Bordertown is no stranger to controversy. In its very first episode, FOX's brand new animated comedy raged against everyone. From its unrepentant, racist protagonist to the worthless, whiny millennial do-gooder, no group was spared. At the time, I asked how long Bordertown could keep up with this shtick. Not long, apparently. By the show's second episode, Bordertown's writers had slipped into the left's favorite trope: bashing George W. Bush.
By the third episode, the "offensive to all" raucousness of Bordertown's premiere was becoming a distant memory. The episode, entitled "Megachurch" was all about bashing Christianity. No denomination was spared. The Roman Catholic "Mexican church" leads its congregation in a self-hating chant of "we suck" while Bud's Protestant megachurch is headed by a Biblically illiterate Harry Caray-lookalike grifter who fleeces his flock to line his own pockets and fund his extravagant lifestyle.
Pastor: Let us proclaim our shame at being born
Congregation: We suck.
Rev. Fantastic: Good morning, fine people of Mexifornia. Let us begin today's worship with the word of Gid.
Assistant: God, sir.
Rev. Fantastic: God, right, right. I can never remember that guy's name. God, if it be thy divine will, join your humble and devoted followers on stage four!
Bud: It's God!
Janice: He's here, he's really here!
Rev. Fantastic: Oh, great and powerful God, what message do you have for your faithful servants?
Gary Perkins: Give generously or you will be visited by pestilence. And if you need God-like narration at your next party, I know a really good guy, Gary Perkins, and you can e-mail him at gary_perkins@sbdglobal.net. Hire him or face the wrath of me, Gary... I mean God! God Perkins.
J.C.: Oh, come on, people. How can you be so gullible? There's clearly a guy operating that from behind that curtain.
Gary Perkins: Don't look behind the curtain!
Rev. Fantastic: Hey, how are we doing?Assitant 2: Not good-- have you heard the expression "You can't take blood from a stone"?
Rev. Fantastic: Not if it's from the Bible.
Assitant 2: It's our congregation-- they're growing old and holding onto every nickel they have-- look.
Rev. Fantastic: This church needs some high rollers. We've got to catch us a whale.
Assistant 2: Well, our spy cameras found a big fish at the Catholic church next door. His name is Ernesto Gonzalez. He lives next door to Bud Buckwald. If we can get him to recruit Gonzalez, maybe you can keep your jet.
Rev. Fantastic: That jet has a lot of fond memories for me. My second wife was born on that thing. Mr. Buckwald! Great ushering today. You know, part of being an usher is helping the church recruit new members. So we'd like you to help us recruit your neighbor, Ernesto Gonzalez.
Bud: What?! But he belongs to the Mexican church. He can't come to ours; he'll ruin it.
Rev. Fantastic: Come on, Bud. Adding a few Mexicans will only spice things up. Haven't you ever been to an orgy?
Bud: Only to deliver a pizza.
The episode is laced with homosexual innuendo. It's strongly implied that Ernesto Gonzalez's brother is having sex with other men in the church confessional, Bud accuses a man in a devil costume of arousing him every time he sees a hot guy, and a mother threatens to throw her child into a cage of lions so they can "gnaw the gay out" of him.
Naturally, the pastor is also a pervert. He builds an elevated school with a glass floor just so he can stare up under the girls’ skirts.
Bud: Thanks for helping me get my church back.
Ernesto: No problem, Bud. I realize now that there's a reason my church has stayed humble. Sometimes all the glitz just gets in the way. Also, I think your reverend is corrupt.
Bud: Are you kidding? Would a corrupt reverend design and build a glass-bottom girls' school?
Rev. Fantastic: See y'all next Sunday! Oh, dear, I can see up their skirts. What a terrible design flaw.
Bordertown's ratings slipped over a million viewers compared to the prior week. If that trend continues, maybe we'll be spared a season two.
