MTV Stands for Must Televise Vulgarity with 84 Curse Words in 2 Hours of Movie Awards

April 11th, 2016 12:56 AM

In case you missed it (lucky you), MTV held its 25th Annual MTV Movie Awards hosted by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Chris Ro-- I mean, Kevin Hart. This dynamic duo managed to throw down no less than 18 curse words in the opening 9 minutes of the show. Johnson and Hart were so foul-mouthed even Amy Poehler joked that she would keep her acceptance speech clean in order to get more airtime.

In total, the show amassed 84 inappropriate words including 32 F-bombs, and 11 Chinese toy dogs (shih tzu's...). All but one of those was caught by the censors. However, in MTV's opinion those were the only ones in need of bleeping. Ass (17), Bitch (12), Dick (6), and various blasphemies (5) were all available for your listening pleasure. Perhaps the worst compilation of cursing was an original song by Johnson and Hart with the chorus repeatedly joking about Leonardo DiCaprio being raped by a bear.

Johnson: ♪♪ I punched an earthquake and made it stop ♪♪ 

Hart: ♪♪ People stopped thinking that I was Chris Pock ♪♪ 

Both: ♪♪ but no matter what happened nothing compares ♪♪ ♪♪ Leo got [ bleep ] By a bear! 'Cause Leo got [ bleep ] by a bear oh yeah! ♪♪ ♪♪ Leo got [ bleep ] by a bear! You'll always remember where you were when Leo got [ bleep ] by a bear! ♪♪ 

>> ♪♪ I was eating pizza, while taking a bath when I heard he got [ bleep ] by a bear. 

>> ♪♪ I was playing Tom with Tom Hardy when Leo got [ bleep ] by a bear. 

>> ♪♪ Ironically I was [ bleep ] this bear when I heard he got [ bleep ] by a bear. 

>> ♪♪ You'll always remember where you were when Leo got [ bleep ] by a bear! ♪♪ ♪♪ [ cheers and applause ] 

If you managed to get through the first half hour, it only got better. There was Zac Efron apologizing directly to Seth Rogan's testicles. Then there was a clip from a movie that showed a naked man's butt for several seconds. Perhaps Deadpool talking about touching himself is more to your liking and, if so, then the cast of “Suicide Squad” discussing semen, pubic hair and anal beads may have been the highlight of the show for you.

There actually were a few good moments, though. Will Smith received the “Generations” award for his tremendous body of work over the years and he talked about always wanting to inspire people. And Melissa McCarthy gave a touching speech thanking her mom for always encouraging her to be herself, after winning the “Comedic Genius” award. Unfortunately she just HAD to add a P.S. to the very end of her speech saying, “Who knew Bruce Springsteen could get even cooler? How about that?” Do you think she will feel that way when some sick pervert takes pictures of her in the bathroom? Of course, that won't happen to her or any celebrity (or liberal politician) because they don't use public bathrooms like your daughters do.

So after 25 years of MTV Movie Awards two things are for certain: MTV does not care about traditional values and they still don't play much music.