The men of late night "comedy" finally got the opportunity on Monday to address the Twitter Files and the revelations of how Twitter suppressed the New York Post’s story about Hunter Biden’s laptop. However, they missed the point about how the Post was censored and insisted the real story was the censorship of nude Hunter Biden photos.
Trevor Noah kicked off his last week as host of Comedy Central’s The Daily Show by reporting, “Over the weekend, Elon released the so-called Twitter Files, which many conservatives had hoped would prove that Twitter colluded with Democrats to censor news about Hunter Biden's laptop during the 2020 election. Instead, they mostly just showed the Biden campaign asking Twitter to take down nude photos of Hunter Biden.”
In order to make this claim, Noah cherry-picked one tweet of nearly 40 on how Twitter censored the Post’s article, but that was a theme for Noah and others. As Noah shifted to Donald Trump’s reaction, he again missed the point, “The Republican front runner for president of the United States wants to terminate the Constitution because Twitter wouldn't allow him to see Hunter Biden's dick.”
Over at CBS, The Late Show host Stephen Colbert lamented that he had to spend time talking about the story, “Why is the former president calling for the termination of the Constitution? Well, it's a long, stupid story, and there's a penis at the end of it.”
Colbert focused on the same tweet that Noah did when he explained, “So what was in those tweets that Joe Biden was so desperate to have handled? Hunter Biden's penis pictures.”
Also on CBS, The Late Late Show’s James Corden sarcastically declared the release of the Twitter Files to be, “a huge win for free speech. The people have a right to see the president’s son’s penis.”
Corden also just wished the whole story would just go away, “It does seem—this story: Twitter, Elon, Musk, the New York Post, and Hunter Biden, it's a real who’s who of things we're all tired of hearing about, but just can't seem to escape ever.”
Finally, NBC Late Night host Seth Meyer also focused in on Trump’s reaction by playing a clip from a local news report that also focused in on the same tweet, “The former journalist who compiled those notes for Musk claimed "One executive would write to another, more to review from the Biden team. The reply would come back, 'handled,' but reviews of internet archives show those links were explicit pornographic images stolen from Hunter Biden's laptop hard drive, not requests from the Biden campaign to suppress the New York Post story itself.”
The decision to suppress the Post’s story was wrong whether the Biden campaign had anything to do with it or not and that has nothing to do with naked photos of Hunter Biden. However, Meyers wanted to talk about Trump instead, “Yes, Trump wants the Constitution terminated because Joe Biden's campaign, which was not the government in 2020, asked Twitter to take down pics of Hunter Biden's dong.”
ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel and NBC The Tonight Show host Jimmy Fallon did not cover the revelations at all on their Monday shows.
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Here are transcripts for the December 5-taped shows:
Comedy Central The Daily Show with Trevor Noah
12/5/2022
11:02 PM ET
TREVOR NOAH: Over the weekend, Elon released the so-called Twitter Files, which many conservatives had hoped would prove that Twitter colluded with Democrats to censor news about Hunter Biden's laptop during the 2020 election. Instead, they mostly just showed the Biden campaign asking Twitter to take down nude photos of Hunter Biden. So yeah, sorry, everyone, if you want to see naked people, you've got to go to every other website on the internet, I guess.
So, the Twitter Files turned out to be a major letdown for conservatives, right? There was no proof of a conspiracy to help defeat Donald Trump. But you know who doesn't care about any of that? Donald Trump.
JONATHAN LEMIRE: Former president Donald Trump's false claims about the 2020 election now have him calling for the constitution to be terminated. “With the revelation of mass and widespread fraud and deception and working closely with big tech companies, the DNC and the Democratic Party, do you throw the presidential election results of 2020 out and declare the rightful winner or do you have a new election? A massive fraud of this type and magnitude allows for the termination of all rules, regulations, and articles, even those found in the Constitution."
NOAH: Yeah, that's right. The Republican front runner for president of the United States wants to terminate the Constitution because Twitter wouldn't allow him to see Hunter Biden's dick. Yeah, he's like "I want to see the pee pee, I want to see it, I want to see what I'm dealing with."
NOAH: If you want to see Hunter Biden's dick, just get a bag of cocaine like everybody else, Mr. President.
***
CBS The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
12/5/2022
11:42 PM ET
STEPHEN COLBERT: Why is the former president calling for the termination of the Constitution? Well, it's a long, stupid story, and there's a penis at the end of it.
Come with me, won't you? It all started with Twitter CEO and rejected Village person, Elon Musk. For weeks, Musk has been hyping an internal Twitter report supposedly exposing liberal bias at the social media company during the 2020 election. Now, Musk gave the report to journalist Matt Taibbi, who on Friday posted a Twitter thread showing Twitter executives debating how to handle tweets concerning a discovered laptop belonging to Hunter Biden.
Again, with the Hunter Biden laptop! Give it a rest! You don't hear anyone obsessing over the former president's son's laptop. And Eric's got a good one-- it's made by Fisher-Price, and it can tell you what sound a cow makes. Very accurate.
"The cow says I'll turn state's evidence." Everybody is talking, is what I'm saying. The hot, juicy scandal nugget supposedly at the center of this supposed takedown was this exchange between Twitter employees: one relayed a request from the Biden team to review five tweets, and the other employee replied, "Handled these." Oh, dang.
Handled. As with hands. Scandal hands. Scandal handles! So what was in those tweets that Joe Biden was so desperate to have handled? Hunter Biden's penis pictures. Elon was all over it. He replied directly to the penis-cover up tweet with "If this isn't a violation of the Constitution's First Amendment, what is?" I want to tell you what is, Elon, and if the government stops me from telling you what is, that would be a violation of the First Amendment. This is not.
***
CBS The Late Late Show with James Corden
12/6/2022
12:43 AM ET
JAMES CORDEN: And on Friday night, Elon Musk released the so-called Twitter Files-- a series of internal e-mails that showed, amongst other things, how far Twitter went to shut down the New York Post’s story about Hunter Biden's laptop right before the election. This is a huge win for free speech. The people have a right to see the president’s son’s penis. You think about it this is only fair, Trump got to win an election on Facebook, Biden should get to win one on Twitter. It does seem—this story: Twitter, Elon, Musk, the New York Post, and Hunter Biden, it's a real who’s who of things we're all tired of hearing about, but just can't seem to escape ever.
***
NBC Late Night with Seth Meyers
12/6/2022
12:48 AM ET
SETH MEYERS: Trump's screed calling for the termination of the Constitution came after Twitter CEO Elon Musk released a big dud he called The Twitter Files, which was supposed to be some kind of Hunter Biden smoking gun, but in reality was just a bunch of internal Twitter emails about content moderation.
LOCAL NEWS REPORTER: Trump's cries to terminate the Constitution came after Elon Musk promoted a new release of The Twitter Files, internal emails showing how the Trump White House and the Biden campaign requested and received removals from certain content on social media. The former journalist who compiled those notes for Musk claimed "One executive would write to another, more to review from the Biden team. The reply would come back, "handled," but reviews of internet archives show those links were explicit pornographic images stolen from Hunter Biden's laptop hard drive, not requests from the Biden campaign to suppress the New York Post story itself.
MEYERS: Yes, Trump wants the Constitution terminated because Joe Biden's campaign, which was not the government in 2020, asked Twitter to take down pics of Hunter Biden's dong.
