ABC’s The Middle sure had some hilarious scenes this week as a liberal loudmouthed environmentalist got put in his place.
Tuesday's episode “True Grit” shows Sue Heck (Eden Sher) can no longer stand her loser liberal boyfriend Jeremy (Will Green) and his environmentalist rants. She attempts to break-up with him based off the advice her brother Axl (Charlie McDermott) provides: be a jerk. This does not go well.
Jeremy: Hey, where you been? I've been texting you all morning. Did you forget to set the alarm to get up and save our dying planet?
Sue: Nah, I got your texts. Just got, uh, other things to do. You know, been busy, doesn't matter. Whatevs.
Jeremy: Okay. Well, at least you're here now. Why don't you hand out these pamphlets.
Sue:I -- [ Scoffs ]
Jeremy: The sea ice in the Arctic Circle is melting! Sign our petition to protect the polar bears!
Sue: I don't know. Polar bears are kind of overrated. Do they really need our help? I went to a zoo once, and they seemed fine.
Jeremy: The polar bears are dying because of man's endless thirst for oil.
Sue: Yeah, but if you're on a long road trip and you need a place to go inside and pee, where are you gonna go if you don't have a gas station? So thank you, oil.
Jeremy: Big corporations are pillaging Mother Earth.
Sue: But don't big corporations always have our best interests at heart?
Jeremy: No, they don't. They support child labor.
Sue: Keeps the kids off their phones, am I right?
Jeremy: Sue, what's going on?
Sue: Guess I'm just a big, giant jerk.
Jeremy: No, no, no, no, no. You're just still working out some meat toxins from your system. Yeah, that's right. I saw you eating bacon at breakfast yesterday.
Sue: O-okay, okay. Jeremy -- Okay. Don't you feel like lately, I don't know, we're just... In different places?
Jeremy: Hey, hey, we're not in different places. We're right here on a journey...together.
Sue: Okay. But don't you feel like, I don't know, lately, it's gotten kind of hard? [ Scoffs ]
Jeremy: Changing the world is hard, Sue. We're not quitting on the Earth when she needs us the most, and I'm not quitting on us. You're not quitting on me, are you, Sue?
Sue: No.Jeremy: Okay, then. Hey, you! Hey, fashion slave!
Despite her initial failure at the break-up, she enlists help to have others tell Jeremy she’s sick of his antics. Axl tries, but fails. She then sends her a capella group, who also let her down.
Finally, Sue snaps and decides to dig her heels in and weed out Jeremy from her life.
Jeremy: Oh, hey. Sue, glad you're here. I'm chaining myself to the administration building. I need you to hold my pee bottle.
Sue: Uh...what? No. You hold your own pee bottle. I have something to say, and I need you to listen.
Jeremy: Sue, you can wait. The Earth can't.
Sue: Stop it. Jeremy, no. For once, you are going to stay and listen to me.
Jeremy: Sue, what are you do—
Sue: Jeremy... I think we should stop seeing each other.
Jeremy: Wow, this came out of nowhere.
Sue: Are you serious? I sent my brother. I sent my no-cut a cappella group to sing "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together."
Jeremy: They sang "Chattanooga Choo Choo."
Sue: Ugh, Landis. Mnh. Always pushing his own agenda. He's got a solo in that one.
Jeremy: He shouldn’t. Look -- Look, Sue, we can't break up. We're a team. Me, the fierce, tireless, natural-born leader, and you -- the natural-born follower.
Sue: What? You think I'm a follower?
Jeremy: Sue, babe, I didn't mean follower as a bad thing. I just meant that I have all this great knowledge. I'm the person out there on the front lines changing the world, and you're like this sponge that soaks up everything I say.
Sue: I am not a sponge. I have grit. Sponges do not have grit. Okay, some sponges have grit, like the ones with the pot-scoury side, but that's not the point. The point is you think I am your mindless follower? You want to know what I think, Jeremy? I think you don't do all this stuff for the Earth. I think you do it for you because you don't actually care about anyone else's ideas. You only care about your own ideas and hearing yourself talk. So, pardon me, Jeremy. Is that the Chattanooga Choo Choo? Yeah, it is, and it's going that-a-way. And you are going that-a-way.
BURNED!!! Great job putting that wimpy tree-hugger in his place, Sue! Glad to see you came to your senses. Now if only Jeremy and the rest of those lunatics could do the same!
That’s liberals for you: they try to convince you they are out to change the world, but really only want people to listen to their garbage so they seem important. Wake up, people. Don’t believe all you hear!
