'Family Guy' Mocks Jesus After Evangelical Refuses to Have Sex with Brian the Dog

April 18th, 2024 9:19 AM

Fox's Family Guy has been mocking Christianity since the early years of the show. Last night's episode turned Jesus into a vulgar comedian who mocks His mother's virginity.

In the episode, "Faith No More," Brian goes back in time to erase Christianity from existence after an attractive Evangelical Christian woman refuses to have sex with him. 

After being rejected by a veterinary nurse who is an Evangelical Christian, Brian comes home and rants to Stewie about Christianity. 

Brian: Christianity sucks. It's stupid, arbitrary nonsense. 

Stewie: You're horny and she wouldn't have sex with you. 

Brian: No. And I did everything right. I even researched abortion clinics in case the condom broke. 

Stewie: Yeah, no, I know. It's in your Twitter bio. 

Brian: Fine, but look around. So much of the division and hatred in today's society comes from Christianity. And it's so hypocritical. I mean, they all vote for Trump, even though he's divorced. 

Stewie: That's all you've got on Trump? 

Brian: Christianity is also anti-science, anti-freedom-- 

Stewie: Come on, it's not all bad. I mean, I have a Swarthy Men of Nazareth advent calendar with doors opening for all 25 days. Talk about the "Stars" of Bethlehem, hey, Bri? 

Brian: Whatever. Christianity is the worst thing that ever happened to this country. Or the world. 

Stewie: Well, perhaps. But it's been around for 2,000 years, so it's not like there's anything you can do about it. Well, I'm going to bed. I'll leave you to watch John Oliver and agree with yourself. 

Brian: Good. Love John Oliver. He's a louder Jon Stewart. 

John Oliver voice: Blimey, guv'na. Republicans are bollocks. 

Brian: God, the British are smart. But, man, if only could get rid of Christianity. If only I could go back in time. 

For all the blasphemy, this scene admittedly nails the selfishness of an abortion-loving leftist angry at a woman for not sleeping with him, while also accurately mocking John Oliver.

Brian hops into a time machine in Stewie's bedroom and travels to 30 AD in search of Jesus. He hopes to prevent Christ from accomplishing His mission on Earth. He asks some men on the street if they know Jesus.

"Jesus Christ, you mean the guy who showed his weiner on a dare at camp?" one of the men replies.

Brian finds Jesus and learns that the Son of God really wants to be a stand-up comedian instead of the Messiah. God the Father is portrayed as a controlling jerk. The dog convinces Jesus to reject his Father's plans and do stand-up instead.

Jesus' stand up routine includes sex jokes and also mocks the Virgin Mary.

Jesus: So, my dad's God. [Crowd cheering] Thank you, thank you. And growing up, he taught me all about carpentry. Yeah. Uh, I guess he thought teenage boys should spend more time rubbing wood. [Crowd laughs] And my mom's a virgin. That's fun. Uh, yeah, when I was a teenager, I had to give her the talk. 

Vulgarity is par for the course in any Family Guy episode involving Christianity. Past examples include sexualizing the Last Supper and calling God a "dick." This episode is in line with the series' regular obsession with degrading Christ.

When Brian and Stewie return to the present day, they learn Christianity no longer exists and everyone is Jewish. Brian is happy until sundown when the family shuts off their electronics and prepares to walk to the synagogue. Upset about Jewish religious rules, Brian and Stewie go back to the time machine. Stewie bribes Moses to not receive the Ten Commandments. 

The world is then devoid of religion. History shows that a world that rejects God morphs into Hell on Earth, but not in Seth MacFarlane's world.

"Finally, a world with no religion, no prejudices, no irrationalities. Just science-based reason," Brian declares.

Then God shows up as a delivery man and angrily beats up Brian and Stewie until they bring religion back. In the end, a bruised and battered Stewie and Brian are seen singing in church.

Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane is a vocal atheist. His series often uses religion, particularly Christianity, as a punching bag. "Faith No More" was just the latest example and will likely not be the last.