The Late Show host Stephen Colbert will frequently tout how Catholicism has impacted his life and can be very knowledgeable of its teachings. However, getting Colbert to defend all of those teachings on his CBS platform is a different story as evidence by Thursday’s show where he attacked new Speaker Mike Johnson as “extremely anti-LGBTQ” and a “dick.”
Colbert usually begins with a cold open and Thursday was no exception. Based on former President Trump labeling Johnson as “MAGA Mike Johnson,” The Late Show put together a satirical movie trailer where the narrator hypes, “From the people who didn't see Magic Mike because they thought it would turn them gay, comes a brand-new Johnson that just became fully elect.”
After an additional sexual pun about Johnson’s “spending package,” the narrator again explains, “He will bang all night long, and he wants to strip away your rights. Starring Speaker Mike Johnson as "MAGA Mike: XX-election denier." What a dick!”
Apparently, the late night hosts copy each other’s homework because Comedy Central The Daily Show temp host Desus Nice also referred to Johnson as a “dick.”
During his monologue, Colbert went after Johnson for something he wrote in 2004, “Johnson is also extremely anti-LGBTQ, saying, "Homosexual marriage is the dark harbinger of chaos and sexual anarchy that could doom even the strongest republic."
Of course, Colbert will never acknowledge that when same-sex marriage was being debated, proponents claimed they were the live-and-let-live types, but now many of those very same people demand you bake the cake. He will never concede that people who warned about a slippery slope were correct as now most of the same people are arguing that the definitions of manhood and womanhood are based on feelings. Finally, Colbert will never defend a Christian who believes in a Biblically-based sexual ethos despite claiming to be one. However, Colbert would later find his religion when he angerly condemned "a self-professed deeply religious man" Johnson for not embracing gun control.
Here is a transcript for the October 26 show:
CBS The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
10/26/2023
11:35 PM ET
NARRATOR: From the people who didn't see Magic Mike because they thought it would turn them gay, comes a brand-new Johnson that just became fully elect.
MIKE JOHNSON: The country demands strong leadership of this body.
NARRATOR: This fall, you won't believe the size of his spending package.
DONALD TRUMP: I've seen it.
NARRATOR: He will bang all night long, and he wants to strip away your rights. Starring Speaker Mike Johnson as "MAGA Mike: XX-election denier." What a dick!
…
11:41 PM ET
STEPHEN COLBERT: Johnson is also extremely anti-LGBTQ, saying, "Homosexual marriage is the dark harbinger of chaos and sexual anarchy that could doom even the strongest republic." If you're doin' it right. Go for some dark chaos right now. Senator John Kennedy revealed perhaps the most upsetting fact about Speaker Johnson.
JOHN KENNEDY: He does wonderful impersonations. If you haven't already, ask him to do a few of his impersonations.
COLBERT: I would love to see Mike Johnson's impersonations. "Hi I'm Mike Johnson. and this is my Robert de Niro. [Robert de Niro voice] Meh, see? Homosexual marriage is the dark harbinger of chaos and sexual anarchy, see? Myeh! Myeh! Myeh"
