Colbert: "What do you have against Papa Bear?"
Franken: "Um, let's see, he's, he's a lout."
Colbert: "Mm-hmm."
Franken: "He's a liar."
Colbert: "‘Kay."
Franken: "He’s...a moron or an idiot."
Colbert: "Mm-hmm."
Franken: "He's a bully – he’s a hypocrite, he's a huge hypocrite."
Colbert: "Mm-hmm."
Franken: "For example, he's saying like he keeps talking about your secular, you know, liberal values as opposed to my traditional values. I didn't know that phone sex was a traditional value, you know? Maybe... (applause) maybe the telegraph sex could be a traditional value but not phone, phone sex."
Or the show was a rerun of dated Franken material. There were two whole segments of Franken. (He seemed awfully grumpy for someone trying to be funny. Or was he trying?) After the commercial break, Colbert had Franken answer comedic phone calls, set up so he could reprise his positively ancient USO boasting:
Caller: "Hi, Al. I think you're really funny."
Franken: "Thanks."
Caller: "Why do you hate our troops?" (Laughter)
Franken: "Um, well, thank you, Robin, for your question. That's a very good question. I'm glad you asked it. I don't hate our troops. Actually I've gone on six U.S.O. tours. My wife says to me, 'You don't see Bill O'Reilly doing a U.S.O. Tour. And I say, 'honey, that's not fair. He has no talent.'"
Franken also likes to use Sean Hannity as his punch line on that joke.
(Hat tip: MRC's Michelle Humphrey)
