Day two of Leslie Jones guest hosting The Daily Show went about as well critics of Comedy Central’s list of fill ins expected. Jones teamed up with Planned Parenthood President Alexis McGill Johnson to promote vasectomies as a reasonable response to Dobbs and to ask how to keep pro-lifers or “mother[bleep] out of pussy.”
Jones began the interview by trying to help Johnson make the case that Planned Parenthood is more than just an abortion mill, “Tell me the services that you provide for people with penises.”
Johnson ran through a list of things that men may patron Planned Parenthood for, “Yes! Men are like one of the fastest growing demographics at Planned Parenthood, they come for the same set of services, they come to get access to condoms, they come to get access to STI screenings, they come for vasectomies, increasingly come after the Dobbs decision, right? They are coming in.”
It was that last one that Jones decided to focus on, “I don't know. I mean, I mean, maybe we need to market it. You know what I'm saying? Maybe we need to have a better market like "we treat the meat." You know what I'm saying? Planned Parenthood—Planned Parenthood presents: The Dick Fixers. You know what I'm saying?”
Despite the duo trying to portray Planned Parenthood as something other than a simple abortion provider, they could not help themselves. In what was supposed to be a response to a question about stigma surrounding sexual health, Johnson fear-mongered by tying Dobbs to poor miscarriage care, “But they are being affected—but they are really being affected by this Dobbs decision, right, because on the other side of every single abortion, every choice that someone makes to not continue a pregnancy, we are also seeing the impact on miscarriage management, we’re seeing the impact on their wives, on their daughters, on their sisters, on their workers, on their coworkers.”
Jones replied by wondering, “how do you combat that? Like this thing about our rights and everything, how we keep—how we keep these mother[bleep] out of pussy?”
Johnson urged activism as a response, “Well, I mean first of all, I mean, we have to be clear that the Supreme Court made a decision, but the Supreme Court doesn't get the last word. We do.”
To which the majority on the Supreme Court would say,” Yes, and?” Johnson realizing that she now has to work to get her preferred policies enacted and not decreed from on high led her to do some more fear-mongering, “And we are going to need to fight state by state because they are coming for birth control, they are coming for IVF, they are coming, they are literally trying to bankrupt us in Texas, right, Planned Parenthood in Texas. They are trying everything they can to stop people from getting access to care. But what we have -- and people like you are just passionate about freedom, passionate about justice, is an opportunity to really be a leader and a volunteer.”
After Johnson handed her a pink megaphone, Jones wrapped things up, “Now you know you shouldn't give me no damn bullhorn. I’m going to be out there on the streets going ‘Hey, women—Hey, women—are you leaking? Come to Planned Parenthood so we can do some peaking, you know what I’m saying. Hey guys come in quick, so we can fix your dick.’”
It’s going to be a long year of Daily Show guest hosts.
This segment was sponsored by Ally Bank.
Here is a transcript for the January 18 show:
Comedy Central The Daily Show
1/18/2022
11:28 PM ET
LESLIE JONES: Tell me the services that you provide for people with penises.
ALEXIS MCGILL JOHNSON: Yes! Men are like one of the fastest growing demographics at Planned Parenthood, they come for the same set of services, they come to get access to condoms, they come to get access to STI screenings, they come for vasectomies, increasingly come after the Dobbs decision, right? They are coming in.
JONES: I don't know. I mean, I mean, maybe we need to market it. You know what I'm saying? Maybe we need to have a better market like "we treat the meat." You know what I'm saying? Planned Parenthood—Planned Parenthood presents: The Dick Fixers. You know what I'm saying?
JOHNSON: We do that too.
JONES: But like do you think men are embarrassed about what they need to come in for? Let me tell you something, men, it is important that men get checked out. Their actual health affects their wives, partners, and girlfriends too. Roe v. Wade was overturned six, seven months ago, and it's important for men to come in also. Tell them how important it is.
JOHNSON: Yeah, it is so critical. I mean, first of all, stigma around sexual and reproductive health care affects everybody so it does affect men. They may not talk about it, but they are certainly coming to Planned Parenthood to get it checked out, right? They see something, they need to say something, they need to come in and make sure.
JONES: Exactly! See something, say something.
JOHNSON: But they are being affected—but they are really being affected by this Dobbs decision, right, because on the other side of every single abortion, every choice that someone makes to not continue a pregnancy, we are also seeing the impact on miscarriage management, we’re seeing the impact on their wives, on their daughters, on their sisters, on their workers, on their coworkers and so men I would say are showing up in a much stronger way. There’s a lot of them out there free-styling because I still don't know how our bodies work, how our periods work, how our pregnancies work but there a lot of men are showing up because it is important to give them the energy to continue to do that.
JONES: Yes! Yes! How do we—how do we—how do you combat that? Like this thing about our rights and everything, how we keep—how we keep these mother[bleep] out of pussy?
JOHNSON: Well—Well, I mean first of all, I mean, we have to be clear that the Supreme Court made a decision, but the Supreme Court doesn't get the last word. We do.
JOHNSON: Yes!
JONES: And we are going to need to fight state by state because they are coming for birth control, they are coming for IVF, they are coming, they are literally trying to bankrupt us in Texas, right, Planned Parenthood in Texas. They are trying everything they can to stop people from getting access to care. But what we have -- and people like you are just passionate about freedom, passionate about justice, is an opportunity to really be a leader and a volunteer.
JONES: Ooh! Now you know you shouldn't give me no damn bullhorn. I’m going to be out there on the streets going “Hey, women—Hey, women—are you leaking? Come to Planned Parenthood so we can do some peaking, you know what I’m saying. Hey guys come in quick, so we can fix your dick.”
JOHNSON: Yes! Yes!
