The star-crossed bipartisan relationship of Democrat staffer Laurel Healy (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) and Republican chief-of-staff Gareth Ritter (Aaron Treit) bombed like a Michael Moore documentary on last night's episode of CBS’s BrainDead.
In “Taking on Water: How Leaks in D.C. are Discovered and Patched,” Gareth’s boss, Senator Red Wheatus, orders an opposition research file be produced of Laurel’s past activities, including her sexual history. Along with this comes the revelation that Laurel (who produces documentaries) slept with liberal filmmaker and propagandist Michael Moore at the Sundance Festival.
Poor Gareth. Smitten with the liberal staffer (and sister) of a liberal Senator, the conservative Gareth just can’t stomach this bit of news as he imagines the two in bed together (yes, that is actually Michael Moore himself in the clip below) and almost throws up. Who can blame him?
Gareth: She slept with Michael Moore?
Investigator: Yes. I want to take it in to Red.
Gareth: No. Not yet.
Investigator: When?
Gareth: Not yet.
(Exhales) (Sniffles) (Gags) (Clears throat)
Clearly still disturbed, Gareth goes to Laurel to talk about it. He explains that, to Republicans, there are just some names that cannot be tolerated – Michael Moore being at the top of that list. He compares it to Laurel discovering that he had been intimate with conservative best-selling author Ann Coulter.
Confirming his worst fears and Laurel says she did sleep with Moore.
Laurel: Gareth. Hi. Wow, you look like something's wrong.
Gareth: No, no. I, um... I forgot dinner. I was gonna make you dinner. (Chuckles) You want to know a funny thing?
Laurel: Sure, but I'm not sure it sounds funny.
Gareth: What do you mean?
Laurel: Just the way your voice sounds-- it doesn't sound like a funny thing.
Gareth: No, it's funny. The newest oppo research has you sleeping with someone I know is wrong.
Laurel: Really?
Gareth: Yeah. You want to know who?
Laurel: Sure, if you want to tell me.
Gareth: Michael Moore. You know, Michael Moore, the liberal.
Laurel: I do.
Gareth: I told the researcher that that couldn't be true. I mean, you and Michael Moore.
Laurel: Good.
Gareth: (Chuckles) It's not true, right?
Laurel: Why don't we get dinner.
Gareth: Laurel. There are certain names, to a Republican. I mean, what would the equivalent be? If I slept with Ann Coulter, I guess.
Laurel: Have you slept with Ann Coulter?
Gareth: No.
Laurel: Good. Then let's get dinner.
Gareth: Did you sleep with Michael Moore?
Laurel: Do you really want to know?
Gareth: I don't know. Yes.
Laurel: Yes. At Sundance. Just once. Okay. Let’s get dinner. Ready?
The issue resolves itself when the private investigator discovers that the woman in question with Moore at Sundance was not Laurel, after all. The gossip was false but Laurel had allowed Gareth to believe it. When Gareth goes back to Laurel to make up and apologize for his questioning of her, she breaks off the relationship with him anyway, citing too many differences between them.
I think the lesson here is that Michael Moore's involvement ruins everything.
