This is a confidential message to my fellow mainstream media journalists. All other "civilians" are to stop reading this right now.
First, I thank my commrades for the negative spin put on recent news of nearly full employment for college graduates. ABC News did a fine job of including this graf in their copy:
"Even as demand and salaries rise, college students should not be lulled into thinking that the job search will be easy or that jobs will be handed to anyone with a degree," he warned.
Sure, everyone might have a job, but your life will never be easy under this oppresive Bush regime. Let that be a lesson to the rest of you; just because this Bush economy is running great doesn't mean you have to paint it that way.
Speaking of ABC News, we all know it's perfectly acceptable to talk among ourselves about how much we hate Bush and ways we can destroy him, but come'on John Green, you need to remember that it can't be sent over your blackberry! As long as those Nazi's control the NSA, they will send all of that stuff straight to Drudge!
Finally, existing home sales are up despite all the voodoo scary mary tactics we're pushing about a real estate bubble! This doesn't mean we can't still destroy this good economy, we just need to redouble our efforts. Let's try to follow the New York Times lead in trying to blame this increase on global warming and mass confusion:
The Realtors group said sales were higher in part because of an unusually warm January... Warmer weather allows more people to venture out, and sellers often use the opportunity to hold open houses. "We cannot think of a better explanation than this," said Patrick Newport, an economist at Global Insight, a research firm. Economists caution that such onetime influences can distort monthly statistics and that it is far more revealing to look at trends over several months.
Also, look what The New York Times snuck into the bottom of that article:
Separately, the Labor Department reported claims for unemployment insurance fell by 11,000, to 302,000, for the week ending March 18.
Good job! Keep hiding the good economic news at the end of other less interesting articles rather than giving them their own space in the paper! That's why the gray lady is the flagship. Ok, back to work!
