During Monday night's edition of The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, host Stephen Colbert trashed the Trump Administration's policy of “forcibly separating immigrant children from their parents,” comparing the policy to an “all-baby reboot” of The Shawshank Redemption.
Colbert went out of his way to sensationalize the policy and paint the Trump Administration as heartless and cruel. He read aloud a tweet from President Trump, which read, “The Democrats are forcing the breakup of families at the Border with their horrible and cruel legislative agenda. Any Immigration Bill MUST HAVE full funding for the Wall, end Catch & Release, Visa Lottery and Chain, and go to Merit Based Immigration. Go for it! WIN!”
Colbert suggested that when the President said “Go for it! WIN!,” he actually meant “Ready? Okay. Two-four-six-eight, who do we incarcerate? Kids! Goooooo into the cages!”
Colbert continued his virtue-signaling by playing a clip of President Trump justifying his “child prisons” in the middle of a speech about a new “space force.” The President asserted “The United States will not be a migrant camp, and it will not be a refugee holding facility.” Colbert responded to the President’s statement by saying “No, it’ll be the all-baby reboot of The Shawshank Redemption," as he showed a parody poster of the movie with young children replacing the main prisoner characters played by Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman.
Colbert then mocked the idea that some of the adults accompanying children across the border might not actually be their parents but instead adults who hope to use the children as pawns to let them stay in the United States and/or people smugglers. According to Colbert, “Yes, who can tell if these weeping toddlers are part of a family? They might not even be toddlers. They might be adults with shoes on their knees.”
Colbert made White House policy adviser Stephen Miller his next target, describing as “dead, just dead.” He read aloud a quote from Miller, who described “separating children from their parents” as “a potent tool…for stopping migrants from flooding across the border.” Colbert said that he had always thought of Miller as a “potent tool,” later correcting himself by saying the term “impotent tool” more accurately describes him.
After playing a clip from Fox & Friends where co-host Steve Doocy said that I’m from a farm community, to me, I see the chain-link fences, it’s more like a security pen to me.” Colbert mocked Doocy “Yes, they’re not cages, they’re pens. We’re not treating these kids like zoo animals, we’re treating them like farm animals.”
According to Colbert, the best reaction came from Border Patrol, because they reached out to CBS This Morning this morning. He played a clip of host Gayle King reporting that the Border Patrol took issue with the use of the term “cages” to describe…After the clip finished playing, Colbert jumped in, “Oh, it’s accurate. That’s what’s making them uncomfortable.” He then stopped short of referring to Trump supporters as a “basket of deplorables” when saying “Trump’s defenders are wrong and they are bad.”
Colbert finished his opening monologue with a segment called “The Devil’s Advocate,” where he spoke in the devil’s voice and donned a pair of horns as he sarcastically tried to justify “imprisoning children.” As he closed the skit speaking as Lucifer, he said “By the way, Jeff Sessions, see you soon,” suggesting that the Attorney General has secured a special place in hell.
Perhaps Colbert missed the press conference held by Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen Monday afternoon, where she explained that 10,000 of the 12,000 illegal immigrant children in the care of the Federal Government arrived here without their parents; while only 2,000 arrived with their parents. Not surprisingly, the media, who have become shills for the open borders movement, have chosen to focus especially on the minority of illegal immigrant children who got separated from their parents because they decided not to apply for asylum at a point of entry.
As for the idea that these children have been put up in prisons, The San Diego Union-Tribune pointed out that these facilities have more in common with boarding schools than prisons. Don't expect Colbert and his equally biased daytime colleagues to share this reporting anytime soon.
The Late Show With Stephen Colbert
06/18/18
11:37 PM
STEPHEN COLBERT: The big story continues to be the Trump Administration’s policy of forcibly separating immigrant children from their parents. And faced with almost universal condemnation from both sides of the political aisle, from religious leaders, from the U.N. Human Rights Council, Donald Trump finally took full responsibility for the policy and promised a swift end to this humanitarian disaster. I’m just kidding.
(LAUGHTER)
COLBERT: No, he blamed the Democrats, tweeting, “The Democrats are forcing the breakup of families at the Border with their horrible and cruel legislative agenda. Any Immigration Bill MUST HAVE full funding for the Wall, end Catch & Release, Visa Lottery and Chain, and go to Merit Based Immigration. Go for it! WIN!”
(LAUGHTER)
COLBERT: What do you, what does that mean? What does that mean? What’s that mean, “Go for it! WIN!” “Ready? Okay. Two-four-six-eight, who do we incarcerate? Kids! Goooooo into the cages!” Ended sad, didn’t it? There are two things wrong with this. One, if it was a law, the Republicans are in control of everything. They can fix it. Second of all, it’s not a law, this is a policy. It’s just another scoop from your chum bucket of cruelty. Trump says he regrets having to do this, but…and this is a sentence I never thought I would utter…he justified his child prisons in the middle of a speech about his new space force.
PRESIDENT TRUMP: The United States will not be a migrant camp, and it will not be a refugee holding facility.
COLBERT: No, it’ll be the all-baby reboot of The Shawshank Redemption. (LAUGHTER)But not everyone in the administration blames this policy on the Democrats. Some say the policy doesn’t even exist. Like Secretary of Homeland Security and definitely not the descendant of immigrants, Kirstjen Nielsen, who tweeted yesterday, “We do not have a policy of separating families at the border. Period.” Then why are why are you locking up kids in an abandoned Walmart? Question mark, exclamation point, colon with your head up it?
(LAUGHTER)
COLBERT: Then this morning, this morning, this morning, Nielsen made this shocking claim.
KIRSTJEN NIELSEN: We do not have the luxury of pretending that all individuals coming to this country as a family unit are in fact a family.
COLBERT: Yes, who can tell if these weeping toddlers are part of a family? They might not even be toddlers. They might be adults with shoes on their knees.(LAUGHTER)
COLBERT: Nielsen went on.
NIELSEN: We have to do our job, we will not apologize for doing for our job.
COLBERT: Yes, they’re not going to apologize. What would that even look like? “We’ve taken your children hostage…sorry!”(LAUGHTER)
COLBERT: And Nielsen’s not the only one defending this tactic. So is White House Senior Policy Adviser Stephen Miller, seen here in his prom photo.
(LAUGHTER)
COLBERT: Dead. He’s dead. Just dead. He calls separating children from their parents “a potent tool…for stopping migrants from flooding across the border.” Which is fitting because I’ve always thought of Stephen Miller as “a potent tool.”
(LAUGHTER)
COLBERT: Of course, I’m sorry, impotent. Sorry. That’s not true. I’ve always thought of him as an impotent tool.
(APPLAUSE)
COLBERT: Of course, no national policy is complete until it has been vetted by the Fox & Friends.
STEVE DOOCY: Some refer to these as cages. I can understand that point of view. Look, I’m from a farm community, to me, I see the chain-link fences, it’s more like a security pen to me.
COLBERT: Yes, they’re not cages, they’re pens. We’re not treating these kids like zoo animals, we’re treating them like farm animals. But the best reaction came from Border Patrol, because they reached out to “CBS This Morning” this morning.
GAYLE KING: Border Patrol people have reached out to us. They were “very uncomfortable” in their words with his characterization of the words “cages.” They said it’s not inaccurate, but they’re very uncomfortable.(LAUGHTER)
COLBERT: Oh, it’s accurate. That’s what’s making them uncomfortable. That’s like reading “Hansel and Gretel” and saying “It’s accurate to say the witch eats children, but she lives in a house made of candy. Where else is she supposed to get her protein?” Trump’s defenders are wrong and they are bad but it’s important to give the devil its due. He’s a sponsor. So it’s time for our new segment. The Devil’s advocate!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
COLBERT: Hello, Lucifer here. You know, imprisoning children has been getting a lot of bad press recently, but the prison is that really the worst place for kids? I mean, have you been to a Chuck E. Cheese? Some people refer to these facilities as cages. But, on the other hoof, you see, I’m from a rural part of hell, and to me, they look more like pens where we make Charles Manson fight Thomas Jefferson. I’m sorry, Tom, it was the slave stuff. And these little criminals have got it made! They learn how to flush a toilet, which is good because the people defending this are full of crap.(LAUGHTER)
COLBERT: By the way, Jeff Sessions, see you soon.
