Peddling the very toxicity the press accuses President Trump of promoting is the indelible mark on any late-night television host. For people who shout from the rooftops for transparency on the part of the President, they overlook the obfuscation of facts when it benefits their fellow Democrats. Jimmy Kimmel on Wednesday’s show melted down over the impeachment trial, sliming Trump as a “stupid ape” and a “bastard."
But first, he derided transparency, instead calling for a “secret ballot” to allow senators to vote to remove Trump from office. (He's skipping the more-witnesses part.) Actors playing the Founding Fathers entered the picture to offer their “opinions” as to whether President Trump should be convicted in the Senate. They shouted in unison; “Remove the Bastard!”
JIMMY KIMMEL: We just learned from the Founding Fathers that the Constitution is supposed to protect us from a President like Donald Trump, and you guys, Congress, is supposed to protect the Constitution. Unfortunately, you're scared. You're scared to go against him because his supporters will eat you like Trump eats his breakfast bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. You're in a tough spot unless you do exactly as I say. Listen up, here's the plan. first you're going to change the rules to make the vote by secret ballot….
Next, you're going to remove this stupid ape like you all secretly want to do…And then when your red-hat constituents freak out you're going to do what Donald Trump does. You're gonna lie. You're gonna swear. It wasn't you. Every one of you in going to pretend to be outraged about what your colleagues did to poor Donny Cofeffe and then we can get rid of him and move on with our lives.
As usual, Kimmel smeared Trump's voters as morons who can't tell fact from fiction. That genius Kimmel assumed the role of constitutional scholar to adjudicate the President’s conduct:
KIMMEL: Here's the deal, number one he did it. And you all know it... We all know, you know he did it because you don't want witnesses or documents because witnesses and documents will say he did it. Next card, is what the President did impeachable? Yes, it is. Totally. What Trump did is exactly why we have impeachment. Checks and balances are at the heart of the Constitution. This is what our Founding Fathers fought for…
Perhaps Kimmel needs a civics refresher as to how a Congressional vote is supposed to be carried out. He apparently never thought it possible that with a secret ballot, Democratic presidential candidates might vote to acquit, so they can get out of town to campaign.
Transcript below:
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
1/29/20
11:40:16 PM
JIMMY KIMMEL: This trial, it needs somebody to cut through the nonsense. If I could go up there in front of the Senate and present my thoughts, I think I could save us all a lot of time. I'd do it just like this, let me show you-
KIMMEL: All right, members of the Senate please put down your fidget spinners and listen up. I know many of you are ready to wrap this up and get back home to your walk-in bathtubs so let's get to it, shall we? Here's the deal, number one he did it. And you all know it. Don't give me that look, Lindsey. We all know, you know he did it, because you don't want witnesses or documents. Because witnesses and documents will say he did it. Next card, is what the President did impeachable? Yes, it is. Totally. What Trump did is exactly why we have Impeachment. Checks and balances are at the heart of the Constitution. This is what our Founding Fathers fought for and if you don't believe me go way back in time and ask Bill from Bill and Ted, because Bill- oh hello. Wow. So I was just saying-I was just saying this is what the Founding Fathers fought, isn't that right Bill?
ALEX WINTER: That's right Jimmy, that's totally what these dudes had in mind. Checks and balances.
KIMMEL: See. Thank you Bill. And Founding Fathers what say you?
FOUNDING FATHERS: Remove the Bastard!
KIMMEL: Very good. Thank you, Founding Fathers. Thank you Bill, give my best to Ted will you.
(...)
KIMMEL: So, as we just learned from the Founding Fathers the Constitution is supposed to protect us from a President like Donald Trump, and you guys, Congress, is supposed to protect the Constitution. Unfortunately, you're scared. You're scared to go against him because his supporters will eat you, like Trump eats his breakfast bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. You're in a tough spot unless you do exactly as I say.
Listen up, here's the plan. first you're going to change the rules to make the vote by secret ballot. Next, you're going to remove this stupid ape like you all secretly want to do. Even you, Lindsey. That's right. And then when your red hat constituents freak out, you're going to do what Donald Trump does. You're gonna lie. You're gonna swear. It wasn't you. Every one of you in going to pretend to be outraged about what your colleagues did to poor Donny Covfefe and then we can get rid of him and move on with our lives.
