NBC’s Seth Meyers was greatly displeased with House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries on Monday’s episode of Late Night after he argued Democrats need to be like baseball star Aaron Judge and choose which pitches to swing at. Meyers, on the other hand, demanded that Democrats “get your bat off your [bleep] shoulder” because “Trump is barraging us with such an intense fuselage of non-stop bull[bleep].”
After a clip of Jeffries’s remarks, Meyers attacked, “All right, first of all, you guys aren't Aaron Judge. You're more like Bartolo Colon. It's a wonder you can swing without your helmet coming off. Second, most of Trump's pitches are 65 miles an hour right down the center of the plate. Get your bat off your [bleep] shoulder. Democrats should be teeing off on this guy. Right? But instead of teeing off on this guy, they're putting up goose eggs.”
After a digression about eggs, Meyers returned to his point, “So, pundits and Democratic elders want us all not to freak out at everything Trump does, but what if every day he does multiple things that are freak-out worthy? What do we do then? For real, what do we do? Does anyone know? Anyone? How about you, Wally?”
Cue card holder Chris "Wally" Feresten then played the role of progressive political theory nerd, “Well, Seth, I believe we have to start by addressing the root causes of America's slide into autocracy, beginning with our culture of elite impunity and a veracious greed of moneyed interest, who over the course of the mid to late 20th century captured our political establishment—”
After that bit, Meyers got back on track, “but seriously, though, Trump is barraging us with such an intense fuselage of non-stop bull[bleep].”
Is bureaucratic reorganization, wherein USAID becomes subordinate to the State Department, “freak-out worthy” or an “intense fuselage of non-stop bull[shit]”? Most would say no, but Democrats spent Monday acting like it was. If Democrats and Meyers think they need to go to bat for taxpayer-funded Irish DEI musicals, then they will continue to strike out.
Here is a transcript for the February 3-taped show:
NBC Late Night with Seth Meyers
2/4/2025
12:50 AM ET
SETH MEYERS: All right, first of all, you guys aren't Aaron Judge. You're more like Bartolo Colon. It's a wonder you can swing without your helmet coming off. Second, most of Trump's pitches are 65 miles an hour right down the center of the plate. Get your bat off your [bleep] shoulder. Democrats should be teeing off on this guy. Right? But instead of teeing off on this guy, they're putting up goose eggs. [Goose sound] Oh, sorry, birdie. I wasn't -- I wasn't talking to you, honey, but still, you know. Business is going to be rocking on the street corner tonight. Any chance you can also lay some avocados? Sorry. Real quick, I have to reset these eggs back under the desk in case we call back that joke again.
NBC said they would pay for four eggs, but not under any circumstances six. Meanwhile, Lorne Michaels, full omelet station.
So, pundits and Democratic elders want us all not to freak out at everything Trump does, but what if every day he does multiple things that are freak-out worthy? What do we do then? For real, what do we do? Does anyone know? Anyone? How about you, Wally?
CHRIS “WALLY” FERESTEN: Well, Seth, I believe we have to start by addressing the root causes of America's slide into autocracy, beginning with our culture of elite impunity and a veracious greed of moneyed interest, who over the course of the mid to late 20th century captured our political establishment –
MEYERS: Not [bleep] now, Wally. Jesus. It's rhetorical bro! We don't have your time for your treatise on American decline.
FERESTEN: Well, fine. If anyone at home would like to hear more, you can purchase a copy of my new pamphlet, The Cue Munist Manifesto.
MEYERS: Wally, you're a communist?
FERESTEN: What can I say, communism sells, baby.
MEYERS: Okay, well, I actually then think you're doing it wrong, but seriously, though, Trump is barraging us with such an intense fuselage of non-stop bull[bleep].
