New York Times columnist Ezra Klein’s quest to get his fellow liberals to ditch their love for bureaucratic red tape took him to Comedy Central’s The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart on Thursday, where he presented Stewart with the Biden Administration’s Byzantine 14-point plan on how to improve rural broadband service. After several minutes and multiple F-bombs, all Stewart could do was declare, “I'm speechless.”
Stewart’s descent into finding out that Build Back Better wasn’t that good at building anything began as Klein informed him of the first four steps, “We have to issue the notice funding opportunity within 180 days, that's step one. Step Two, which all 56 state [and territorial] applicants completed, is states who want to participate must submit a letter of intent. After they do that, they can submit a request for up to $5 million in planning grants. Then the NTIA, step four, has to review and approve an award. Again, planning grants, not broadband grants, planning grants.
Stewart then clarified that so far these are grants for “just planning,” which Klein affirmed.
Klein’s report that step five includes a “five-year action plan,” led Stewart to simply lament, “Oh my god.”
Step six, according to Klein, is ‘Then the FCC must publish the broadband data maps before NTIA allocates funds, so this one is a little funny at least. So, these maps, right? This is supposed to show you where you don’t have enough broadband, but it then says in parentheses, “and states needed opportunity to challenge map for accuracy.’”
Klein continued, “So, then the NTIA, step seven, has to use the FCC maps to make allocation decisions.”
Only halfway through the process, Stewart observed, “If you were to design a machine that would—it’s almost as though they have designed it to make sure that people in rural areas never—by the time this is around, Musk will already have the chips in our brains. We won’t even need it.”
Klein argued that “is literally happening, by the way, by the time this could have gotten off the ground, Musk is taking it over for Starlink.”
Things really got comical when Klein reached step eight, “is states must submit an initial proposal, an initial proposal, to the NTIA. Then—”
A confused Stewart then interrupted, “Is that the result of their $5 million planning fund?” A similarly confused Klein guessed, “I assume so, then what was the five-year plan?” Stewart raged, “And what the fuck did they apply for? What was their NOFA? God.”
After more mutual confusion on the difference between the planning fund and the five-year plan, Stewart raged further, “Forget NOFA. MOFO, these are motherfuckers. These—this is crazy.”
A distraught Klein moved on, “Step nine, NTIA must review and approve each state's, again, initial proposal. By my read, we have had at least two initial proposals here, but that's a different issue. Step ten: states must publish their own map and allow internal challenges to their own map. So, the government has published a map, they have invited the states to challenge the map, then states have submitted initial proposals and then they have to publish their own map and allow challenges.”
Stewart wondered, “Wait, who’s challenging it within the state?”
An exasperated Klein told him it could be “organized interest groups, environmental groups, like, I don’t know specifically, but literally anybody.”
Klein continued, “The NTIA must review and improve the challenge results and the final map. So the NTIA has put forward a map, the states have challenged that map, then the states put forward their maps, had other challenges and now the NTIA must review and approve the challenges to the state map.”
Stewart joked that “My hair was dark when we started this process. I was a young, healthy man. I had the bone density of a stainless steel—”
However, Stewart’s torment was not yet done. “Step 12: States must run a competitive subgranting process,” Klein informed him next.
Dejected, Stewart exclaimed, “Oh, my fucking God. At step 12. After all this has been done?”
Klein then wrapped up the process, “Yeah, none of that could’ve happened along the way either. We’ve now lost 17 applicants, so now 30 or 56 have completed step 12. Step 13: States must submit a final proposal because all the proposals weren't enough to NTIA. Now that goes to three of 56…. Step 14: The NTIA must review and approve the state's final proposal. And that is three of the 56 jurisdictions and states are there.
A stupefied Stewart could only muster, “I'm speechless.”
Stewart appeared to learn something from the discussion; hopefully he’ll remember the next time he is on The Daily Show about to do a monologue about deregulation.
Here is a transcript for the March 27 show:
Comedy Central The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart
3/27/2025
22 Minutes 7 Seconds
EZRA KLEIN: We have to issue the notice funding opportunity within 180 days, that's step one.
Step Two, which all 56 state applicants completed, is states who want to participate must submit a letter of intent. After they do that, they can submit a request for up to $5 million in planning grants. Then the NTIA, step four has to review and approve an award. Again, planning grants, not broadband grants, planning grants.
…
Step three: "They can request up to $5 million in planning grants.
JON STEWART: Just planning.
KLEIN: Just planning. Step four: the requests are reviewed, approved and awarded by the NTIA.
…
States must submit a five-year action plan.
STEWART: Oh my, god.
…
KLEIN: Then the FCC must publish the broadband data maps before NTIA allocates funds, so this one is a little funny at least. So, these maps, right? This is supposed to show you where you don’t have enough broadband, but it then says in parentheses “and states needed opportunity to challenge map for accuracy.”
So, having done the NOFA, the letters of intent, the request for planning grants, then the review approval, and awarding of the planning grants, then the five-year action plans, in between that the federal government has to put forward a map saying where it thinks we need rural broadband subsidies.
And then, of course, the states need an opportunity to challenge the map for accuracy and you can imagine this doesn’t all happen in a day.
So, then the NTIA, step 7, has to use the FCC maps to make allocation decisions. Then having already done their letter of intent, their requests It's hard even to talk about this, man.
STEWART: Ezra, I just want to say, if you were going to design the machine that would keep people from getting broadband—
KLEIN: Yes.
STEWART: If you were to design a machine that would—it’s almost as though they have designed it to make sure that people in rural areas never—by the time this is around, Musk will already have the chips in our brains. We won’t even need it.
KLEIN: Well that is literally happening, by the way, by the time this could have gotten off the ground, Musk is taking it over for Starlink. Okay, step seven, is NTIA must use the FCC maps that were already challenged for allocation decisions then having submitted all this, I think this one is actually quite amazing—
STEWART: Yeah
KLEIN: -- having submitted their five year plans and letters of intent, step eight is states must submit an initial proposal, an initial proposal, to the NTIA. Then—
STEWART: Is that the result of their $5 million planning fund?
KLEIN: I assume so, then what was the five-year plan?
STEWART: And what the fuck did they apply for? What was their NOFA? God.
KLEIN: Like if the five-year action plan isn’t the initial proposal then what’s the five-year action plan?
STEWART: Forget NOFA. MOFO, these are motherfuckers. These—this is crazy.
KLEIN: Step nine, NTIA must review and approve each state's, again, initial proposal. By my read, we have had at least two initial proposals here, but that's a different issue.
STEWART: Oh my god.
KLEIN: Step ten: states must publish their own map and allow internal challenges to their own map. So, the government has published a map, they have invited the states to challenge the map, then states have submitted initial proposals and then they have to publish their own map and allow challenges.
STEWART: Wait, who’s challenging it within the state?
KLEIN: Well, you know, organized interest groups, environmental groups—
STEWART: Oh my god.
KLEIN: Like, I don’t know specifically, but literally anybody.
…
Step 11: the NTIA must review and improve the challenge results and the final map. So the NTIA has put forward a map, the states have challenged that map, then the states put forward their maps, had other challenges and now the NTIA must review and approve the challenges to the state map.
Okay, at this point it’s 47 of 56, so we’ve just lost nine of the applicants.
STEWART: My hair was dark when we started this process. I was a young, healthy man. I had the bone density of a stainless steel—
…
KLEIN: Step 12: States must run a competitive subgranting process.
STEWART: Oh, my fucking God. At step 12. After all this has been done?
KLEIN: Yeah, none of that could’ve happened along the way either. We’ve now lost 17 applicants, so now 30 or 56 have completed step 12. Step 13: States must submit a final proposal because all the proposals weren't enough to NTIA. Now that goes to three of 56.
…
Step 14: the NTIA must review and approve the state's final proposal. And that is three of the 56 jurisdictions and states are there.
…
STEWART: I'm speechless.
