Bozell Column: Yes, There Are Christmas Haters

December 17th, 2011 3:06 PM

In this special season of giving, Hollywood is willing to give people what entertainment executives think the country needs: a vicious, bloody takedown of Christmas. The December 11 episode of  “American Dad” on Fox exemplified those with a complete absence of Christmas spirit in an episode titled “Season’s Beatings.”

Father Donovan announced he was running a Christmas play at the mall, so Stan Smith, the conservative Christian CIA agent/idiot dad expected to play Jesus Christ on the cross, since “I’m the most devout member of the church,” and “When it comes to Christianity, that’s the money shot.” Stan is told he’s too fat and is cast as Santa Claus. When he discovered the part of Jesus went instead to the show’s bisexual space alien character Roger, who boasted he’s working on his “savior bulge,” Stan beat Roger senseless.

Later, people watch the shocking TV news footage of “Santa” beating “Jesus.” A reporter says “Santa” used “anti-Jesus slurs” as he yelled “You don’t deserve to be on that cross, you lazy, wine-loving bisexual!” The Pope held the phone and said “Are you watching this [bleeped S-word]?” The priest complained to Stan that church leaders were “chewing my ass off.” Roger the space alien fondly remembered the beating as he watches and recounts how before he went unconscious, he was “finally able to achieve orgasm.”

Senseless violence was also added. As the episode began, Roger was perfecting his eggnog recipe. Here’s how he knew it was just right. He fed it to a rat in a cage, which then chewed off the head of another rat and then exploded in a pile of blood. Later in the episode, Stan shot a dog he thinks is a “hell hound.” Instead, it’s a guide dog for a blind man. The blind man then walked into traffic and was run over by a semi truck.

Some really sick people think these plot happenings are hilarious....in a Christmas-themed episode. So much for peace on earth and good will toward men. This twisted, bloody, and relentlessly religion-trashing episode was brought to you by a whole list of advertisers trying to sell things to children and teens: McDonald’s, Wrigley’s 5 gum, the Sony PlayStation, Apple’s iPad, the dancing hip-hop hamsters who sell the Kia Soul automobile, and the new family movie “We Bought a Zoo.” No one’s apparently concerned about the message this sends children at Christmas time.

Instead, too many spirit-crushing school bureaucrats are outraged that someone might say “Merry Christmas” in a classroom. The Batavia City School District in upstate New York explicitly instructed to employees that "Expressions related to specific religions, e.g., 'Merry Christmas,' should not be included in any spoken or written remarks."

Superintendent Margaret Puzio thought these well-wishes were an enormous distraction from education: “For me to stand up in front of the whole group and say, ‘Merry Christmas,’ is almost like the school district putting Christmas before everything else.”  How ridiculous! “Merry Christmas” is an expression of good will and kindness. It makes you wonder if school officials would take less offense at expressions of actual profanity. 

In Mercer County, New Jersey, 16-year-old student Colin Curran complained on The Huffington Post that as he prepared a playlist for an annual "holiday" breakfast for young children, a school advisor stated the songs could not include the following words: Christmas, Chanukah, Jesus, God, or Santa Claus. “I questioned the logic behind these restrictions and was informed that since we live in an area with many different cultures, our principal does not want to offend anyone with belief-specific music.” School officials later claimed to Fox News the adviser was mistaken to be so restrictive.

Even in Fort Worth, Texas, the bureaucrats are “protecting” the children from Christmas cheer. School district attorney Bertha Bailey Whatley sent a message to staff explaining the children should not be allowed to exchange gifts or "distribute personal holiday messages" during class. "For example, if students are allowed to exchange cards or small trinkets, the district would be required to allow a student to distribute a religious message with the gift or card," the memo says.  How this is more offensive than the Christianity-trashing junk on TV is mind-boggling.

Millions of Americans love during the Christmas season to get a chance to sit down in front of the TV and watch classic specials like “A Charlie Brown Christmas,” which drew 9.1 million viewers this year for a show that premiered in 1965. No one tears their hair out when Linus reads out loud a story of angels bearing tidings of great joy of a savior born to the world. Forty-six years later, it’s still a hit with viewers – almost twice as many viewers than the black-hearted misanthropes watching “American Dad.”