Over at TVNewser, Brian Stelter has posted an MP3 of a song that is apparently being played today on WPLJ in New York City, ridiculing the poor ratings performance of the CBS Evening News with Katie Couric, with lyrics offering several suggestions for Ms. Couric and her producers. Safe to say it's a bit on the cruel side, especially the line about "if you want big success....find Dan Rather's home address."
Here’s a link to the audio file, and what follows is my transcription of the song’s lyrics (although you need to hear the tune to get the full effect):
My, my,
Poor Katie Couric's newscast is in trouble
It seems
Charlie and Brian's ratings are like double
Change her whole attitude
And suggest that she read the news nude
Hey, CBS
This whole thing is a total mess.
Hey CBS
Ask Katie to go panty-less
Hey CBS,
Time to send an S.O.S.
Or CBS,
Have Katie remove her dress
It must be tons of stress
For the perky news princess
It's fact
Her news gets beat by freakin' Full House reruns
Maybe
It's because she's always usin' those bad puns
She's stuck down in last place
Time to drag out the fishnet and lace
Hey CBS
If you want to have big success
Well then CBS
Make Katie read the news topless
Hey CBS
Make Katie wear a little less
Or CBS
Find Dan Rather's home address
It must be tons of stress
For the perky news princess
She needs a Marilyn mole
And a shiny new stripper pole
Hey, CBS
This whole thing is a total mess.
Hey CBS
Ask Katie to go panty-less
Hey CBS,
Time to send an S.O.S.
Hey CBS,
Have Katie remove her dress
It must be tons of stress
For the perky news princess
