NBC Late Night host Seth Meyers thinks that inflation is a conspiracy theory and that gender confusion is apparently no big deal because that was the argument behind all the candy-related satirical headlines on a Wednesday segment dubbed “Fox News’s Halloween Fearmongering.”
Meyers set the table for his candy-inspired segment by declared, “So every year around this time, Fox News loves to get their viewers riled up with fake Halloween conspiracy theories like when they claimed people were swapping our kids' cheap candy with expensive weed gummies. Or, you know, rainbow fentanyl is now a thing but to keep things fresh, they've also come up with new ones for 2022. We're going to run through them now in a segment called, ‘Fox News's Halloween Fearmongering.’”
Even NBC covered “rainbow fentanyl,” so that’s not a Fox News conspiracy. Nevertheless, the first set of headlines included proclamations that, “It's now Mrs. Goodbar. Biden wants to defund all kids dressed as police. There’ve been reports of needles found in apples. Even worse, the needles contain the vaccine.”
After flippantly dismissing things such as gender dysphoria and drug overdoses, Meyers moved on, and even doubled down on the former, “Mike and Ike are trying to adopt. 100 Grand bars now cost 200 grand due to inflation. White chocolate has to pay reparations to all the other chocolates. Hot Tamales are attempting to cross our border. Hershey’s are now going by Themtheys.”
Inflation and the border are real problems and while Meyers may succeed in getting some chuckles for the candy-related humor, the argument that they’re Fox News conspiracies falls flat.
Meyers left the candy bits aside for his next bit, “You can't even dress your kid up as a Native American Nazi in blackface anymore without someone getting offended.”
Former Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam was unavailable for comment as Meyers continued, “Skittles, ‘taste the rainbow,’ is liberal left wing code for “Skittles- do gay stuff.’ If you watch Hocus Pocus 2, you die seven days later, like that movie The Ring. Halloween mask mandates don't work. And finally, sugar daddies are grooming our Sour Patch Kids. This has been Fox News Halloween Fearmongering.”
It was notable that Meyers did not go after any of the Air Heads on CNN or MSNBC and their embrace of the Democratic agenda, which is sad considering CNN thinks Dum Dums are anyone who opposed The 1619 Project. MSNBC will accuse Govs. Ron DeSantis and Greg Abbott of sending migrants to Mars or beyond the Milky Way while promoting Baby Ruth getting aborted and Meyers himself thinks the Second Amendment is about the 3 Musketeers. Maybe for his Thursday show, Meyers will talk about how Starburst is really just another term for “the John Fetterman Campaign.”
This segment was sponsored by Dove.
Here is a transcript for the October 12 show:
NBC Late Night with Seth Meyers
10/12/2022
1:18 AM ET
SETH MEYERS: Welcome back to Late Night everybody. So every year around this time, Fox News loves to get their viewers riled up with fake Halloween conspiracy theories like when they claimed people were swapping our kids' cheap candy with expensive weed gummies. Or, you know, rainbow fentanyl is now a thing but to keep things fresh, they've also come up with new ones for 2022. We're going to run through them now in a segment called, "Fox News's Halloween Fearmongering.”
It's now Mrs. Goodbar. Biden wants to defund all kids dressed as police. There’ve been reports of needles found in apples. Even worse, the needles contain the vaccine.
Mike and Ike are trying to adopt. 100 Grand bars now cost 200 grand due to inflation. White chocolate has to pay reparations to all the other chocolates. Hot Tamales are attempting to cross our border. Hershey’s are now going by Themtheys.
You can't even dress your kid up as a Native American Nazi in blackface anymore without someone getting offended.
Skittles, “taste the rainbow," is liberal left wing code for “Skittles- do gay stuff.”
If you watch Hocus Pocus 2, you die seven days later, like that movie The Ring. Halloween mask mandates don't work. And finally, sugar daddies are grooming our Sour Patch Kids.
This has been Fox News Halloween Fearmongering.
