ABC’s new Match Game has gotten quite raunchy and crude, unlike last week’s show, which was tame in comparison. The celebrity panelists on that aired on April 16th were Horatio Sanz, Niecy Nash, Mario Cantone, Casey Wilson, Lamorne Morris and Martha Stewart. The tone was set when, during the introductions at the beginning of the show when the celebs hold up a card in greeting, Mario Cantone’s card read “Slut.” Ok, then.
The first question read by show host Alec Baldwin drew in a liberal Supreme Court Justice and went like this: “Tired of laying down the law, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is gonna be laying down some tracks as a gangsta rapper. She’ll be going by the name Lil What? Contestant Deborah answered, “Judge” Lil Judge. The celebrity answers varied, all kind of lame – “Justiz”, “Lil Baby Ruth”, “Lil R.B.G.”, etc.
Question three gently mocked the Amish population with a question about Instagram. Since the Amish don’t use social media, they don’t use Instagram. The question was, Amish kids walk around saying “hashtag” no BLANK. Most celebrities answered “No Electricity” or something similar, except for African American Lamorne Morris. Morris took it to a new level and answered, “No Negros.” Not only was that gratuitous racism but he misspelled his answer! Treating Amish people as unusual oddities, Baldwin asked if there were any Amish people in the studio audience. There was a young lady who answered in the affirmative.
Alec: Would you like question A or B?
Animah: I'm gonna go with question A. Question A.
Alec: Question A. Whoo! "Even though they don't have Instagram yet, trendy Amish kids are all about hashtagging. They walk around saying, 'Hashtag no blank.'" Even though they don't have Instagram yet, trendy Amish kids are all about hashtagging. They walk around saying, 'Hashtag no blank.'" Casey's on her feet, everyone. Here we go. Lamorne: Anybody in here ever been Amish?
Alec: Do we have any Amish people in the audience?
Lamorne: Nope. It sucks.
Alec: Are you Amish? Are you really? You were in an Amish camp? An Amish settlement? What are they called? You're Amish. Tell me -- what are they called? What do the Amish call where they live? It's an Amish what?
Audience member: It's a Rumspringa.
Alec: Rumspringa? Is that the word? I think so. Why do you know that? Oh, wait, I'm sorry! I'm the one wasting all the time now. Martha, are you in?
Martha: Yeah, I'm in.
Mario: Martha, you're not in. Martha!
Alec: Okay, we're good. "Even though they don't have Instagram yet, trendy Amish kids are all about hashtagging. They walk around saying, 'Hashtag no blank.'"
Aminah: Hashtag no TV.
Alec: Hashtag no TV. Okay. Okay. Horatio, what are those Amish people hashtagging, baby?
Horatio: I think they'd be hashtagging no electricity. No electricity.
Alec: Which would also suck, as far as our careers are concerned. Niecy, baby, what have you got?
Niecy: I said no electricity.
Alec: Martha?
Martha: I got a good one.
Alec: You got a good one.
Martha: Hashtag no scrapple.
Alec: No scrapple.
Mario: Explain -- Explain scrapple, Martha, 'cause no one knows what scrapple is. Do you know what scrapple is?
Alec: I know what scrapple is, yeah -- that meat that's made from, like –
Martha: From the whole hog.
Alec: You know, sometimes people come here and they give answers not really playing the game. They're just [slide whistle] with everybody. Lamorne.
Lamorne: Hashtag no Negros.
Aminah: That was a good one.
Lamorne: I never seen a black Amish!
Alec: Aminah, you got one match. Deborah has none. Casey? We're looking for no TV. Casey: No TV -- okay. Aminah, God save you, I put hashtag electricity. Electricity. I'm only human.
Yes, Baldwin was bleeped as he used the F-word in his exchange with Martha Stewart over scrapple.
The first question in Round Two was “My wife has beautiful, long red hair, unfortunately, it’s on her BLANK.” Horatio answered, “Boobs.” Mario answered, “Vagina.” Casey answered, “vageen” after sarcastically saying she was so happy to be on such a classy show. Niecy Nash, however, had to go there – she answered, “The part that Donald Trump wants to grab.”
Alec: All right, Pete, you go first. You want question A or B?
Pete: B.
Alec: B. Okay. "Sam said, 'My wife has beautiful, long, red hair. Unfortunately, it's on her blank.' "Sam said, 'My wife has beautiful, long, red hair. Unfortunately, it's on her blank.'" I have nothing to say. Whew! Who's in? Nobody's in.
Casey: I'm in.
Alec: Casey's in.
Martha: I'm in.
Alec: Martha's in. Niecy, you in?
Niecy: No, I'm not in just yet.
Alec: Lamorne, write something down, baby, because we're gonna get evicted from here pretty soon. Niecy is in.
Lamorne: Boom. I'm in. I got it.
Alec: "Sam said, 'My wife has beautiful, long, red hair. Unfortunately, it's on her blank.'" Pete: Back. Her back
Alec: Back?! Oh, my -- Of course. Well done, Pete. Well done. That's the right answer for a pillar of the community of Linden, New Jersey. Horatio, something tells me you might have been with a few hairy...
Horatio: Yeah. ...
Alec: People.
Horatio: Uh, women with hairy backs never bothered me. But, however, with hairy boobs, that's a problem.
Alec: Hairy boobs. Ooh. Hairy boobs. Niecy, baby. She's hairy where?
Niecy: You just don't want it to be on the part that Donald Trump wants to grab. Ohh! Yeah, I said it! I said it!
Yeah, classy.
Later, a question involving the game Clue was involved and poor Martha Stewart wasn’t familiar with the game, so she got the answer wrong. Lamorne, continuing on with his random crude answers, was bleeped and his answer wasn’t even shown.
This show, back in the day, was harmless family entertainment. The liberals in Hollywood have ruined this old classic show. That’s a shame.
