Oliver Doubles Down On Attempt To Bribe Thomas Off The Court

May 7th, 2024 10:02 AM

HBO’s host of Last Week Tonight, John Oliver, traveled to NBC’s Late Night with Seth Meyers on Monday for one of his periodic visits to his network-based cohorts. During his visit, Oliver and Meyers reminisced about the time Oliver promised Justice Clarence Thomas $1 million to “get the fuck off the Supreme Court,” with Oliver doubling down, “Honestly, I'd open it up again.”

Meyers recalled that “there is something that has not happened yet that you threw out into the universe. You basically offered Clarence Thomas a million dollars a year—not just a million dollars, a million dollars a year if he resigned from the Supreme Court.”

 

 

Amid cheering from the audience, Oliver also remembered that it is “so easy to feel that way when you didn't make the offer and I felt exactly like you until the offer went out on TV. I was so excited. "Oh, that was fun. That show went really well. Oh [bleep], it's about to happen now, isn't it?"

After a bit about how Oliver’s wife was not as thrilled as the audience with the idea, he declared, “It was both a huge relief and massively disappointing that he didn't take it.”

Meyers then wondered, “What was the window of time you gave him?”

Oliver then doubled down, “It was—we gave him 30 days. Honestly, I'd open it up again. If— ahead of — As long as—As long as he gets out before the—before they're doing the June decisions. I would be willing to open discussions again.”

After a bit of self-revelation that Thomas probably wasn’t watching, Meyers joked that Thomas’s wife Ginni was, which led Oliver to continue, “Yeah, if you want to get in touch and open up the negotiations again, I still have the contract in the drawer in my desk, and I'd be willing to do that. Again, until one of us dies, and hopefully that will be you.”

For Meyers, that last bit was “just self-preservation” to avoid having to make large amounts of million-dollar payments, but Oliver doesn't have to worry because Thomas isn't the corrupt vote-seller the bit pretends that he is.

Here is a transcript for the May 6-taped show:

NBC Late Night with Seth Meyers

5/7/2024

1:08 AM ET

SETH MEYERS: There is something that has not happened yet that you threw out into the universe. You basically offered Clarence Thomas a million dollars a year -- not just a million dollars –

JOHN OLIVER: Yeah.

MEYERS: -- a million dollars a year if he resigned from the Supreme Court.

OLIVER: I did do that. I did, yeah. Yeah. Easy.

MEYERS: Easy.

OLIVER: Easy -- so easy to feel that way when you didn't make the offer and I felt exactly like you until the offer went out on TV. I was so excited. "Oh, that was fun. That show went really well. Oh [bleep], it's about to happen now, isn't it?"

MEYERS: Now, I imagine there's multiple people you just –

OLIVER: Oh, yeah. Yes.

MEYERS: -- Have to talk to about that. People, lawyers –

OLIVER: For sure.

MEYERS: Your wife.

OLIVER: Definitely.

MEYERS: Were they as applaud-y as this group?

OLIVER: I would say my wife was on the low side of the applaud-y. It was more, "What did you just tell me?" I did say to her, it's until one of us dies. And I think that if he takes the offer --

MEYERS: Not you or your wife, you or Clarence Thomas.

OLIVER: No, yeah, that's what I'm -- no, no. Yeah. Well, you diagnosed the awkwardness in that room really well. “Why would you put that in the offer, you sociopath?” 

Until I or Clarence Thomas die. And I did feel like if he took the deal that there were going to be some people so angry with me that they were going to kill me. Therefore, my wife wouldn't be on the hook for the money. But she didn't take that as the reassuring statement that I hoped. “Oh, I won't be around for that. Don't worry. It's fine.” 

But it would have -- if he said -- it was both a huge relief and massively disappointing that he didn't take it.

MEYERS: What was the window of time you gave him?

OLIVER: It was -- we gave him 30 days. Honestly, I'd open it up again. If-- ahead of -- As long as --

MEYERS: Yeah.

OLIVER: As long as he gets out before the -- before they're doing the June decisions. 

MEYERS: Yeah.

OLIVER: I would be willing to open discussions again. So Clarence, I know I keep -- every time I'm talking to Clarence through the camera here.

MEYERS: Sure, yeah, yeah. Of course.

OLIVER: Clarence, I know you're a big fan of Seth.

MEYERS: Yeah. I think he -- I think he's not, but Ginni has it on.

OLIVER: Ginni-- Ginni is just a fan of just the canon of Late Night.

MEYERS: Oh, just loves it, yeah.

OLIVER: Yeah, if you want to get in touch and open up the negotiations again, I still have the contract in the drawer in my desk, and I'd be willing to do that.

MEYERS: That's really cool.

OLIVER: Again, until one of us dies, and hopefully that will be you.

MEYERS: More than fair.

OLIVER: You know, like --

MEYERS: That's just self-preservation.