Sarah Silverman returned to Comedy Central for round two of temp hosting The Daily Show on Monday and spent the majority of the program attacking Speaker Mike Johnson, including for putting porn accountability software on his and his son’s phones. Meanwhile, ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel did the same, labeling it “strange.”
Silverman introduced the story, “And finally let’s move on to Washington, D.C., where the new Speaker of the House just keeps getting weirder and weirder.”
In a montage of news clips, Johnson was shown in 2022 explaining that, “My accountability partner right now is Jack, my son, right? And, so, he's 17, so he and I get a report of all the things that are on our phones or all of our devices once a week. If anything objectionable comes up, your accountability partner gets an immediate notice.”
Also included in the series of clips was an ad from the software Covenant Eyes which featured a man in a superhero costume proclaiming, “Every superhero has his strengths and weaknesses. My superpower: strength. My weakness: porn,” with the last bit showing the superhero transforming into just a regular guy.
Silverman thought this was all very odd, “Wow, these Marvel movies are really running out of ideas. Why is he a superhero whose weakness is porn, like, what is that origin story, did his parents die masturbating to horny MILFs? Was he hit with a radioactive money shot?”
As for Johnson:
And if Mike Johnson doesn't want to encourage his son to masturbate, why did he name him Jack? I mean, you should meet his other kids: Tug and his daughter Finger Blast. I blew that joke. I am sorry, there is no way this app is going to stop people from masturbating, especially 17-year-old boys. Seventeen year-olds don't need porn. They can jerk off to anything. His dad must be like, ‘He really doesn't look at porn at all, he just spends all day browsing Ann Taylor Loft.’ Seriously, don't use an app to find out if your son is masturbating, just do it the old fashioned way. See if his socks shatter like an icicle.
Kimmel, meanwhile, was less gratuitous, but still was greatly confused, “Meanwhile, our new Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson, is giving us plenty to talk about… It’s very, very strange to ask your teenage son to be your porn accountability partner. I mean, I get it -- you don't want them watching, but how about this. You know, Mike, if you have nobody else in your life to do this with, I will gladly be your porn accountability partner.”
Concluding, Kimmel compared Johnson to another Republican, “I'm pretty sure we can do it cross-country. I'm very open minded. Whatever weird stuff you're watching – I don’t know, clown porn, cosplay, stepmom, foot fetish, the stuff with the tentacles -- no problem. I don't judge. What happens between you Mike and your Johnson is your business. But let’s get your son out of this. I didn't think it was possible, but Mike Johnson makes Mike Pence look like Mike Tyson.”
There’s lots of debate in comedy about what is considered “too far” or offensive, but mocking virtue and how people take steps to avoid temptation is a pretty good indication that you’ve gone to far.
Here are transcripts for the November 6 shows:
ABC Jimmy Kimmel Live!
11/6/2023
12:05 AM ET
JIMMY KIMMEL: Meanwhile, our new Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson, is giving us plenty to talk about. There's a video, I don't know if you've seen this. Johnson made an appearance at a church in Louisiana a couple of years ago. He talked about how he and his son Jack, who was 17 at the time, monitor each other's porn intake. They use something called accountability software. Which tracks the internet activity on your computer, your phone, your iPad, et cetera, and shares it with your accountability partner, who in Mike's case is his teenaged son and vice versa.
So, if his son looks at porn, his dad would get an alert, and if Mike looks at porn, his son gets an alert. Which is, you know, it is possible to be too close with your children.
It’s very, very strange to ask your teenage son to be your porn accountability partner. I mean, I get it -- you don't want them watching, but how about this. You know, Mike, if you have nobody else in your life to do this with, I will gladly be your porn accountability partner.
I'm pretty sure we can do it cross-country. I'm very open minded. Whatever weird stuff you're watching – I don’t know, clown porn, cosplay, stepmom, foot fetish, the stuff with the tentacles -- no problem. I don't judge. What happens between you Mike and your Johnson is your business. But let’s get your son out of this. I didn't think it was possible, but Mike Johnson makes Mike Pence look like Mike Tyson.
***
Comedy Central The Daily Show
11/6/2023
11:05 PM ET
SARAH SILVERMAN: And finally let’s move on to Washington, D.C., where the new Speaker of the House just keeps getting weirder and weirder.
FEMALE REPORTER: Speaker of the House Mike Johnson admitted he and his son used software to monitor if the other was watching porn.
MIKE JOHNSON [2022]: My accountability partner right now is Jack, my son, right? And, so, he's 17, so he and I get a report of all the things that are on our phones or all of our devices once a week. If anything objectionable comes up, your accountability partner gets an immediate notice.
MALE REPORTER: The Louisiana Republican installed accountability software called Covenant Eyes so that he and his 17-year-old son Jack would abstain from going to X-rated internet sites. The website promotes itself as a way to help those with porn addictions.
COVENANT EYES AD: Every superhero has his strengths and weaknesses. My superpower: strength. My weakness: porn.
SILVERMAN: Wow, these Marvel movies are really running out of ideas. Why is he a superhero whose weakness is porn, like, what is that origin story, did his parents die masturbating to horny MILFs? Was he hit with a radioactive money shot?
And if Mike Johnson doesn't want to encourage his son to masturbate, why did he name him Jack? I mean, you should meet his other kids: Tug and his daughter Finger Blast. I blew that joke. I am sorry, there is no way this app is going to stop people from masturbating, especially 17-year-old boys. Seventeen year-olds don't need porn. They can jerk off to anything. His dad must be like, "He really doesn't look at porn at all, he just spends all day browsing Ann Taylor Loft."
Seriously, don't use an app to find out if your son is masturbating, just do it the old fashioned way. See if his socks shatter like an icicle.
