HBO’s Last Week Tonight host John Oliver made a surprise return to Comedy Central and The Daily Show on Monday to play the role of a British irredentist who was welcoming the U.S. to its “monarchy era” after years of checks and balances have allegedly been thrown away by Republicans in the Trump era.
After playing a montage of Republican politicians declining to express alarm at the legality of some of President Donald Trump’s actions, host Jon Stewart lamented, “Well, it's been a good run, America. It's looking like we're becoming less like the constitutional republic it's been for 250 years and more like the monarchy that we all fought to escape from, but I think the important thing to—”
Oliver then showed up and after a period of extended applause from the studio audience, settled into his role of being the guy who welcomed the colonies back home, “I'm here to gloat! America had its little fun, didn't you, experimenting with democracy, and you fought so hard to get away from us—acting up, throwing all that tea into the harbor? You still owe us for that, by the way.”
After some banter about tea, Oliver continued, “The point is, you told everybody that you were going to be different. You weren't going to turn out like your mean, old dad, who was so horrible to you when you were growing up. So we sat back, we let you spend your wild teen years experimenting with your ridiculous ideas of checks and balances because deep down, we knew that once you got that nonsense out of your system, you'd be back.”
Oliver added, “What I'm saying is, let me be the first to welcome America to its monarchy era. Congratulations, everyone! You can now take your place in the pantheon of great empires alongside the British, the Roman, the Klingon, Wakanda, whatever one Babar the Elephant was the ruler of, I forget.”
Stewart followed up by claiming, “Yes, we are having some trouble with democratic governance, but I don't think we want to abandon our republic and go full empire.”
Oliver, being less of a caricatured colonial jingoist, tried to play up modern Britain, “Yeah, why not, Jon? You really prefer the system you have now? Oh, I need 51 votes for a bill to pass. Is the vice president in town to break a tie? Oh, wait, is this one of the bills that needs 60 votes for no clear reason? Well, I'm sorry, little Timmy, no health care for you.”
Due to NHS waiting times, Timmy might not be getting health care in the U.K. either, and where was this doomsday prophesying about monarchy when Barack Obama was going on about his “pen and phone” or when Joe Biden thumbed his nose at the Supreme Court on student loan cancellation?
Here is a transcript for the February 10 show:
Comedy Central The Daily Show
2/10/2025
11:16 PM ET
JON STEWART: Well, it's been a good run, America. It's looking like we're becoming less like the constitutional republic it's been for 250 years and more like the monarchy that we all fought to escape from, but I think the important thing to –
JOHN OLIVER: Well, well, well— Jon, the prodigal son appears to have returned.
STEWART: What, is that, is that, hold on. Do my eyes deceive me? Is that young John Oliver?
OLIVER: Yes.
STEWART: Are you here to offer America your wisdom and counsel?
OLIVER: Oh, no, no, Jon, I'm here to gloat! America had its little fun, didn't you, experimenting with democracy, and you fought so hard to get away from us — acting up, throwing all that tea into the harbor? You still owe us for that, by the way.
STEWART: I mean, how much, it was just tea, John.
OLIVER: It was just tea? You take that back! You take that back right now!
STEWART: I know. It's a very sensitive beverage.
OLIVER: The point is, you told everybody that you were going to be different. You weren't going to turn out like your mean, old dad, who was so horrible to you when you were growing up. So we sat back, we let you spend your wild teen years experimenting with your ridiculous ideas of checks and balances because deep down, we knew that once you got that nonsense out of your system, you'd be back. In fact, if I may sing from Hamilton—
STEWART: I’d really, I’d appreciate not.
OLIVER: That's fair. What I'm saying is, let me be the first to welcome America to its monarchy era. Congratulations, everyone! You can now take your place in the pantheon of great empires alongside the British, the Roman, the Klingon, Wakanda, whatever one Babar the Elephant was the ruler of, I forget.
OLIVER: Hold on a second, Mr. Oliver.
STEWART: Yes. If I may, ambassador Oliver—
OLIVER: Yes, go ahead.
STEWART: — for a moment.
OLIVER: Please.
STEWART: America, yes, we are having some trouble with democratic governance, but I don't think we want to abandon our republic and go full empire.
OLIVER: Yeah, why not, Jon? You really prefer the system you have now? Oh, I need 51 votes for a bill to pass. Is the vice president in town to break a tie? Oh, wait, is this one of the bills that needs 60 votes for no clear reason? Well, I'm sorry, little Timmy, no health care for you!
