When this first appeared in my inbox, I thought it was a joke from one of the many satirical websites on the Internet which regularly lampoon the liberal bogeyman disaffectionately known as global warming.
Then, I thought the good folks at the Washington Times were having a little fun the day before Thanksgiving highlighting tips to make your holiday more eco-friendly.
Sadly, a visit to the World Wildlife Fund's website proved that the joke's on us as the largest multinational conservation organization in the world offered readers ten tips for a greener Thanksgiving:
1) Purchase locally grown, seasonal produce in the bulk bin. Locally produced products require less gasoline to ship to market - and usually taste fresher too. Local seasonal produce can include root crops such as potatoes, turnips, beets, rutabaga, parsnips, salsify, pumpkins and squash. Use bitter greens and hardy vegetables that are available in the fall, such as collards, kale and Brussels sprouts. They're good for you and good for the planet. Look for them in the bulk bin to cut down on individual packaging waste.
2) Buy organic foods - turkeys, produce such as apples, celery, and many of the traditional Thanksgiving dinner trimmings are now available in organic version, usually better for the environment as they reduce the use of pesticides.
3) Shop online or order by phone and save the gas you'd burn driving from store to store. It saves the planet from exhaust emissions, which add to global warming.
4) Look for natural materials such as pinecones, dried leaves, Osage oranges, and other natural materials from your own backyard to make your holiday centerpiece.
5) Serve tap water instead of bottled at your holiday table and cut down on plastic bottles which will need to be discarded.
6) Purchase ingredients with a minimal amount of packaging around them. Cardboard and plastic packaging just ends up in the waste basket.
7) Serve wine sealed with a cork not a plastic stopper. Cork extraction is one of the most environmentally friendly harvesting methods, and cork production provides a sustainable livelihood for people in many parts of the world.
8) Although Thanksgiving is supposed to be a feast, don't prepare more food than will be eaten. American's throw out nearly 40 percent of their food. This year, encourage guests to clean their plates.
9) Remember - leftovers are half the fun! Find new and interesting ways to serve leftovers.
10) Share food with those that have less and invite people for Thanksgiving that don't have anywhere else to go. Sustainable societies are built on sustainable agriculture and food systems but also sustainable communities - be part of one.
In the end, all of these suggestions are actually quite good ones that even skeptics should agree with, although likely not follow.
For instance, I'm not sure I want to purchase my food online. Part of the fun of preparing a meal is indeed going to the supermarket.
Beyond that, as the food has to be delivered to your house likely by a truck that gets worse gas mileage than your car, I fail to see how this reduces fuel usage or carbon dioxide emissions.
Also, the serving of tap water might be just fine for folks in areas where that which comes from their pipes is close to potable. However, there are many parts of the country where this is just not the case.
Finally, did anybody notice the contradiction in tips eight and nine? First we're encouraged to only prepare as much food as will be eaten, and then offered advice as to what to do with the leftovers.
If I follow rule eight properly, won't rule nine become moot?
Or, is the WWF accidentally admitting that no one will pay attention to any of these tips?
Regardless, for those that were wondering, the Sheppard household is doing its share to have a green Thanksgiving, as I noticed last evening my wife and daughter slicing exclusively Granny Smith apples for our pie this year.
Also, I plan on spending the entire day green with envy for my son that is duck hunting in Sidney, Nebraska.
Have a Green Thanksgiving!
