Appearing on Tuesday's Tonight Show, NBC Nightly News anchor Brian Williams joined host Jimmy Fallon in "slow-jamming the news" about President Obama's executive order granting amnesty to millions of illegal immigrants. The comedy skit made sure to include the media's liberal spin on the topic – that obstructionist Republicans were just preventing Obama from getting things done in Washington.
After Williams declared that the presidential power grab "granted temporary legal status to 5 million undocumented workers," Fallon claimed Obama was "taking a hard stance on immigration," adding, "He wants to let everyone inside, but you gotta do it the right way."
As the jam continued, Williams touted White House talking points: "The President has defended his decision, arguing that he would have preferred to have Congress pass a permanent immigration bill, which he said he would gladly sign. But instead they have yet to take action, so the President felt he had to do it himself."
Fallon joked: "Obama's been waiting for Congress to make the first move so he can whip out his John Hancock and sign a bill. But so far, they've done nothing, so he's just been sitting around the White House with his Bic in his hand."
Tariq Trotter, the singer for the Tonight Show band, The Roots, sang: "Sitting around with a Bic in his hand. Sitting around with his Bic in his hand. Republicans are mad immigrants aren't leaving, just like your in-laws on Thanksgiving."
Williams chimed in again, laying blame for Washington dysfunction on the GOP: "Congressional Republicans are still weighing their response, considering everything from a possible government shutdown to even suing the President." Fallon replied: "You ain't lying, Big Brilly Style, but the President's been firm in his position. If you want me to stop taking executive action, you've got to pass a bill."
Minutes later, Williams concluded: "We're going to need more compromise on Capitol Hill." Fallon proclaimed: "Time to come together and pass this bill!" Trotter sang: "The system is broken, the President's spoken, and still no solution, man, you must be joking. The American dream ain't just for the few."
Here is a transcript of the segment:
11:41 PM ET
JIMMY FALLON: And finally, it's been two weeks since President Obama took executive action to enact his own immigration policy, and Republicans are still trying to figure out how to respond. You know, I was going to make a joke about this story, but I don't think it needs a joke. I think it needs to be slow jammed. You know what I'm talking about, Tariq?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
TARIQ TROTTER: Yeah, Jimmy. I think you're saying you want to slow jam this news.
FALLON: That's right. I want to slow jam the news, and I'm not the only one.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
BRIAN WILLIAMS: Hello, I'm Brian Williams of NBC Nightly News, and ladies and gentlemen, I, too, wish to slow jam this news.
[LAUGHTER]
FALLON: Hit me five times!
WILLIAMS: Two weeks ago, President Obama signed an executive order that granted temporary legal status to 5 million undocumented workers and provided a path to citizenship for those that meet certain criteria. Thus giving immigrants a new way to enter our country.
FALLON: Aww, yeah. [Laughter] President Obama's taking a hard stance on immigration. He wants to let everyone inside, but you gotta do it the right way. You can't go in through the back door.
TROTTER [SINGING]: Can't go in through the back door. [Laughter] It's not right.
FALLON: No, no.
TROTTER [SINGING]: They're lining up to get inside the USA, just like it was a Kmart on Black Friday
[LAUGHTER]
WILLIAMS: The President has defended his decision, arguing that he would have preferred to have Congress pass a permanent immigration bill, which he said he would gladly sign. But instead they have yet to take action, so the President felt he had to do it himself.
FALLON: Mm, mm, mmm. [Laughter] Take it from my man Breezy Weezy. Obama's been waiting for Congress to make the first move so he can whip out his John Hancock and sign a bill. But so far, they've done nothing, so he's just been sitting around the White House with his Bic in his hand.
TROTTER [SINGING]: Sitting around with a Bic in his hand. Sitting around with his Bic in his hand. [Laughter] Republicans are mad immigrants aren't leaving, just like your in-laws on Thanksgiving.
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
WILLIAMS: Congressional Republicans are still weighing their response, considering everything from a possible government shutdown to even suing the President.
FALLON: You ain't lying, Big Brilly Style, but the President's been firm in his position. If you want me to stop taking executive action, you've got to pass a bill.
TROTTER [SINGING]: My Prez Obama don't.
FALLON [SINGING]: My Prez Obama don't.
WILLIAMS [SINGING]: My Prez Obama don't want none until you pass bills hon.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
WILLIAMS: And in the latest development, Republicans are now threatening to insert their own immigration language into a must-pass spending bill. For more on all of this, join us on NBC Nightly News, where, just tonight, I celebrated my ten year anniversary behind the anchor chair.
(...)
WILLIAMS: We're going to need more compromise on Capitol Hill.
FALLON: Time to come together and pass this bill!
TROTTER [SINGING]: The system is broken, the President's spoken, and still no solution, man, you must be joking. The American dream ain't just for the few.
FALLON: And that is how we slow jam the news.
WILLIAMS: Oh, yeah!
