Talk about a media machine. Pope Benedict XVI announces his retirement and the press devour the information only to toss out stories dripping with Nazis connotations, sex abuse scandals, female hatred, and gay marriage. Oh wait, scratch that last one, because, according to Buzzfeed’s Matt Stopera, the pope is gay.
Stopera quoted “the great” Honey Boo Boo, the 6-year-old reality TV star turned modern day philosopher, to prove the pope’s “gayness:” ‘Ain't nothin' wrong with being a little gay!’
Then, to build anticipation, Stopera’s malicious count down began for “The 25 Gayest Pictures Of The Pope.” Picture No. 25 illustrated His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI processing down the church aisle while two priests held his robes so that he might raise his hand in blessing. The caption mockingly read, “With his glamtourage.” No. 24 showed the pope sitting, with one hand grazing his ear, which, in Buzzfeed terms, meant: “Fluffing his hair, not a care, staring at some birds.”
It got worse.
An additional image pictured a kneeling cardinal reverently kissing the pope’s hand – “You know, just getting a kiss from another man.” No big deal. Scroll down to see another cardinal “Going in for a kiss” and then a priest who was “really enjoying this [other] kiss” to the pope’s hand. Seeing a trend? Except then kisses are used to imply alternative meanings, like “Being tickled.”
The pictures later turned focus to pope fashion and read “Loving his furry little beanie” and “Also that cape!” Oh, wait, “This hat is really cute, too.” Buzzfeed talent soared as “love” mixed with fashion to show two priests sharing an embrace like “Just two dudes in dresses hugging it out.”
Two pictures connected former President George Bush and the pope: “Working that runway with former President GWB” one said, while the second, showing the pope and president waving at their minions, proclaimed, “Haiii!!!!!”
Then there’s a slow motion between the pope and Israeli President Isfrael Shimon Peres:
“Running to each other…” “Their arms open wide…” “And BOOM! They embrace.” For a hug.
Saving the worst for last, “5 pictures of shirtless acrobats performing a private show” for the pope appeared. One even consisted of a video showing the guy taking his shirt off while the pope “watches.” Shameless, Buzzfeed, shamless.
The very last image, No. 1, read “Bye!” as Pope XVI waved with a creepy smile – or is it innocent? Hard to tell after that slideshow.
Buzzfeed’s Stopera knows no limits in his ripping apart of a one-billion-strong faith for laughs, yet somehow the site expects to be treated as a serious journalistic entity.
