Jon Stewart wrapped up The Daily Show’s week of coverage of the Democratic National Convention with a live episode on Comedy Central on Thursday where he promoted the idea that Kamala Harris’s acceptance speech proves “she doesn’t faintly resemble the caricature that's been painted.” Later in the program, actor Jason Bateman would narrate a promo video for Harris, where he argued she would simply be “a normal [bleep] president.”
Stewart began his analysis, such as it was, of Harris’s speech by sarcastically claiming, “This is great, we finally get to meet Communist Kamala, the radical that we have heard so much about.”
That began a series of Harris clips, followed by brief bits of Stewart. First, Harris was shown declaring that “I believe everyone has a right to safety, to dignity, and to justice [jump cut] A harm against any one of us is a harm against all of us!”
After Stewart mocked conservative criticisms, “Okay-- Stalin!,” Harris was seen recalling, “This is one of the reasons I became a prosecutor. To protect people.” Again, Stewart mocked the idea she could be on the far-left, “Das vedanya, comrade?”
A third clip had Harris claiming, “I stood up for women and children against predators who abuse them. [jump cut] I fought against the cartels who traffic in guns and drugs and human beings, who threaten the security of our border and the safety of our communities, and I will tell you, these fights were not easy.”
The faux-frustrated Stewart wailed, “Why aren't you doing the thing that they told us you were going to do? With the hammer and the sickle and the banderillos with the Jell-O shots in, why are you doing this?”
In the final clip, Harris began, “On behalf of everyone whose story could only be written in the greatest nation on Earth, I accept your nomination to be president of the United States of America.”
As the cheers from the convention transitioned into cheers from the audience, Stewart waited an extended moment before claiming, “By the way, how funny would it have been if at the end she was like, but seriously though "Not for me. This has all been great, but I’ve been thinking it over.” By the way, if I was Donald Trump right now, I would just be tweeting nonsensical shit to distract from the fact that she doesn't faintly resemble the caricature that's been painted. By the way, that is what he was doing.”
It is a convention speech, Harris was not going to say, “I was ranked the most liberal member of the Senate and even liberal Washington Post columnists are claiming I’m giving credence to the ‘communist’ allegation” because that would scare off independents, but both things are true.
Later, during Bateman’s ad, the subject of Harris’s policies came up only for him to dismiss the concerns, “What are Kamala's actual policies? Just the vague ones you'd expect from a normal Democrat trying to get elected.”
After a snippet of Harris claiming, “Our fight is the fight for the future and it is a fight for freedom,” Bateman continued, “Yeah, great, sounds good, but at least they’re going to be normal policies, you won't have to learn about Project 2025 or Great Replacement Theory, or whether a president can serve his term while in prison. What the hell are we doing here, gang? I’ve been episodes of Ozark less stressful than this.”
As for Harris-isms, Bateman, added, “Super kooky, right? So what. America has presidents with fun and energy all the time. What about Abe? He wore the big hats. FDR, stamps. Reagan, jelly beans, pounded fistfuls of them, and they were all presidents who didn’t cause Americans to shit themselves every five minutes, and that is a promise of a Kamala Harris presidency.”
He concluded by declaring Harris “won't clear up after COVID with horse dewormer and a spritz of Clorox and one that can stay up past eight. A president who will eventually leave office, a president who won't have to flee to a non-extradition country if she loses. In other words, Kamala Harris will be a normal president. Just a normal [bleep] president.”
What about having just a normal comedy show and not one that actively roots for one side?
Here is a transcript for the August 22 show:
Comedy Central The Daily Show
8/22/2024
11:34 PM ET
JON STEWART: But this is great, we finally get to meet Communist Kamala, the radical that we have heard so much about.
KAMALA HARRIS: I believe everyone has a right to safety, to dignity, and to justice [jump cut] A harm against any one of us is a harm against all of us!
STEWART: Okay-- Stalin!
HARRIS: This is one of the reasons I became a prosecutor. To protect people.
STEWART: Das vedanya, comrade?
HARRIS: I stood up for women and children against predators who abuse them. [jump cut] I fought against the cartels who traffic in guns and drugs and human beings, who threaten the security of our border and the safety of our communities, and I will tell you, these fights were not easy.
STEWART: Why aren't you doing the thing that they told us you were going to do? With the hammer and the sickle and the banderillos with the Jell-O shots in, why are you doing this?
HARRIS: On behalf of everyone whose story could only be written in the greatest nation on Earth, I accept your nomination to be president of the United States of America.
STEWART: By the way, how funny would it have been if at the end she was like, but seriously though "Not for me. This has all been great, but I’ve been thinking it over.” By the way, if I was Donald Trump right now, I would just be tweeting nonsensical shit to distract from the fact that she doesn't faintly resemble the caricature that's been painted. By the way, that is what he was doing.
…
JASON BATEMAN: What are Kamala's actual policies? Just the vague ones you'd expect from a normal Democrat trying to get elected.
HARRIS: Our fight is the fight for the future and it is a fight for freedom.
BATEMAN: Yeah, great, sounds good, but at least they’re going to be normal policies, you won't have to learn about Project 2025 or Great Replacement Theory, or whether a president can serve his term while in prison. What the hell are we doing here, gang? I’ve been episodes of Ozark less stressful than this
Of course like any person, Kamala has her personality quirks and her time as vice president brought them all front and center.
HARRIS: I love Venn Diagrams. You know, the three circles? Who does not love a yellow school bus? You think you just fell out of a coconut tree?
BATEMAN: Super kooky, right? So what. America has presidents with fun and energy all the time. What about Abe? He wore the big hats. FDR, stamps. Reagan, jelly beans, pounded fistfuls of them, and they were all presidents who didn’t cause Americans to shit themselves every five minutes, and that is a promise of a Kamala Harris presidency. A president who will not fall in love with the North Korean dictator or have a family member whose dick pics end up on a Congressional hearing. A president who won't clear up after COVID with horse dewormer and a spritz of Clorox and one that can stay up past eight. A president who will eventually leave office, a president who won't have to flee to a non-extradition country if she loses. In other words, Kamala Harris will be a normal president. Just a normal [bleep] president.
