Thursday marked the 25th birthday for the leftist extremist network known as MSNBC. Fox News Channel host Tucker Carlson, a former MSNBCed himself, decided to wish “the Hutu radio network” a very happy birthday by looking back at some of their highlights, including the hiring of the “emotionally stunted, agoraphobic baseball card collector who wore mom jeans” and the “new lead anchor screaming once again about those diabolical white people.”
“So, MSNBC, the TV network not the schedule three pharmaceutical, has a birthday today. That channel is 25 years old. It's hard to believe, especially for those of us who remember the day was born,” he quipped at the top of the segment.
Carlson then sought to dispel some misconceptions that inexplicably persisted to harm their reputation as a news network:
The first is that all of its anchors have been accused by a sitting president of murdering a young woman in a congressional office. That’s not true, it's a myth and we like to dispel it once and for all right now. The second misperception about MSNBC is that it has always been some sort of left-wing revolutionary channel. Leon Trotsky TV. And that’s not true either.
From its first hours, MSNBC was a purely corporate project. The MS stands for Microsoft. The NBC, for what was then a division of General Electric.
After ripping “the geniuses in the programming office [who] decided to pivot and make MSNBC more populist or something,” Carlson noted how MSNBC hired him to fill that role and played a soundbite of himself going on about the invasion of Iraq. “And honestly, that’s pretty compelling television. But in the end, it was not enough. The guy you just saw was fired for low ratings.”
Things took a more humorous turn when he recalled the hiring of the “emotionally stunted, agoraphobic baseball card collector who wore mom jeans to the office and wrote florid scripts with too many adjectives,” who you might know as Keith Olbermann. “And keep in mind the ‘L’ is silent,” he added, reminding folks that the loser didn’t have a platform anymore.
“Like puppies, all TV networks are cute when they're little. The problem is you never know what they are going to grow up to become,” he went on to warn as he equated MSNBC to “the Hutu radio network, ginning up race fear to mobilize the militias.”
What he was talking about was the elevation of the “new lead anchor screaming once again about those diabolical white people,” a.k.a. Joy Reid. And following a soundbite of her accusing white people of demanding minorities go back to work for the benefit of whites, Carlson decried: “Shades of Kigali [Rwanda] in ’94. We regret to inform you that tomorrow we’ll be killed with our families. It's pretty ugly.”
“But we’re going to rise above it tonight,” he proclaimed, “and wish of the woman you just saw, the race a lady, along with Jeb Bush’s former flack [Nicolle Wallace], the Rachel Maddow impersonator [Chris Hayes], and most sincerely Maddow herself a very happy birthday. And we’re going to do it with maximum cultural imperialism.”
And so, he left MSNBC with an Irish saying that seemed to be intended to have a certain ‘what goes around comes around’ vibe:
May your life be full of gladness and health and your pocket full of gold as the least of your wealth. May the dreams you hold dear be the ones that come true. May all the kindness you spread keep coming back to you.
The transcript is below, click "expand" to read:
Fox News Channel’s Tucker Carlson Tonight
July 15, 2021
8:42:02 p.m. EasternTUCKER CARLSON: So, MSNBC, the TV network not the schedule three pharmaceutical, has a birthday today. That channel is 25 years old. It's hard to believe, especially for those of us who remember the day was born. And yet even at this advanced age there are a lot of misconceptions about MSNBC.
The first is that all of its anchors have been accused by a sitting president of murdering a young woman in a congressional office. That’s not true, it's a myth and we like to dispel it once and for all right now. The second misperception about MSNBC is that it has always been some sort of left-wing revolutionary channel. Leon Trotsky TV. And that’s not true either.
From its first hours, MSNBC was a purely corporate project. The MS stands for Microsoft. The NBC, for what was then a division of General Electric. So, the channel began as a merger of business titans and fundamentally it is still one big HR department. After the 2004 presidential elections, the geniuses in the programming office decided to pivot and make MSNBC more populist or something. They weren't sure exactly what they want to but they hired a new prime-time anchor anyway.
CARLSON (July 2006): Do you wish now, looking back three years, that the press had been a little more vigilant in asking questions about the invasion of Iraq during the run-up to it? Like, are we certain there are the stockpiles that we are using to justify the war? How do you know they are there, what exactly are you talking about Mr. Powell in your speech to the United Nations? Don't you wish the press had been a little tough on the administration?
CARLSON (live): And honestly, that’s pretty compelling television. But in the end it was not enough. The guy you just saw was fired for low ratings.
He was replaced by an emotionally stunted, agoraphobic baseball card collector who wore mom jeans to the office and wrote florid scripts with too many adjectives. Mr. Keith Olbermann ladies and gentlemen. And keep in mind the “L” is silent.
But it was too volatile an arraignment to last. Before long, the network’s top star took his mom jeans and went back to his Honus Wagner cards in his sad midtown apartment. But MSNBC itself remained and its evolution continued.
Like puppies, all TV networks are cute when they're little. The problem is you never know what they are going to grow up to become. So, what’s MSNBC now? Effectively, it’s the Hutu radio network, ginning up race fear to mobilize the militias. Here’s the channel’s new lead anchor screaming once again about those diabolical white people.
JOY REID: And so, here we are again, with conservatism at least among a certain cohort of white guys, now rooting itself in the idea that even during a pandemic, these screaming men and women have the God-given right to get their roots done, order a steak at the restaurant, and hit the golf course and the bar. And that those rights, which they claim were conferred upon them by God, require a disproportionately black and brown labor force to return to work, get back on the wheel, and risk of death in order to serve them and return them to their comfortable lives.
CARLSON: Broadcasting that crap 24 hours a day. Shades of Kigali in ’94. We regret to inform you that tomorrow we’ll be killed with our families. It's pretty ugly.
But we’re going to rise above it tonight and wish of the woman you just saw, the race a lady, along Jeb Bush’s former flack, the Rachel Maddow impersonator, and most sincerely Maddow herself a very happy birthday. And we’re going to do it with maximum cultural imperialism.
As the Irish say on occasions like this “May your life be full of gladness and health and your pocket full of gold as the least of your wealth. May the dreams you hold dear be the ones that come true. May all the kindness you spread keep coming back to you.” Happy birthday, MSNBC.
