Letterman Trashes Mary Todd Lincoln’s Looks On Presidents’ Day

February 19th, 2013 5:52 PM

You would think that Abraham Lincoln’s wife is sacred, especially on the national holiday known as Presidents’ Day.

That’s clearly not the case at the CBS Late Show where one of the jokes during the evening’s Top Ten list trashed Mary Todd Lincoln’s looks (video follows with partial transcript and commentary):

DAVID LETTERMAN: The category tonight, things you don't want to hear, things you don't want to hear from a guy dressed as Abraham Lincoln. For Presidents’ Day we sent a guy dressed as Abraham Lincoln to mingle with city pedestrians. Good gig. Here we go, Top Ten things you don't want to hear from a guy dressed as Abraham Lincoln.

You knew this was going to be rather disrespectful to our 16th president when number ten was the man dressed as Lincoln saying to a woman, "How about you and I form a more perfect union?"


Yeah, that’s funny. One of our most revered presidents trying to pick up a girl on the street.

But the disrespect didn’t stop there, for at number six, the fake Lincoln said to another woman walking by, "Damn, girl, you make Mary Todd look like Ulysses S. Grant."

Did I mention this was Presidents’ Day - the day the nation commemorates the birthdays of George Washington AND Abraham Lincoln?

But Letterman wasn't done, as no Top Ten list of his dealing with presidents could possibly pass up the opportunity to trash George W. Bush; at number two, the fake Lincoln asked a stranger, "Hey, where's my idiot son, Abraham W. Lincoln?"

Even less surprisingly, when MSNBC’s Chris Matthews played some of these on Tuesday’s Hardball, number two was his favorite.

There’s an obvious joke in there, but since this is a family website, I'll leave it to the reader to figure it out.