Um...do you mind? Please don't take this the wrong way but you're starting to creep me out. Yeah, I know you are just doing your job but what possible reason could you have to follow me here? Are you checking on how wide my stance is? Whether I will write something nasty on the wall? What? But since you are here, could you at least make yourself useful and find me some toilet paper. This stall is out.
Bathrooms are the final realm of privacy. So far as is known, even Winston Smith did not have Big Brother on the screen staring at him in the bathroom. However, as reported by Hadas Gold of Politico, staffers at a Democrat retreat in Philidelphia went so far as to even escort reporters to the bathroom:
Reporters covering the House Democrats' retreat in Philadelphia this week are having a much different experience than when they’re on their home turf on Capitol Hill.
Reporters are being escorted to and from the restroom and lobby and are being barred from entering the hotel outside of scheduled events, even if they've been invited by a member of Congress.
During Vice President Joe Biden’s remarks at the retreat Friday, reporters were required to have a staff member, usually a junior member of the press team, escort them when going to the bathroom or to the lobby. The filing center for reporters was at a separate hotel from where the retreat was taking place, so access was limited to members of Congress specifically made available to the press.
Look, I can't finish up here while you are staring at me. I know it sounds silly but just knowing that you are looking is interrupting the natural flow of things. Please! And I promise I will flush but could you at least go away for a few minutes?
“It was a police state. It was absurd how heavy handed the capitol police and Democratic staff were in trying to control everywhere the press went,” New York Times reporter Jeremy Peters said in an interview.
Oh, and keep your heavy hand away from me.
The incident is reminiscent of the Clinton Global Initiative conference in September, where reporters were being escorted by staff right up to the bathroom stall.
The good news for Democrats is that your humble correspondent has found a semi-plausible excuse for this bathroom privacy invasion. Hey, they were just making sure all the reporters washed their hands after they finished their bathroom business.
