Not while I was director.
COLBERT: I don’t know if anyone from the press—You’re an investigator, would you like to ask me anything of the room? Ask me anything about that room.
COMEY: Is it big enough for the-- a germophobe to be at a safe distance from the activity?
COLBERT: The bedroom is very long, very long. You could definitely be out of at what we call at Sea World, "the splash zone." Okay?
(…)
